This article is sponsored by Sneak Energy
It is time to discuss something important. Something that, thanks to the many distractions and responsibilities this world concocts, becomes even more important with age. In the wise words of the once-great Canadian Philosopher, Drake, I got a lot of people trying to drain me of this energy…to play video games.
That last part may or may not have been added on, but the overall sentiment remains true: it can be difficult to muster up the energy for gaming as life tends to hit you with a Blue Shell at every corner. But fear not! Sneak Energy Drinks are the perfect boost for not just gaming, but also for all your general good life vibes as well.
Sneak was founded in 2018 by experienced consumer entrepreneurs Will Peirce and Jonny Teeling and since their launch, the brand has sold over 20 million energy drinks worldwide.. Their low-calorie, zero sugar energy drink is available in powdered formula and is packed with vitamins, minerals and amino acids to heighten your reaction times and keep you focused. You’ll never get surprised by that enemy camping in the corner of your Call of Duty Map ever again!
Plus, the bunny logo is somehow the perfect combination of cute and cool. The only question is…which flavor do you get?
That’s where we come in, looking at each of the glorious flavors Sneak has blessed us with and associating them with a particular video game character. If that character speaks to you, then oh-boy daddy-o you’re all set! So get in, gamers, we’re nerding out big time with this one.
Starter Pack – Mario
If you’re one of those smart people who listens to all the smart people with all the best qualifications that believe Mario is pertinent to not just your gaming life, but also to your growth as a human. He practically saved the video game industry in the first place, so starting anywhere else would be a disservice. Frankly, Mario should be a part of every young student’s learning curriculum.
And much like his appearances in other spin-off titles (Mario Kart, Mario Party, Super Smash Bros., etc), Mario tends to be a jack-of-all-trades type, which tends to be the perfect route for beginners. The starter pack is, unsurprisingly, the optimal starting point that will introduce you to a larger world.
Blue Raspberry – Sonic the Hedgehog
Described as “the people’s favorite,” there is no character better suited to the Blue Raspberry flavor than Sonic, the Meme Lord of the video game universe. His games may not be as universally acclaimed as some other iconic characters on this list, but he remains a constant fixture in gaming culture nonetheless.
What other character could break the video game movie curse and spawn (soon-to-be) three movies? Sonic doesn’t care about what critics and art snobs have to say, he’s just here for a good time. So whenever Doctor Robotnik starts marching around trying to turn Sonic’s natural world into robots and machines? Not a fan! And neither is Sneak, which is why they take the side of having all-natural colors and flavors.
Purple Storm (UK ONLY) – Rayman
Rayman is an interesting fellow. While he may not be a weird personality, his odd physique of detached floating limbs is absolutely, undeniably, irrefutably weird. But it’s not just his delightfully weird design and purple coloring that makes him the best fit for the Purple Storm flavor, but his literal gaming catalog.
As Sneak puts it, the Purple Storm flavor is all about “creating havoc” and Rayman’s third outing is quite literally titled Hoodlum Havoc, which is both as zany as the title suggests and one of the more underrated platformers out there.
Variety Cans – Nobody
Gaming has plenty of all-stars, but the underdogs and newcomers deserve some love, too. The eponymously named Nobody from the recently released indie-darling Nobody Saves the World is all about variety. Nobody is essentially the Ben 10 of video game characters, with a magical wand that gives him the ability to transform into a plethora of different warriors.
There’s a noble knight, a poisonous slug, and even a magician — all with their own strengths to aid you in your quest to defeat evil. Evil always needs defeating, but sometimes it’s good to have more than just one way of going about things, and Sneak’s Variety Cans are no different.
Just like Nobody’s many forms, Sneak has amassed its own squadron of fans with over 20k active Facebook and Discord community members with routine giveaways of exclusive products, prizes, and more.
Cherry Bomb – ‘Splosion Man
You could say a lot for Cherry Bomb. Perhaps you were one of those folks losing their mind after the song of the same name played in Guardians of the Galaxy. Or maybe you were even a young lad being forced to adhere to the arcane rule sometimes implemented in your recess game of foursquare. But this is about video games, and the legend known as ‘Splosion Man deserves the honor.
