7 TV shows with ‘wolf’ in the title that don’t feature a single wolf…until now

These 7 TV shows were making false wolf-related promises. With the help of MS Paint and a lack of journalistic dignity, we fixed that…

Den Of Geek has no truck with the figurative. We cannot sanction its buffoonery. That is to say, if a TV show wants to use the word ‘wolf’ in its title, it had better feature a wolf.

It’s not as though it’s hard. A number of shows manage to deliver on their wolf-related promises. Teen Wolf. Wolfblood. Wolf’s Rain. Wolf Lake. She-Wolf Of London… they’re packed to the rafters with lupine glory. The shows that aren’t but profess to be in their titles need to take a long, hard look at themselves. Whoever they’re trying to impress with their wolflessness, it isn’t working.

That’s where we come in. Wolf Hall, Wolf Creek, Raised By Wolves, Airwolf, Wolf, A Nero Wolfe Mystery and Cry Wolfe, you’ve been fixed and you are welcome.

Wolf Hall

Candle-lit political machinations and poised character portraits are all very well, but even Bafta would admit that a scene of Thomas Cromwell pugil stick fighting Wolf from Gladiators in Anne Boleyn’s bedchamber would have taken BBC Two’s Wolf Hall to the next level.

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Wolf Creek

What’s that? Nobody can defeat outback serial killer Mick Taylor? Just wait until he meets his unitard-wearing match in Wolf from Gladiators. Bonza.

 

A Nero Wolfe Mystery

We don’t know what this show’s about but it couldn’t be clearer that Wolf from Gladiators in a bandana is what it’s missing.

 

Raised By Wolves

Tough, resourceful, with a gaze of steel and a complete combination spanner set, Della’s exactly the kind of woman to light a fire in the loins of a wolf like Wolf from Gladiators, the lucky so and so.

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Cry Wolfe

Watch out Dog the Bounty Hunter, there’s a new canine in true crime town. And he’s howling mad with adulterers and petty fraudsters. Howling. Like how a wolf howls.

 

Airwolf

If The Firm was really serious about recovering its supersonic helicopter from Stringfellow Hawke, they’d have brought in the only man for the job: that’s right, Herr Wolf.

 

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Wolf

What framed-cop-turned-PI Tony Wolf needed in short-lived crime drama Wolf was an investigatory sidekick. Enter Wolf from Gladiators. Oh, it looks as though he already has.