Did you hear the news? Jason Voorhees is going to be in Mortal Kombat X, available as downloadable content along with two classic characters and one other guest fighter. Pretty wild. There’s no word on just who the lucky guy or girl will be, though there is a lot of speculation.
By the way, totally called it nine months ago. Yeah! Go me!
Guest characters in fighting games have been a pretty regular thing since the days of Ryo Sakazaki appearing in Fatal Fury Special despite being from a different fighting game series. Over the years we’ve had everything from Akuma showing up in X-Men: Children of the Atom, Pac-Man and Box Art Mega Man in Street Fighter X Tekken, Earthworm Jim in Clayfighter 63 1/3, and even the last Mortal Kombat game gave us Kratos and Freddy Krueger.
Now let’s look at some guys I’d love to see in Mortal Kombat X. Even though he’s a strong possibility, I’m not putting Spawn on the list because Spawn is lame. Sorry, but he is.
*sigh* Spawn’s going to be in the game, isn’t he…
10. Brock Lesnar
This will never happen. Never, ever, ever happen because WWE’s kind of married to being PG thanks to their Mattel contract. Still, NetherRealm just did WWE Immortals and I can’t imagine a more fitting inclusion into Mortal Kombat X than Brock Lesnar. He’s so fitting as a Mortal Kombat character. He’s a mixed-martial arts champion. He once destroyed Hulk Hogan so badly that he returned to the ring just to paint his chest with Hogan’s blood. A year ago, he manhandled a zombie wizard cowboy, which is such a Mortal Kombat thing! You don’t even have to give him one of his demonic WWE Immortals character designs. Just make it Brock Lesnar and you’re good.
While you’re at it, make him a hidden boss that you can only fight when you’ve gotten 21 wins in a row. It writes itself, man!
Okay, so when I originally wrote this list, I had Rick Taylor from Splatterhouse in this spot. Kind of out of the question now considering he’s a Jason knockoff and we already have the real deal Holyfield. If we want to toss in another 90s video game violence relic to join its fellow goremongers, we might as go with Doomguy or the Doom Marine or Flynn Taggart or whatever you want to call him. That guy from Doom.
Doomguy starred in the Doom comic, which is the damnedest thing if you haven’t read it. Imagine the kind of madness we’d hear from his pre-fight dialogue.
“None can stand up to Goro of the Shokan!”
“YOU ARE HUGE! THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE GUTS! RIP AND TEAR!”
“…I beg your pardon?”
8. Black Orchid
Ed Boon would love nothing more than to finally get that Street Fighter crossover he’s been dreaming of for over 20 years, but that’s just not happening. Street Fighter has paired up with Tekken and the SNK fighters, and even Dead or Alive was able to pair itself up with Virtua Fighter in their last game. If Mortal Kombat was going to pal around with any other fighting game series, it would probably be Killer Instinct. It feels right, you know? Especially now that Killer Instinct is somewhat relevant and is being used as a tool to coerce people into getting the Xbox One. Naturally, if a Killer Instinct character was going to be in a Mortal Kombat game, it would have to be an Xbox exclusive.
The marquee characters in Killer Instinct are, what, Jago, Orchid, and Fulgore, right? Fulgore probably wouldn’t work based on my ramblings on the T-800. Jago is another ninja and that’s the last thing Mortal Kombat needs. Let’s give it to Orchid, who has been knocked through reality thanks to killing Eyedol or whatever it was that caused everyone to go back in time in Killer Instinct 2. Just pretend it knocked her into Outworld instead. It would probably be for the best that they don’t include her old murder-through-flashing-her-breasts attack as a Fatality, though.
7. Brock Samson
Yeah, another Brock on the list. Don’t worry, Venom and the Pokemon guy aren’t #6 and #5.
Warner Bros. has a hold over Cartoon Network, so maybe we could get some kind of Adult Swim character in the mix. At first thought, Metalocalypse seemed fitting, but none of the members of Dethklok are really well known for their fighting ability and I don’t think the world is ready for Charles Foster Offdensen in a fighting game. Then again, I’d fork out the DLC bucks just to see Toki Wartooth beat the final boss and announce, “I dids it! I beats the Mortal Kombats tourniquet! Wowee!”
No, if anyone from Adult Swim could compete in the tournament, it would have to be someone super tough. Someone like Black Dynamite or Brock Samson. Black Dynamite would feel a little off not being in the 70’s, so we’ll give it to the Venture Brothers’ big, bad bodyguard. The guy has made a video game crossover appearance in Poker Night 2 and he’d certainly have no problem shoving his giant knife into Baraka’s throat and coating himself with his Tarkatan blood.
