Ah, if only we had a time machine. Just think of all the classic movie moments we could visit and experience with our own eyes. In celebration, then, of the incoming UK release of Hot Tub Time Machine, we’ve thus put together our dream ten 80s movie moments we’d love to time travel back to…
A Soviet Boxing Ring (End of Rocky IV)
We don’t condone violence here at Den Of Geek but there is something so utterly triumphant about Rocky IV that flies in the face of our deep boredom at the pugilistic sport of boxing. Watch a typical match these days and you’re met with a lot of eye-balling, hugging and, usually, two or three rounds before someone lands the sucker punch.
How brilliant is it, then, that Rocky IV says yah-boo to all that and throws all sense and reason out of the window by providing the audience with fifteen rounds of the most brutal, the most thrilling, and the most ridiculous fighting that’s ever been seen anywhere on this planet, or any other, for that matter?.
Rocky sticks out his chin, begging for it to be slapped and Drago duly obliges. Then, Drago feels the pain and good old Rock just keeps on fighting away and then, in the dying moments, Rocky does the unbelievable. He turns round a deeply anti-American crowd to his way of thinking. If he can change, heck we all can change.
We’d be hugging all comers to either side and crying into our shirts all the way home after this fight, faith in the human condition once more restored.
If you want to know our exact seating position, we’d like to be near the dreadful Gorbachev impersonator, but we’d settle for anywhere near Adrian to keep her company through the ups and downs of the bout.
The Enchantment Under The Sea Dance (Back To The Future)
A strange one to get our heads around, this one: an 80s movie but a scene set in the 50s.
Anyway, our reasons for wanting to be here are several. Firstly, we’d just have to cast our eyes on the genius of Michael J Fox, the coolest kid in town, up on stage. Secondly, the reinvention of Rock and Roll with a performance that will stand up there with the finest concerts we’ve ever been to. Thirdly, how about the chance to shake our money-maker with the guys and gals of a truly wonderful era.
A calm, relaxing dance is just what the Doctor ordered after the drama in Russia and to steady us for what’s to come.
Part Of Hans Gruber’s Crew In The Nakatomi Building (Die Hard)
Make no mistake, if you’re going to be stuck in that building on Christmas Eve and you’re not John McClane, you really don’t want to be one of the hostages. Goodness knows Christmas is stressful enough without having to deal with a bunch of hoodlums waving assault weapons in your face. Far better, then, to be one of said hoodlums and bask in the power a gun apparently gives you.
Timing is all important on this one. Naturally, the later into the night we go, our chances of survival greatly diminish.
For our money, we’d want to stick as close to Hans as possible (he’s a pretty loyal guy for a crim), and our chosen moment would certainly not be his grilling of Harry Ellis (too creepy for us).
Perhaps that first altercation between Gruber and the hostages when he lays down some ground rules holding his little black book. Menacing, powerful and hanging out with our mates. Sounds like a typical Christmas to us.
New York City, At Night, With A Video Camera (Ghostbusters)
There aren’t many times you can say with conviction that you’ve just witnessed a once in a lifetime event but the chance to see a huge Stay Puff Marshmallow Man would be too much for us to turn down. We wouldn’t hang around for very long, of course – destruction lies in its wake – but we’d want to be there just long enough to take some footage of the big fella before the Ghostbusters do their stuff.
Maybe we’d stick around to scoop up a sweet snack afterwards too. Then, it’s time to celebrate.
Downtown Chicago (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)
We love a good parade route. The floats, the smiling faces, the choreography, it’s a markedly American event and one we’re rather jealous of.
They don’t come much better than the one in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and, naturally, we’d want to be up close to Ferris’ float, watching the little scamp tear up the town in his own unique way. This would also give us a chance to spy on Mia Sara, quite possibly the most beautiful creature ever created.
But enough of that, it’s a party we’re here for and, as Twist And Shout blares out over the radio, we’d be shaking on down with the best of them. Have you seen us dancing? You know, really dancing?
In A Forest In Guatemala (Predator)
Stick with us on this one. While transporting into a godforsaken part of the planet with a faceless enemy and lots of burly, sweaty men might not seem like a great idea at first glance, there is one particular moment in Predator that we would want to stick around for. This does, however, rely on the Predator not spotting we’re around. Here’s hoping, eh.
Dutch Schaefer is one bad-ass soldier and, while his team have been decapitated in all manner of increasingly nasty ways, Dutch refuses to die quietly. So, he goes all commando on the creature, camouflaging himself and doing that wild-eyed thing only Arnie can do.
They face off, Dutch wins and, just as he’s chatting to the Predator, the blooming thing only goes and sets off a ticking timebomb. It’s at this point we’d like to leave, please. Now
The All Valley Karate Tournament (The Karate Kid)
More fighting, only this time it’s of a far more sedate and structured kind. We’d want a ringside seat for this one as there’s a blink-or-you’ll-miss-it moment that’s about to happen that no-one here is going to believe.
First of all, we’d want to be there for the semi-final bout just to see the sneaky depths nasty Kreese is prepared to go to to win. A mean attack to the knee later and we’d be wincing with the rest of the crowd.
What is Daniel going to do now? Is he going to have to forfeit? I don’t think so, Kreese-y boy.
The final will, of course, go down in history as delivering the craziest move ever seen in a dojo as the Crane Kick is invented, Johnny goes down (not managing to ‘put him in a body bag’ after all), and we’d be the first to pat Miyagi on the back for achieving the unachievable. He’s just made Ralph Macchio look über-tough. Well done, sir.
In A New York Diner (When Harry Met Sally)
Just to tell Sally to do herself a favour and stop embarrassing herself. It is a public place, after all.
In The Airport (Airplane!)
We’re fortunate that Airplane! was made at the start of the decade or else we would have never been able to have this opportunity to laugh our asses off before we took our final time travel trip.
While the thought of being on the plane itself is highly appealing and we did dabble with the idea of hanging out in the tower to try to stop McCroskey from sniffing glue, it’s the airport we’d really want to be.
For here is the place where the film soars to a whole new level when Captain Rex Kramer takes on all-comers in his bid to get to the terminal. Buddhists, Christians, Scientologists, no-one’s safe. And it’s quite, quite brilliant.
Among The Forests Of Endor (Return Of The Jedi)
Everyone loves a happy ending and, boy, have these chaps deserved it.
Hugs and kisses all round as Chewy, Han, Lando, Wedge and the rest have an almighty knees-up. Ok, so it might look a little stilted on screen. We’d be telling Luke to get over himself for a start, but those Ewoks know how to throw a party and we want to go out with a bang.
So, we’re finishing up here, telling jokes with R2-D2, swapping anecdotes with C3P0, necking shots with Lando and trying to get off with Leia.
Oh, yes, this is going to be a party to remember.
Add your own in the comments below!
Hot Tub Time Machine is released in the UK on 7th May.