Bitten: Descent Review

SyFy continues to leave us howling for more as Elena throws her first solo art show.

If you, like I, have noticed a distinct lack of Creeper Guy in the last couple of episodes of Bitten, never fear. Nothing happened to our demented little pal, and to prove it, here’s an episode almost completely centered around him! Well, him, and Logan and Rachel, and Elena and Phillip, and Clay and Elena, and Nick and the Stillwaters family….

Before we get to Creeper Guy, let’s back up a little bit to last episode: Logan and Rachel found out that they were expecting a little cub, er I mean, boy. Logan is visibly freaked, which is our first clue that things might not be “alright”. Then he got the nice little package of the silver rattle with a note attached, which said “It’s a boy!”… The problem here is that neither he nor Rachel had told anyone that they were expecting or found out the sex, much less what it was. Fast forward to this week’s episode which sees Logan and Elena switching geographical places. Elena returns to Toronto (with Clay, at Jeremy’s insistence) for the opening of her first ever art show, while Logan returned to Stonehaven to talk to Nick and Jeremy about the fact that he’s expecting his first little Pack member. Now remember kids, it has only been discussed a little bit so it’s easy to forget, but boys born to non-wolf mothers (a.k.a. all of those born wolves, since Elena is the only female wolf and she has no children that we know of) are taken away at birth to be raised by the Pack. Logan was left with his human mother until he was older, and thus was brought up without knowledge of what he was and how to deal with it. Logan, understandably, wants to keep the baby with he and Rachel instead of handing him over the Pack. While Nick seems to think that it’s out of the question, Jeremy is a bit hesitant to immediately sentence Logan’s unborn son to a life without his mother.

Logan’s news of a progeny is overshadowed by the junior Stillwater, Joey [Elias Toufexis], contacting Nick after having run away from the Mutts when they let him out as bait for a hunt. Thanks to his childhood games with Nick, Joey remembered that covering himself in mud could hide his scent from the Mutts long enough for him to get away*. Jeremy is suspicious because all the information that Joey can give them about what happened to him and where he was being held is incredibly vague. Not for nothing, Jeremy, but you’d probably be extremely vague too if you were held in a cage, inside a building, away from windows, for all that time. He didn’t give you detail because there was none to give! Fortunately, Nick sticks by his childhood friend and gives Joey the chance to lead them to where he was being held. Unfortunately, the Mutts had cleared out around the same time that Joey ran off. Guess where they went….

* (Just a little note from a country gal: covering yourself in mud is not a viable way to hide from a predator. Yes, it will mask your scent, but it will not completely get rid of it. Animals are not that stupid…. most of the time.)

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Unfortunately, Creeper Guy is pretty much intertwined with the rest of the story this week. We get to see how little control Santos has over him, as well as how little he has changed during his time in prison. Rehabilitation? Creeper Guy laughs in the face of “rehabilitation via prison sentence”.

Our not even remotely lovable weirdo even carries a rabbits foot around with him. I’m guessing that keeping actual rabbits with him wouldn’t be viable since, ya know, wolf, rabbit, nom nom nom…. Anyways, we’ve already been told that this guy is stuck on getting revenge on Elena for testifying against him and getting him extra time in prison. What better way to get revenge than to drop in on her very first art show and try to convince her already doubting boyfriend that she liked being molested as a child. (Let me interject here and drop the usually playful mood for just a second. This shouldn’t have to be said, but sadly I feel it’s necessary: children are never to blame for people like this guy. It doesn’t matter if they didn’t say the word “no”, or even acted like they enjoyed being around the abusive adult. Kids aren’t psychologically developed enough to understand the manipulation that happens in these sorts of situations. All they know is that someone older than them, and thus in charge [“always listen to the adult”], is telling them it’s okay. The abusers in these situations generally give the kids something good to “outweigh” the bad things. It’s difficult for even the most educated of adults to understand the psychology behind what these people do, much less a child. Children cannot consent. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming *steps off soapbox*.) Luckily, Phillip steps in and beats the ever living crap out of Creeper Guy. Meanwhile, Clay’s outside doing much of the same to Santos. Lo and behold, they both run away like scared little pups. Or should I say Mutts?

After watching this week’s episode, I can just imagine all of the Bitten fan girls swooning over Clay (even more): “He even cooks!” Now hold on a minute, girls. If you recall, the only thing we’ve ever seen anyone from the pack cook is pancakes and bacon. Maybe our boy Clay is a one trick pony? Then again, if being a werewolf makes you crave carbs and meat, that trick is pretty much the only one you need. Swoon on, girls.

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3.5 out of 5