Comics of the Apes! The 25 Greatest Primates in Comics

DISCLAIMER: Yes, we realize that not all of these are apes. Cut us some slack and make our lives easier, please.

Y’know what’s awesome? Monkeys. Y’know what’s even more awesome? Monkeys in comics. Since the dawn of the Golden Age, apes, gorillas, and simians of all shapes and sizes have been a major part of comic history. In the Silver Age, the editors at DC even believed that covers featuring apes spiked sales, so in a way, monkeys were the multipart crossover event gimmick of their day.

Many primates have swung through comic history, and with Dawn of the Planet of the Apes right around the corner, monkeys are cooler than ever, making it  time to take a look at some of the greatest, the strangest, and the craziest monkeys in the great history of the comic book medium. No, we haven’t gone bananas, we are dedicated to bringing you a history of the super simians of the medium, so get ready for a chest pounding good time.

We swear, we’ll try to keep the poop flinging jokes to a minimum.

25. Ape X

First Ape-earance: Squadron Supreme #5 (1985)Created by Mark Gruenwald and Bob Hall

Ape X was a former villain in Marvel’s Squadron Supreme universe. If you have never read the 1985-1986 Squadron Supreme mini-series by the late, great Mark Gruenwald and artist Bob Hall…what the heck are you waiting for? In many ways it’s Marvel’s version of Watchmen without the cussin’.

Anyway, before her trainer died, Ape X was an experiment in enhanced intelligence that made her into a genius level thinker. She turned to crime before she became one of the first villains to fall victim to the mind alteration process that forcefully reformed all the villains in the Squadron Supreme universe into heroic drones devoid of chaotic thoughts. Due to her reprogramming, after witnessing the betrayal of her teammate Moonglow, Ape X was unable to turn against her teammate, so the poor monkey’s brain snapped and she went into a coma.

Ape X used a tank treaded chair thingie to move around because she had her legs and lower torso amputated. So she was a brainwashed super ape that went nuts and was also a double amputee. Jeez, I thought this was supposed to be a light and breezy article. What a tragic freakin’ character.

Wait…Ape X. Apex! I GET IT NOW!!! Monkey puns make everything better.

24. Djuba

Djuba was the faithful simian companion of the hero known as B’Wana Beast. Yes, Batman had Robin, Green Arrow had Speedy, Flash had Kid Flash, but B’Wana Beast had the help of a loyal ape. Djuba fought side by side with B’Wana Beast in both of the jungle hero’s appearances in Showcase mostly because the Beast needed something to direct expository dialogue towards.

Djuba makes our list because he had the honor of playing second banana to one of the strangest heroes of the Silver Age, a hero that could take two animals and become a chimera of both the animals’ special abilities. So B’Wana Beast could become a human shark mosquito or a man rhino duck, and loyal Djuba had the honor of witnessing it all.

23. The Mod Gorilla Boss

Go ahead, track yourself down a copy of Strange Adventures #201 and try not to read the Mod Gorilla Boss’s dialogue as Edward G. Robinson, we dare you. Sadly, The Mod Gorilla Boss only appeared once, taking on Animal Man in the monkey Mod’s first and only 1967 appearance. How Grant Morrison didn’t use the Mod Gorilla Boss in his run on Animal Man is anyone’s guess, but one has to assume that any shared superhero universe has room for a primate crime lord in a zoot suit.

Turns out, The Mod Gorilla Boss was just a regular skell who used a secret formula to transform himself into a gorilla and created monkey mayhem until Animal Man kicked his butt. Being a crime boss is one thing, being a gorilla boss is another thing, but being a Mod Gorilla Boss? Now that’s something special right there.

22. The Gorilla Wonders of the Diamond

First Ape-earance: Brave and the Bold #49 (1963)Created by Gardner Fox and Carmine Infantino

Remember the Gas House Gorillas from Bugs Bunny? This is like that…except it’s nothing like that. No one can claim that DC wasn’t a company bursting with the strange and wonderful in the early ’60s. When scientist John Emerson gives three apes a secret formula, the gorillas evolved and gained the ability to talk, invent, and soon become enamored with baseball.

