It’s Oscar Time!

Mark doesn't have a lot of time for the Oscars. And he's proud to present his evidence...

Did her career a lot of good...

It’s that time of year again when the American Academy of Motion Pictures gets completely up its own backside to bring us…the Oscars!

And the world and it’s cloned pooch is supposed to sit through what seems forever to hear some American starlet thank God or just blub uncontrollably, or a British Thespian deliver more pathos than their last three film roles provided.

Who gives a stuff?

I like films, but I couldn’t really care less how much the jewelry Julia Roberts has borrowed cost, or who made the tux Brad Pitt is perspiring into. I’m also not sure that it makes a hill of beans who wins, or how much the sticker ‘nominated for 8 Oscars’ impacts on the DVD sales, never mind the box office receipts.

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And to support my view of their irrelevance here are some of Mr. Oscar’s more bizarre decisions;

1999 – Best Picture – Shakespeare in LoveI liked this film myself, but better than nominated Saving Private Ryan? Really?1995 – Best Picture – BraveheartHow Braveheart won a ‘Best Picture’ is just incomprehensible, I’ll leave it at that.

1991 – Best Picture – Dances with WolvesYes, that excessively long movie beat out Goodfellas…It could have been worse I guess, as Ghost was also nominated for Best Picture.1986 – Best Picture – Out of AfricaThe Color Purple didn’t swing it for Spielberg, and the excellent Runaway Train wasn’t even nominated, and neither was Back to the Future, or Brazil.

1978 – Best Picture – Annie HallIn the same year, Star Wars got six Oscars mostly for sound, costumes and effects, but none of the big awards despite being nominated for Bet Director, Best Picture, Best Screenplay and Best Supporting Actor.1977 – Best Picture – RockyIn this year Taxi Driver got four nominations, won nothing, and Scorsese wasn’t even nominated for Best Director. I enjoyed Rocky, but it’s not Taxi Driver.

1976 – Best Picture-  One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s NestIn the same year, Jaws got just four nominations and won Best Editing, Best Music and Best Sound. But amazingly it wasn’t nominated for any acting performance, direction or writing.1970 – Best Picture – PattonIt wasn’t a great years for films, as demonstrated that Patton won against a Best Picture line-up that bizarrely included Love Story.

I’m sure other people have their favourites, but Uncle Oscar is certifiable on occasions. My personal weird year is 1942, when Citizen Kane and The Maltese Falcon stood toe to toe for Best Picture, only to have How Green Was My Valley win.

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So whoever wins this year, I wouldn’t take it too seriously, even if you’re nominated!