As Sneak puts it, their Cherry Bomb flavor is “a classic with a twist”, and ‘Splosion Man represents that in spades. In most platformers the last thing you’re trying to do is explode, but ‘Splosion Man is all about exploding himself as a means of jumping and maneuvering through obstacles. He is, as the kids say, the bomb.
Tropikilla – Crash Bandicoot
“Your favorite fruit, crushed” is a way I’d describe the Wumpa Fruit from the Crash Bandicoot series. It looks like an apple that decided at the last second it also wanted to be a pineapple or banana. But even still, the slurping sound effect from collecting these bad boys as everyone’s favorite orange marsupial remains timeless.
Plus, Crash himself seems like the type of individual who loves getting tropical. He just throws on some jeans and calls it a day, probably laying down on a beach and letting the sunlight fry whatever is left of his silly little brain. He’s an inspiration.
Strawberry Watermelon – Yoshi
Keeping with the fruit theme, let’s talk about the green dinosaur with a remarkably stretchy tongue: Yoshi! Like the delightful watermelon fruit, every now and then Yoshi isn’t put in the top-tier of video game characters. His vibes are immaculate, his love of fruit is fitting, and he is a loyal friend.
On a hot summer day, Watermelon is there to help you. And when you’re a baby in need of protection, Yoshi is there for you, too. Just 12 calories and zero sugar added, plus that oozy and pleasantly green natural color, Yoshi himself may snatch one of these bad boys if you’re not careful.
Breakfast Orange – Q*Bert
Do you ever miss the ’90s? Those were the simpler times. Enjoying Ken Griffey Jr. in his prime? Discovering classic anime like YuYu Hakusho, One Piece, and Cowboy Bebop for the first time? When the most newsworthy thing occurring at the White House was an alien spaceship blowing it up? Capturing that nostalgia is what Sneak’s Breakfast Orange is all about, and Q*Bert might just be the right creature for the job.
Like a classic Sunny D commercial playing on your standard-definition mini-tv, the Breakfast Orange is all about the simpler times. Forget fancy graphics or cinematic storytelling, Q*Bert looks like a baby carrot gained sentience and simply loves jumping on different blocks to make the colors match up.
But make no mistake; the Breakfast Orange may be simple but it still provides the boost to your day, with plenty of vitamins and minerals to make for a strong substitute for, well, your daily breakfast!
Neon Punch – Pac-Man
Look, do you want an explosion of flavor? Of course you do. Do you like classic arcade games? Of course you do. Pac-Man is both of those things, and his masterpiece might be Pac-Man: Championship Edition, which features the oh-so-delightful neon aesthetic that suits his classic gameplay perfectly.
That’s really all that needs to be said. Pac-Man is the original arcade king, and those flashing lights are about as neon as neon gets. Do you ever notice how cool the word neon is? And while, yes, Pac-Man does obviously enjoy himself a good snack, I’m sure he’d appreciate low-calorie Sneak flavors make their way into his mazes for bonus points every now and then.
OG Shaker – Sephiroth
Let’s mix things up a bit, because Sneak doesn’t just have different drink flavors for you. They’ve also got shakers to help you out and hold two servings of Sneak energy drinks for you. One of these shakers is the OG Shaker, and now is about as good a time to introduce the first video game villain on the list: Sephiroth.
He’s an OG in his own right — still regarded to this day as one of gaming’s most iconic villains — plus his radiant white hair matches the color of this shaker.
Metal Shaker – Solid Snake
Let’s cut straight to the point. The most important metal in gaming is the one that is a solid gear. Who’s the star of Metal Gear Solid? Solid Snake. And you know what Solid Snake would want? He’d want the right equipment to be prepared for his next adventure, and a shaker is just that.
Glitch Tee – Tony Hawk
This is somewhat cheating, but it is appropriate enough given that we’re discussing Sneak’s tee-shirt. Tony Hawk is, of course, a real-life person, but his abilities as a skateboard felt like a literal glitch in the matrix — a cheat-code that gained sentience and took the form of a human being.
Moreover, the entire Tony Hawk: Pro Skater series was all about exploiting the impossible, so what could possibly be more fitting?