Granted, the Predator is another property that exists outside of Warner Bros.’ grasp, but it’s not like they haven’t used the creatures before. Batman alone has fought the Predators no less than five times. Look up the first time, it was great. Alfred is a total badass in it.
Predator would work well in the Mortal Kombat environment because all the Predators are interchangeable, highly-competent cannon fodder. As long as it’s hunting a worthy prey (of which there would be many here) and making clicky noises, nobody is going to call it a fish out of water.
It all goes full circle, anyway. Cyrax’s self-explosion Fatality in Mortal Kombat 3 was an homage to the Predator’s suicide. Let the original (or a close facsimile) show him how it’s done.
5. The Joker
Ed Boon tweeted that it isn’t likely that we’re going to see a DC hero in the game. Key word here is “hero.” Naturally, you wouldn’t expect to see Batman doing anything too over-the-line, and they certainly aren’t bringing back that Heroic Brutality crap from Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe. Nah. If any DC character is going to make an appearance in this game, it’s going to be Joker…or maybe Lobo.
Back in the days of Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe, they weren’t allowed to go too far with Joker due to a forced teen rating, but DC has gotten an awful lot more violent and unsavory with the character since then. I mean, come on. New 52 Joker and his cut-off face.
I was going to use that for the above image, but it just turns my stomach. You’re telling me that character design can exist and not be allowed in a game where people get shot in the head at point blank range?
4. Ash Williams
We’ve had Freddy and we’re getting Jason, but what about the third crown jewel in the holy horror trinity? Ash from the hardware section would feel right at home in a story full of soul-stealing and demons. I mean, if we can’t get Brock Samson to be in the game, we might as well have his ancestor. Oh yeah, that’s canon.
With Mortal Kombat X being about different fighting styles for each character, Ash would be so perfect. You could choose to play with his metal fist, his chainsaw hand, or just arm him with the Necronomicon. Not to mention the awesome sawed-off shotgun Fatality you’d get in there.
Besides, the last game was about Raiden playing the part of an incompetent time-traveler. Why should he have a monopoly?
3. Max Rockatansky
When the Star Wars characters – most notably, Starkiller the Apprentice – showed up in SoulCalibur IV, it was for the sake of building towards the then-new Star Wars: The Force Unleashed game. Warner Bros. Interactive is releasing a Mad Max game in 2015 via Avalanche Studios. It would make sense that the Australian badass could pop in for a guest appearance. After all, the man knows a thing or two about one-on-one battles where two men enter and one man leaves. That and how Mortal Kombat X‘s Ferra/Torr is a blatant knockoff of Mad Max’s antagonist Master Blaster.
The only problem I can see is figuring out how to integrate him into the story. Is he going to be like Kratos and the DC cast, a man from another reality? That just seems off for someone as grounded as Mad Max. Then again, considering the possible ramifications of the post-rebooted Earthrealm’s timeline, bad shit can go down that might, say, cause something terrible to happen to the wife and son of that world’s Officer Max Rockatansky. We don’t need another hero to protect us from Outworld. We just need the Road Warrior.
2. Juliet Starling
Another Warner Bros. property, Juliet stars in 2012’s Lollipop Chainsaw, which brings a lot of blood and guts, though in a far more off-the-wall way than the Mortal Kombat franchise. The over-sexualized Juliet is a high school student who is also from a family of zombie hunters. Carrying her boyfriend’s severed head on her belt, Juliet saves the world from black magic and rock ‘n’ roll demons. If it wasn’t for her game not really being much of a household name, I’d almost consider her a lock.
It’s not like Mortal Kombat is above including a scantily-clad cheerleader, anyway. Their last game’s big unlockable was an outfit where Mileena wore a couple handfuls of toilet paper. It’s a match made in exploitation heaven.
1. Needles Kane
Obviously, Needles “Sweet Tooth” Kane, poster boy for the Twisted Metal series, would have to be a PlayStation exclusive. While known mainly for driving his hellish ice cream truck, the serial killer has previously stepped out of it to throw down in PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale where he played rival to our old friend Kratos. He even made a guest appearance of sorts in War of the Monsters in the form of Mecha Sweet Tooth. But here? He’s a perfect fit, even more than the Joker when it comes to murderous clowns.
He’d be such a fine fit for the vile, kill-or-be-killed atmosphere of Mortal Kombat, fighting gods and ninjas with nothing more than a massive, rusty knife and a head covered in fire. I can already see his ending, winning the Mortal Kombat tournament, only to wonder in frustration why nobody’s there to grant him a wish.
Who else do you think is ripe to trade blows with Raiden and the rest? Let me know in the comments.