Braun Strowman is going to wrestle The Bar for the Raw Tag Team Titles at WrestleMania 34 on April 8, and in all likelihood, he’s going to win both belts by himself.
That’s not a terrible idea, but is there anything better out there for him to be doing?
I think so.
Here are my top-5 things Braun Strowman should be doing at WrestleMania instead of wrestling for the Raw Tag Team Titles:
1. Wrestling for the World Title
Braun Strowman should be in the main event of WrestleMania 34, he should be wrestling Brock Lesnar and he should be winning the Universal Title to cap off the biggest show of the year.
WWE tried to make Strowman a heel. They tried really hard. The problem is, he’s cool. His path of destruction is really cool. Fans, especially older fans, dig that. Listen to the reaction when Strowman comes to the arena, and he’s only outdone by Daniel Bryan and maybe Brock Lesnar (who gets the reaction more out of being a special appearance).
Strowman vs. Lesnar should have been protected. They should have never touched until this point, and then you would have a collision that every wrestling fan on the planet would be salivating for. Besides that, it gets you out of a really bad Reigns vs. Lesnar match, that’s prone to be a downer.
2. Tagging with Ronda Rousey vs. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon
There are problems with this scenario — mainly making Rousey look very short compared to her tag team partner — but this at least puts Strowman in a main-event level position on the show. That’s going to be a feature match with photos distributed to just about every media outlet on the planet, and this would have been a nice opportunity to get Strowman some of that mainstream rub.
It’s not that Kurt Angle doesn’t make sense, but Rousey bringing out Strowman adds another element to this feud and gives Strowman a better spot on the card.
3. Beating the Undertaker in a retirement match
There are problems with this scenario as well … first, do you really want Undertaker losing two WrestleMania matches in a row? But if this is his last match — and at this point, we’re getting close to that — it’s far better for Strowman to get the rub of a win over Undertaker at WrestleMania than it is for Cena to get that win.
For what it’s worth, by the way, I’m expecting Undertaker to beat Cena.
But again, this at least puts Strowman in a more featured match on the card, and in my scenario, gives him a much bigger win than beating the Bar in a handicap match. It’s going to be cool to see him carrying around the tag team titles by himself, don’t get me wrong, but that feels like undercard stuff. Unless they use this to push the Raw Tag Titles into the main event, it’s a waste of time.
4. Give Strowman a legacy star to squash
Pick your guy. Goldberg? Rey Mysterio? This would be a great opportunity for Strowman to go old school. Remember two years ago, when he was squashing enhancement talent in one minute or less? Let’s do that again! Only this time, let’s do it against a future Hall of Famer.
It would probably be tough to get someone to agree to that, which I get, but that’s something a lot of money can solve (and WWE has plenty of it). You’re telling me Goldberg wouldn’t take $500,000 to put over Braun Strowman in 60 seconds?
5. Have him squash the Andre the Giant Battle Royal
Admittedly, if all Strowman was booked for what a battle royal appearance at WrestleMania, I’d be upset right now. But, there’s a way to book it to make him look like a badass.
Strowman has squashed enhancement talent, but no one has ever squashed a battle royal. You have Strowman do that here. He eliminates EVERYONE. That’s the only way this works. The bell rings, Strowman eliminates every person in the ring in under two minutes. He goes one-by-one tossing dudes over the top rope like sack of potatoes.
When the match is over, you have Strowman in the ring alone, demanding a title shot, and a heap of bodies on the outside that look like they were just in a car wreck.