Oh we got Troubles, right here in Haven city.
That’s right, season five of Haven is off with a bang and to celebrate I’m apparently going all Weird Al on The Music Man with it — you know you are impressed at the sheer volume of media ephemera ranging about inside my skull, you know you are.
William may be gone from Haven, but that doesn’t mean all the trouble and The Troubles are gone with him. Quite the opposite in fact, Duke is literally bleeding Troubles all over town and let me tell you, there is no B Storyline more entertaining than a trio of evil stuffed monkeys stitching up the mouths and eyes of the town’s locals. In fact, while the title of the season premiere was clever, I’ll be real: I was desperately hoping it would be titled Monkey Troubles.
There was no slow warm-up during this premiere. In an era where TV shows such as Boardwalk Empire think nothing of leaping ahead 7 years, killing off fan favorites with a line of throwaway dialogue, it was refreshing to see Haven pick back up right where it left off: With Mara taking possession of Audrey’s body and getting to the business of bringing William and his “box of goo” back from the otherside.
Of course none of this proved to be as easy as she expected. Which is good or otherwise it would have made for a very dull hour of television. Thankfully this wasn’t the case. Jennifer — still MIA — has been racing against the clock to close to the thin spots that could enable Mara to bring William back. If you are bored and seeking enjoyment, please imagine the actors pretending they are accessing thin spots. Hours of amusement. Mara cast some doubt as to whether or not Jennifer has the abilities to block the passages, which makes for an interesting setup for the season: If she’s not responsible for it, who is?
Poor, poor gormless bullet-collecting Dwight. Seriously, the dude must pen epic love letters to Kevlar daily. I maybe went “aaaawwww” no less than three times when he was on screen. The dude is just trying to do right by his town and he can’t catch a break. He was shot, tased, and lied to by a friend all in the span of 40 minutes. That’s rough stuff. That said, I do like the subtle interpersonal concept this episode put into play between Dwight and Nathan. Other conflicts that take are delicious and take intrapersonal to a whole other level? Audrey clamoring for precedence inside her own body. That said, if today was any indication, Emily Rose might not be 100% up to the task. But it’s early days yet!