Being Human (USA) season 3 episode 12 review: Always A Bridesmaid, Never Alive

This review contains spoilers.

3.11 Always a Bridesmaid, Never Alive

In this week’s episode of Being Human, Josh and Nora get married. There’s also some stuff about Sally dying and a witch, but all you care about is the werewedding, right? No? Okay, fine, we’ll start from the top. 

Today is Josh and Nora’s wedding day and Aidan has not only built them a chuppah and cooked them breakfast, but he also went and got himself ordained online in order to perform their ceremony. Considering how busy he’s been lately between siring Kenny and dating Kat and getting kidnapped and tortured by Liam, it’s kind of impressive he found time to do any one of those wedding-related things, so A+ for effort this week, Aidan. 

Unfortunately, he also left Kat alone in her bed after they slept together, which knocks at least a full letter off Aidan’s overall grade. But, being Kat and therefore nothing if not direct, she demands an explanation. Aidan confesses that he was scared of how serious they were getting and then asks her to be his date to the wedding. Then he calls her his girlfriend in front of Nora and Josh, which predictably leads to Josh making, “D’aww! Aidan’s got a girlfriend!” faces because Josh, somehow despite the life he has lived, is still a romantic at heart. 

Meanwhile, Sally’s still rotting from the inside, so Aidan and Josh offer to go through Donna’s door with her in order to help Sally win the fight. But first things first! Nora has been clothes shopping to help Sally decide what she wants to die in! 

This is why Nora is the best. Also? This song is the best. “Bury me with my best t-shirt/Bury me with my Chucks/Where I am going, I’m gonna need something to wear.” If you didn’t laugh at least once during this sequence then you need to have your funny bone checked because I’m worried you might’ve broken it. 

There’s a lot of waterworks that ring somewhat hollow since we know Sally’s coming right back as a ghost, but I don’t hold it against her since losing your body — even a rotting, decaying body — has to be rough on a person. She’s pretty okay with it once she does die, though, saying that it feels like being her again, and then Aidan literally rips Sally’s heart out of her corpse right there in front of her and maybe it’s just me, but that’s when I would’ve started crying in that situation. 

Sally’s door appears from Donna and the three of them head through it. Josh gets temporarily diverted into the woods with his wolf, which tries to eat him. Aidan gets temporarily diverted into the Department of Bad Accents and Wigs, where his son tries to eat him. I’m sensing a pattern here. Could it be, perhaps, that Donna wants to… I don’t know, eat Sally’s soul? I’m not saying there’s a connection between that and Sally craving human flesh but I’m just saying there’s a theme here. 

Anyway. A wild Ray appears! Josh sends Sally and Aidan off to fight Donna while he takes care of Ray, and honestly, I’m totally on Josh’s side here, I think that’s obvious, but it’s just completely laughable when Josh goes, “Hey, we don’t have to fight,” and Ray rightly responds, “Um, you killed me, so we kinda do?” It’s less funny, though, when Josh says, “I’m sorry,” and Ray says, “DIE.” Luckily, Josh happens to randomly find a silver knife and manages to attack Ray’s wolf with it. Hopefully that’s the last we’ve seen of Ray, since I’ve never been a big fan of his. 

Meanwhile with the witch, Sally screams some Latin and Donna’s true face reveals itself. Turns out, she’s super old. And she already ate Nick and Stevie’s souls and I am sad forever because I really liked those two dudes. 

But it’s Aidan to the rescue as he throws Sally’s heart into the fire. It, in turn, sets Donna on fire, but she pretty much doesn’t care about it and just uses it to set Sally aflame. Sally tells Josh and Aidan she loves him and then explodes, leaving Donna to inhale her. And then somehow Sally does a thing and Donna is gone and Sally wakes up in bed beside her body. 

Everyone is happy, but the day is super-weird, so Josh and Nora decide to hold off on their wedding at least until after the full moon, so that Josh will be able to see Sally at the wedding. That is, until Emily shows up wanting to learn and love and share. Also, she put on a dress which means Josh has to get married right now and this is why I love her. Because to be perfectly honest with y’all, if I put on a dress, someone’s getting hitched. 

And then the wedding happens and it’s lovely. Josh wrote his own vows because of course he did, and if you didn’t tear up at least once during that sequence then fine, I’m an overly emotional fan and I accept the public ridicule that comes with that. It was still touching, though. 

But alas, this is Being Human so of course nothing is quite as happy as we ever want it to be: the candles light up and catch fire for no apparent reason (what?), vampire!Kenny’s face is all deformed for no apparent reason (what?), and Josh and Nora’s honeymoon is interrupted by Liam (WHAT?). There can be no rest for these intrepid roommates, but with only one episode left in the season, it’s time to start resolving some unanswered whats.

Read Kaci’s review of the previous episode, If I Only Had a Raw Brain, here.

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