So, just to be clear, they are three semi-evolved animals who took a mysterious drug and become really good at baseball. Wow, Gardner Fox and Carmine Infantino wrote the Alex Rodriguez story decades before the shamed Yankee pariah was born. All that aside, ‘early 60s DC really was awesomely insane.

21. Don Uggie Apelino

First Ape-earance: 2000 AD #39 (1977)Created by John Wagner and Mike McMahon

Other than being an enemy of the great Judge Dredd, Don Uggie Apelino has the distinction of being the primate on the list whose name is the most fun to say out loud. Try it, Don Uggie Apelino. Don Uggie Apelino. It just makes the palate happy.

Listen, you’ve gotta be a badass to run a gang in Mega-City One which makes Don Uggie Apelino one of the baddest bananas in the bunch. Don Uggie Apelino popped up a few times over the course of Dredd history, even sharing the time in the Judge Dredd/Mars Attacks crossover which sounds like a book I have to purchase right now. In his early appearances, Don Uggie Apelino was a recurring thorn in Dredd’s side until the baddest Judge in Mega City showed the ape boss that even for simians “He is the Law.” Poor wittle monkey.

20. The Gorilla Boss of Gotham City

First Ape-earance: Batman #75 (1953)Created by David Vern Reed and Bob Kane

When George “Boss” Dyke was executed in the gas chamber, his hired guns retrieved his body and brought it to a disgraced scientist who placed Dyke’s brain into the body of a giant gorilla. So yeah, the Gorilla Boss pretty much is exactly what his name would suggest, a gorilla mob boss. Of course, making his debut in 1953, Dyke didn’t do anything horrifically violent, but imagine if he debuted now. A meth running monkey? Breaking Bobo? Breaking Bananas?

For some reason, the Gorilla Boss never really caught on and only returned once during the Bronze Age (where Sinestro steals the Boss’s cerebellum and expands it to the size of a planet. Wait, what?), but did have the distinction of being one of Grodd’s men in the animated Brave and the Bold episode “Gorillas in our Midst.” There are tons of crime bosses in comics, but only one primate Mafioso has almost destroyed Batman and ruled the crime filled streets of Gotham City, this cigar chomping ape of yesteryear, Gorilla Boss!

19. Hit-Monkey

First Ape-earance: Hit-Monkey #1 (2010)Created by Daniel Way and Dalibor Taljic

Hit-Monkey was meant to be Marvel’s next big thing, something for the Deadpool crowd to sink their chaos craving teeth into, and while this red-faced macaque never reached the heights of Wade Wilson (in fact, he arrived pretty stillborn as far as fan interest was concerned) he was still an interesting bit of nutty Marvel history.

The best aspect of Hit-Monkey is that the stories he appears in are written in such a serious style it enhances the ludicrousness of the concept. Imagine a Sam Peckinpah film, but with a macaque and there you go. Hit-Monkey rarely appears anywhere these days but Marvel/Disney are about to make a gazillion dollars on both Big Hero Six and a space raccoon so clearly anything is possible for any ridiculous character.

18. The Mandrill

First Ape-earance: Shanna the She-Devil #4 (1973)Created by Carole Seuling and Ross Andru

So Jerome Beechman was a mutant born after his parents were exposed to radiation. He had a freakish appearance and was rejected by his parents. He wandered lost and alone until he met a woman named Nekra who was also a victim of the same radiation exposure. Sounds like a typical comic book origin so far except for the fact that Beechman was mutated into a giant red ass mandrill who could use his mutated pheromones to enslave women and Nekra now looked and acted like a vampire.

Basically, the Mandrill is a humanoid monkey that sweats roofies. Wonderful. The Mandrill is a seasoned misogynist and polygamist who has married a number of his slaves at the same time thus making him the most reprehensible villain in the Marvel Universe, but hey, big monkey, so he makes our list. Mandrill has taken on the Avengers, the Thing, Daredevil, and Shanna the She-Devil among others, and grows more yucky by the appearance.

