Knight Rider episode 1 review

Back in February we covered the Knight Rider pilot, which we slammed for a litany of failures. The biggest issues with this particular TV resurrection were that they’d reproduced the original show completely, including the cringingly bad script and phoned in performances.

So given the critical mauling that I and others gave it, what does the running show deliver that’s different? A few things, but what really staggered me was that that they’ve been able to nimbly limbo under the incredibly low bar that the pilot set, as the running show is actually worse.

Between then and now, Hoff replacement Justin Bruening hasn’t actually learned to act, but that’s not a big surprise. Yet I was frankly shocked how much of a clunker a script they cobbled together for this show. It makes some of this years other new shows seem like they’ve been written by channeling Ernest Hemingway.

I’ll go as far to say that this is actually worse than a really bad Hoff era episode, and that’s saying something. There’s an opening scene where Mike Traceur and Sarah Graiman are trapped inside KITT who’s on fire after been struck by a missile. Naturally, they’re forced to take their clothes off. I’d explain more, but it’s moronic…

And then we have some of the ‘supporting’ roles, sheesh. I thought characters that flaccid and two dimensional had disappeared along with The Love Boat, but alas I was wrong as we’re knee deep in them here.

One of my complaints they did address somewhat, which was that nothing KITT did was actually very special these days. So now he transforms, like we’ve never seen that before. The issue of how you can be inside a transforming vehicle and not be killed is conveniently avoided, as are any of the logical limitations of this type of technology.

What’s also added is a story arc about Mike, lost memories and erased identities that’s dumber than a bag of spanners, but let’s not go there.

This was 45 minutes of my life I’ll never get back, which I’ll add to the time I spent watching the pilot. They’ve concocted a TV show here from the repressed memories of 80s TV that most 7 year olds will consider ‘lowbrow’.

If people watch this crap, then they’ll deserve the aneurism it will undoubtedly bring on through repeat exposure. Myself, I’ll be passing on the rest of Knight Rider purely from a self preservation standpoint. And that I’d rather spend time watching enjoyable TV.