Genkibowl VII, Review
A look into Saints Row: The Third's DLCs starting with the greatest gameshow in Steelport.
Being an avid lover of the Saints Row series, I kept staring off into space in the general direction of the Saints Row: The Third downloadable content, wondering what was good and what was worth the cash to add. In that spirit, I’ve decided to test them all so that you guys don’t need to stare at them as I did, but know unequivocally which ones are worth it, and which ones just don’t cut it, starting with:
***NOTE*** The Saints Row series are all rated “M” for Mature. Obviously, their DLC’s are too.
Any Saints Row 3 player knows by now the fun and danger that comes from going on the game show we all love to hate to love: Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax. For those who somehow avoided the activity and in doing so also missed finishing the storyline (You know who you are, RJ), Professor Genki is a mysterious and eccentric man who dresses in a suit with a tail and a giant cat mask and loves to kill, maim, burn, electrocute and otherwise entertain himself at others’ expense. To that end, he has designed obstacle courses full of mascots (people dressed up as anything from giant Hot Dogs or Saints Flow to Johnny Gat mascots) as well as Hunters (AKA Brutes, usually the gatling-gun-wielding kind), traps consisting of electricity and fire and sometimes mazelike corridors designed to keep you from getting to the safe room, which is at the end.
As part of the original story, Pierce set the main character up as a contestant. This DLC pack adds two spectacularly huge Genki-style levels, a level where (I kid you not) you control a giant ball of yarn and use it to wreak havoc in the streets of Steelport and a crazy couple of escort missions driving around Professor Genki himself. The rewards for these extra missions are not only the usual cash prizes and the fame of winning the Genkibowl. They also include additions to your wardrobe in the form of the Angry Cat Mask (from the Ethical signs), Professor Genki’s car (a Caddy style ride with flamethrowers in all directions) and Professor Genki himself as a homey you can call.
For me, the levels were challenging and the absurdity of the carnage was as high as one would expect for Super Ethical Reality Climax. So for all you Genki lovers out there, it is definitely worth it in my book. And remember that while the chant is “Murder Time, Fun Time!” its only in the game guys. Relax, get a soda, take deep breaths and ignore the guy across the way with the lawn mower at 4:30am that woke you after you stayed up until three cramming for your midterm. Just chill.
Or call Professor Genki.