After the epic episode of last week, I didn’t think they could top it. They didn’t top it—they equaled it, in a zany episode involving a dye beard, Y2K kitty, and a fly red leather jumpsuit. Oh, and Rob Reiner.
The beginning starts off strong, picking up the Jess and Nick morning after, he watching her sleep fondly and checking her pulse to see if she’s alive, she pulling a pretzel out of his bed.
Then Nick sweetly makes breakfast in bed! Granted it’s the worst breakfast in bed ever, like with small children on mother’s day, it’s the effort that counts.
Theeeeeen Jess’s dad aka Rob Reiner shows up, interrupts the delivery of breakfast (which Winston bogarts because its his birthday) and awkwardness gets a new word.
The episode continues its morning after trend with Schmidt and Elizabeth chatting in bed (with a hilarious Schmidt/Elizabeth college flashback). She is GOOD for him. Dare we hope she sticks around?
Picking back up wit Nick and Jess, Jess tells Nick not to tell his dad about them or her dad may make things…bad. Then Jess gets a call about an interview at a real school with real kids! She has to go. Nick and Jess’s dad are forced to hang out. Love it.
Meanwhile, CeCe is having a problem handling all her relatives. Jess assures her all will be fine and then tells Winston to go pick up CeCe’s wedding sari. Does she remember Winston’s birthday? Nope. He does a “It’s my birthday” dance anyways.
Once Jess gets to the school, she realizes that the interview is a substitute session and it’s the class from hell. She tries to teach. It sorta goes well.
Nick and Jess’s father (also named Rob wink wink nudge nudge) bond on the roof with beer, talking about the ladies. Nick tells him about “this girl” who he describes as the opposite of Jess and her name is Yolanda Winston.
Schmidt then screws things up with Elizabeth by not acknowledging her when she shows up at work in the shirt she met him in, which is a Y2K Kitty Kat shirt. Adorbs. Of course, the bitches that work with Schmidt don’t think so, and he screws up, and she cancels on Schmidt to re-accept the date she canceled for him.
Jess tries to escape the class from hell to go to CeCe’s aid as her maid of honor, but is trapped by the weird school principal. At the same time, Winston shows up at CeCe’s with her sari and points out the tattoo on her face. The henna. That wasn’t supposed to get onto her face, but she fell asleep. She looks in the mirror. She screams.
Jess finally escapes and checks in on Rob and Nick, who are “talking about girls/Yolanda”. Jess, on her way to CeCe, detours back to Nick to prevent them from talking about that—then CeCe calls about her face tattoo. She turns back to CeCe’s. She tries to get it off with olive oil and makes it worse. CeCe now has a stained lower half.
Nick tells Rob that he doesn’t want to screw things with “Yolanda” up. Rob tells him “any girl would be lucky to have a guy like you”. Nick tells him Yolanda is Jess. Rob then tries to kill Nick. Nick screams like a girl and runs away.
Sadly, it is impossible for CeCe to get the tattoo dye off. While freaking out Jess spills the beans that she slept with Nick. CeCe, understandably distracted, freaks out about her beard.
Jess rushes from CeCe to Nick and Rob, where Rob lectures Jess on how crappy Nick is as a choice. He says Nick is him, and he’s not good enough for his little girl. It’s emotional. Then Winston walks in with his red leather jumpsuit with his own birthday cake, breaking the moment. Nick walks off. Jess walks off back to school and the class from hell. Winston eats his birthday cake. Rob Reiner criticizes Winston’s weight. Winston drops the cake, then walks off.
Once back at the class, Jess freaks out and gets teacher real. She gets up on the desk and lectures them in her outdoor voice and then goes into a strange monologue about her roommate being good and she can’t date her dad. Then she says life kicks you in the ass and messy parts are the best parts. A kid offers her a cigarette and then hits on her.
Jess doesn’t listen to CeCe and calls her fiancé. He shows up and promises to fix everything. We cut to Elizabeth on her awful date with her creep. Schmidt shows up, in the shirt she got him and asks her to dance. It’s romantic because it’s such bad fashion and Schmidt doesn’t care! He and Elizabeth do an awesome dance to the accordion. It’s epic. They are two weirdos who are clearly made for each other.
After a long, looooong day Jess gets back to her father blowing up his air mattress with his own lungs. She assures her father that he doesn’t have to worry about her and Nick because she can take care of herself. Then promptly inserts his mattress between Nick’s room and Jess’.
Thank god for smartphones. Nick texts Jess and gets her up to the roof and serves her the breakfast he was going to give her this morning. It’s adorable. Schmidt and Elizabeth show up with a telescope and a plan about constellations and back moles. (Black Holes?) Then Winston appears and thinks everything is for his birthday. They all agree (totally Sixteen Candles y’all!).
Oh Winston. You can be in an updated John Hughes movie anytime, and I would totally watch you and enjoy it more than Molly Ringwald. Not that I don’t like Molly Ringwald, but Winston is my man. Gotta support man, gotta support.
Den Of Geek Score: 4 Out Of 5 Stars