The Bruce Willis ready reckoner

The long awaited arrival of Mr Willis into the Den Of Geek ready reckoner chair. Yippee-ky-ay....

Die Hard: the finest action film on the planet?

I bloody love Bruce Willis I do. He’s a genre-spanner, lending his hand to action, comedy, er, action-comedy, sci-fi and suspense. He also made my favourite film of all time. Even I have to admit though, it’s not all been a bed of roses for Bruno…

Blind Date

3 out of 5

Bruce back when he was young and charming.

Die Hard

5 out of 5

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Words cannot express how much I love this film. Flawless. Absolutely flawless.

Look Who’s Talking

3 out of 5

Actually quite a funny film, although it hasn’t aged well

Die Hard 2

4 out of 5

Bye bye Hans. Hello Colonel Stuart. Guns, explosions and the immortal line, “HOLLY! There’s your fucking landing light!” Genius.

Look Who’s Talking Too

1 out of 5

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Sweet Georgia Brown.

The Bonfire of the Vanities

1 out of 5

Hmm. The start of many dubious choices by Bruno

Hudson Hawk

2 out of 5
Not as bad as people say it is, but then not that great either

The Last Boy Scout

5 out of 5
How utterly ace is this film? Forget True Romance, this is Tony Scott’s masterpiece

Death Becomes Her

1 out of 5

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And the brain cells of anyone watching. Dire

Striking Distance

2 out of 5

One of Willis’s distinctly average thrillers. Most notable for making me want to pee all the way through it.

Pulp Fiction

3 out of 5

Overrated film perhaps, but Willis has the best role.

Color of Night

1 out of 5

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Bruce does soft porn. Bad, bad film. She’s pretty fit though.

Die Hard: With A Vengeance

3 out of 5

Worst of the four, but the interplay between Sam Jackson and Willis is worth watching. Jeremy Irons makes a play for the least scary villain ever portrayed on film.

Twelve Monkeys

4 out of 5

Great film for all concerned.

Last Man Standing

5 out of 5

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Probably his best work other than Die Hard. A gem of a movie and one I can (and have) watch again and again.

The Fifth Element

4 out of 5

Continuing a purple patch of output, another great performance in another eminently watchable flick.

The Jackal

1 out of 5

And the purple patch comes to an end as silly get-ups and ridiculous accents do not a thriller make

Mercury Rising

2 out of 5

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Average.

Armageddon

1 out of 5

A film I watched just before breaking up with my then girlfriend. An unhappy experience for reasons other than just that though, not least the fright of my life at seeing Liv Tyler’s huge hand on that monitor. Overlong and frankly dull for large patches.

The Siege

2 out of 5

Controversial at the time, a fairly average film with fairly average performances.

The Sixth Sense

3 out of 5

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Doesn’t stand up so well with repeat viewing but that first viewing was so good.

The Story of Us

1 out of 5

I should love it as it also stars Michelle Pfeiffer, a woman with whom I have a deep crush upon. I don’t however. Because it’s poo.

Unbreakable

4 out of 5

M Night Shyamalan’s best film to date.

Bandits

3 out of 5

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A nice little film that I don’t think got the audience it deserved.

Hart’s War

2 out of 5

Didn’t like it much.

Tears of the Sun

2 out of 5

Ditto.

Hostage

2 out of 5

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Not as good as I thought it would be

Sin City

3 out of 5

Above average film, but even I have to admit Bruce was miscast. He’s the worst thing in it.

Die Hard 4

4 out of 5

Apart from the last 20 minutes (surfing on a plane? Really?) my second favourite of the series.

Not seenIn Country (Me neither – Simon)Mortal Thoughts (Not bad, three stars – Simon)Breakfast of Champions (Dreadful – Simon)The Whole Nine Yards (Dreadful – Simon)The Whole Ten Yards (Dreadful – Simon)16 Blocks (Not bad, perfectly serviceable action flick – Simon)Perfect Stranger (Didn’t look great, did it? – Simon)

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