South Park: Goth Kids 3: Dawn of the Posers, Review

Goth, Emo, Vamp. It's all the same to us and it's time they leave South Park for good.

Matt Stone and Trey Parker have been playing with fire for years.

They have fought with Comedy Central over issues of censorship, they have cursed more times in a half hour than any show in history and they have used satire to (figuratively) spit in the face of those who hold their heads up a little too high. But probably least egregiously, they make their episodes mere days, sometimes cutting it within hours, before it is set to air. 

After 17 seasons it finally became an issue last week when a power failure at South Park Studios resulted in the postponement of “Goth Kids 3: Dawn of the Posers.” The way I see it, darkness falling over South Park Studios was a sign from the Gods telling Matt and Trey to abandon the episode all together.

South Park usually struggles to follow up its landmark episodes, and two weeks ago I thought they hit big with “World War Zimmerman.” Instead of realizing the tired Emo/Goth storyline is about six years past its expiration date, South Park drudged on to complete its most uninspired episode of the young season. 

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It seemed as though overbearing parents, the classic object of scorn for Goth kids, was the issue at hand. Quickly, the episode turned into a messy battle between good and evil, Goth and Emo kids, with some Vampire kids, or “Vamps,” thrown into the depressing mix.

Distinguishing who is Goth/Emo/Vamp is a miserable problem that burning down your local Hot Topic won’t fix. Goths say that Emo kids are vile, horrible, posers. Goths think the world is fucked up. Emos are cynical, a product of their own desolation. Basically Emo kids can suck Goth balls. There’s not much to this petty argument and that’s the entire point of the episode. South Park spends most of its time trying to convey this insignificant point and not enough time finding a funnier way to chronicle the trials of these troubled kids. Among the missed opportunities: Henrietta is sent to what is essentially a Butters Bi-Curious type of camp for Goth kids and Matt and Trey failed to expand on that.

The lone bright spot was the great Edgar Allen Poe, indeed a ghost worth summoning. Poe is, by all accounts, the greatest non-conformist of all time. He is the ultimate Goth kid. Poe is welcome back at any point. For now, I think it’s best that South Park exiles the Goth kids, Emos and Vamps to the loading docks where they are free to smoke their cigarettes in peace. 

Prediction for Next Week: 

The boys got the week off, well two weeks off, so I expect them to return in grand fashion with something big. In the teaser sneak peak, Ike is finally hitting puberty. For some, with puberty comes heavy drug use, and with heavy drug use means the return of Towlie. After this Goth kids episode, I think we can all use a towel. 

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1 out of 5