17. Gorilla Man

First Ape-earance: Men’s Adventures #26 (1954)Created by Robert Q. Sale

Yeah, you better believe a character named Gorilla Man first appeared in a comic called Men’s Adventures. Kenneth Hale was a soldier of fortune, a thrill seeker who learned of a legend that if a man kills the mythical Gorilla Man, that man will achieve immortality. So Ken did what any imperialistic white person with a gun would do in the ’50s, he hunted down the legendary Gorilla Man.

When Ken found it, he had a change of heart and killed the mythic beast in self defense but was still cursed with becoming the new immortal human gorilla. The new Gorilla Man went on to become an ally of the X-Men, a SHIELD agent, and a founding member of the most shamefully overlooked super-team of the last few decades, the Agents of ATLAS. Gorilla Man is still kicking butt somewhere in the Marvel Universe and let us pray that someday soon Disney becomes aware they own a character named Gorilla Man. What a marketing goldmine.

16. Gleek

First Ape-earance: The All-New Super Friends Hour (September 10, 1977)Created by Hanna-Barbera

TV star Gleek also appeared in DC’s Super Friends comics, so he counts. Many DC fans cut their teeth on the animated Super Friends and never looked back, so to a large percentage of comic fans ages 35-45, a purple space monkey chilling with the world’s greatest super-heroes is the norm. Gleek is a caped monkey who was the pet of the Wonder Twins. The purple primate’s only purpose seemed to be to get into trouble to teach kids a lesson, provide a zinger so all the Super Friends could laugh at him at the end of an episode, and carry around male Wonder Twin Zan when he turned into a bucket of water.

He might seem childish and silly by today’s standards but listen, to millions of Super Friends fans, the Justice League was not complete without this purple little scamp. He was the hairy hero on TV saving kids from mountain lions and teaching them not to pet stray dogs…not Black Canary, Martian Manhunter, Red Tornado, or any member of the Justice Society. Gleek probably appeared in more episodes of Super Friends than Flash or Green Lantern. Let that sink in for a second. So take that haters, this purple alien bucket carrier has cred.

15. Cy-Gor

First Ape-earance: Spawn #38 (1995)Created by Todd McFarlane and Tony Daniel

Michael Konieczni was an old pal of Al Simmons who tried to blow the whistle on the shadowy government types that had Simmons killed. As a result, said shadowy government types captured Konieczni and placed his brain into the body of a cybernetic gorilla, which really didn’t show much forward thinking skills because the newly created Cy-Gor went on a rampage killing all he blamed for his predicament. Cy-Gor also blamed Simmons (now Spawn) and a rivalry was born. Of all the apes on our list, Cy-Gor has the distinction of being the monkey that has the most kickass action figure. Cy-Gor has appeared many times in Spawn and even carried his own series for a bit.

14. Sam Simeon

First Ape-earance: Showcase #77 (1968)Created by E. Nelson Bridwell and Bob Oksner

Sam Simeon was one half of the O’Day and Simeon Detective Agency, a most unique crime busting duo. Angel was a ditzy blond that Goldie Hawn really should have played at some point if there was any justice in this wretched world, and Sam Simeon was her artistic brainy partner who also happened to be an incredibly strong gorilla.

The comic they were featured in, Angel & the Ape, was one of DC’s most legitimately funny books of the late ’60s lasting one Showcase appearance and seven issues of a solo series that should be bought instantly at your next convention. The detective duo was revived twice, most memorably in a 1991 mini-series by Phil Foglio. The concept remains strong to this day and DC should really consider a revival of this greatly missed left-of-center conceptually strong series.

