Being Human (USA) season 3 episode 8 review: Your Body Is A Condemned Wonderland

This review contains spoilers.

3.8 Your Body is a Condemned Wonderland

One of my favorite things in TV is when writers actually manage to stump me and I cannot, no matter how much I think about it, figure out how they’re going to get their characters out of whatever bad situation they’ve written them into. I never love fiction more than when I’m shouting, “What? How?” at it because I am nothing if not that person who sits through horror films yelling at the characters to not open the door. 

This week’s episode of Being Human managed to set that up while also confusing me greatly in the process, so let’s just take it from the beginning. 

Nora is ticked. Beyond ticked. Beyond livid. She’s so angry that there aren’t enough adjectives to describe her current emotional state, and you really can’t blame her. We have the benefit of knowing what really happened; she doesn’t. And her anger is only corroborated when she sees the ghosts of the girls Aidan killed for Henry and they essentially prove Nora’s opinion of him right. And while Josh keeps trying to stick up for Aidan, the girls quickly shoot him down by calling him an, “enabling, codependent assbag,” which basically confirms Nora’s opinion of his relationship with Aidan, too. (Okay, maybe not the assbag part. But seriously, no one can argue with the enabling, codependent part.) And as if the ghost girls weren’t enough, there’s Liam to reinforce the fact that Nora felt maternal about Erin and that Aidan is an awful murderer who killed her baby. 

Aidan, ever the peacemaker (except when he fails spectacularly at peacemaking, which is always) decides it’s best if he breaks things off with Kat before they ever even go on a date. Their special brand of banter is once again at play when Aidan says, “We shouldn’t go out,” and her response is basically, “You’re being ridiculous. I’ll see you tonight, and also sometimes I dress up as a tavern wench for fun! I have lots of corsets!” And look, there is really no way to describe the face Aidan makes except that it’s pretty clear his thought process is, “CORSETS!” complete with capslock and maybe a few extra exclamation marks besides. Dude looks excited, that’s all I’m saying. So naturally, their date is back on before it was ever broken off. 

So Aidan and Kat go on their date, in which they wittily banter about the Revolutionary War and whether or not it was full of thrilling heroics. (Kat mentions one of her ancestors fought in the war. I’m sure that’s not important or anything. I’m sure her ancestor wasn’t the dude Aidan killed when he was first turned. Certainly not.) And then Liam shows up because he’s somehow equipped with an Aidan-specific fun-seeking missile or something. So Aidan sends Kat away and basically hands himself over to be tortured. 

And then I have to wonder why it’s apparently a television rule that all torture scenes must be accompanied by light-hearted oldies music. Have you guys noticed that? I can’t remember the last time I saw someone get tortured to a good old fashioned villain monologue or a Top 40 hit. It’s always love songs from before my parents were born. Who knew torturers had such old-fashioned taste? 

Meanwhile, Kat calls Josh to see if Aidan’s alright since she hasn’t heard from him since their date, so Josh decides it’s time to be a hero and fetches the silver bullets. He arrives too late, though, just in time for Aidan to “confess” to killing Brynn in order to spare Nora from Liam’s wrath. Josh starts firing and Liam injects Aidan with the virus before wolfing out himself. (One must wonder… why not just stake Aidan? Why bother with the virus at all? It’s not like Aidan could’ve fought him off in that condition.) In the ensuing escape, Josh gets scratched by Liam’s wolf. I’m not nearly as sad as I should be, though, because maybe this means that Josh will kill Liam and get cured again. That’s probably unlikely, but a girl can dream and we’ve still got almost half a season to go. 

Meanwhile, Sally is trying to figure out this whole decomposing thing by asking Max about his body preservation techniques and stealing his supplies. When he catches her, she finally admits that she used to be a ghost and now she’s the living dead, to which Max replies, “Oh, I know all about mental illness.” She finally shows him where she’s decomposing and he freaks out (understandable) and leaves. 

Additionally freaking out is Nick, who is also decomposing… until he eats a stray cat and finds that he’s all better. I’m one of those people who still loves zombies, even though they’re so over done right now, so I’m beyond excited about this development, especially given Sally sitting there with a mouthful of raw meat at the end of the episode. 

Elsewhere in the episode, Josh finally proposed to Nora and she said yes. Also, Sally referred to Aidan’s ghosts as “human maxi pads” and I laughed so hard that I had to pause the TV. Actually, I laughed pretty hard when I saw the title of this episode, too, so props to the writers for both of those laughs this week. 

I’ll admit that this episode dragged a little for me (the conflict between Aidan and Nora is frustrating in a way that reminds me of my feelings towards the conflict between Rick and Shane on season two of The Walking Dead) but then on the other hand, Josh is a werewolf again and Sally’s a certifiable zombie so I honestly can’t complain too much. 

Plus, I just genuinely don’t know how they’re going to deal with Aidan being infected (and with the virus apparently spreading pretty quickly), Sally needing the flesh of the living, and Josh being cursed again after all he did to cure himself last time. I also don’t understand how Aidan didn’t get infected when he drank the blood Erin tainted, but did get infected thanks to Liam. It’s a corner with no escape that I can see, so next Monday can’t come quickly enough.

Read Kaci’s review of the previous episode, One is Silver and the Other Pagan, here.

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