13. Solovar

First Ape-earance: The Flash #106 (1959)Created by John Broome and Carmine Infantino

The last thing we want to do by focusing on Grodd so high on our ape countdown (we’ll get to him in a minute) is to convince people that Gorilla City, an advanced city hidden in the heart of Africa and populated by magnanimous and intelligent talking gorillas, is a vile place. There are many altruistic apes living in Gorilla City and we present the finest example of the Gorilla way of life, Solovar, king of the intelligent gorillas of Gorilla City, ally to the Flash, and the ape that has successful kept his people safe from the outside world and from the advances of Grodd.

He’s another example of a monkey in a cape, which as we covered, is automatically awesome. Solovar is like the Teddy Roosevelt of apes, a great leader of monkeys who inspires greatness in his people. So we honor Solovar, the most important monkey in the barrel that is Gorilla City.

12. Konga

First Comic Book Ape-earance: Konga #1 (1960)by Joe Gill, Steve Ditko, Dick Giordano, and Rocco Mastroserio

Lots of great apes on this list, but Konga was the only monkey drawn by the legendary Steve Ditko. That’s right, before Mr. Ditko created a certain web-slinger he worked on Konga for Charlton Comics. Konga was an ongoing series based on the British film of the same name, a wonder of schlock starring the Alfred Pennyworth to Michael Keaton’s Batman, Michael Gough. Gough plays Charles Decker, an inventor who loses his marbles after he creates a formula that transforms a normal sized chimp into a towering gorilla. Now how a formula changes a chimp into a gorilla is anyone’s guess, but after the chimp becomes embiggened, Decker sends Konga to kill all his enemies in London.

Konga is Britain’s answer to King Kong, and somehow, Charlton mined the thin premise and actually turned out a really cool comic for 27 issues. It certainly is pretty to look at with Ditko at the top of his game along with some rather innovative storytelling that makes Konga an overlooked gem in monkeydom.

11. The Planet of the Apes

First Ape-earance: Planet of the Apes #1 (B&W magazine, 1974)by Gerry Conway, Doug Moench, and Mike Ploog

Yes, the legendary simians of The Planet of the Apes made film history, but they also starred in one of the most successful comic to film adaptations of all time. So successful that it eventually paved the way for Marvel to publish Star Wars. Both Marvel’s black and white magazine, Planet of the Apes, and their color feature, Adventures on the Planet of the Apes, carried Cornelius, Zira, and Dr. Zaius away from the movie screen and onto the newsstands.

Both publications featured gorgeous adaptations of the Apes films, often with senses shattering Mike Ploog artwork, but also featured original stories that took place in locales on Ape Earth that fans didn’t get to witness in the films. If you ever dreamed of seeing ape versions of river boat gamblers and medieval knights, well start haunting those back issue bins. The Planet of the Apes comics are truly a part of pop culture history and should be sought out by apeophiles everywhere.

10. King Solomon

First Ape-earance: America’s Best Comics Preview #1 (1999)Created by Alan Moore and Chris Sprouse

See, Alan Moore knows apes in comics are awesome, which is probably why, when he was building the extended family of his Doc Savage/ Superman homage Tom Strong along with artist Chris Sprouse, Moore made sure to give his titular hero a monkey sidekick. Throughout Moore and Sprouse’s lengthy and brilliant run on Tom Strong, King Solomon played a huge role, a modern day simian character that would have been right at home in the Silver Age.

Solomon, who had a Johnny Storm and Ben Grimm like relationship with Tom Strong’s robotic butler Pneuman, proved that all heroes should have a monkey ally. Tom Strong was a great hero, a loving tribute to days gone by, but having a monkey forever by his side, especially one as powerful and brilliant as Solomon, made Tom Strong all the more fabulous.

9. Detective Chimp

First Ape-earance: Adventures of Rex the Wonder Dog #4 (1952)Created by John Broome and Carmine Infantino

What’s cooler than a monkey in a deerstalker? Absolutely nothing. Detective Chimp first appeared in the very late Golden Age and became a regular supporting character in DC’s Rex the Wonder Dog feature. Where Rex disappeared into the mists of comic history, Detective Chimp endured, popping up in many random places over the years. You want to know why? Because he’s a chimp that solves crime.

He’s a monkey that goes around with a magnifying glass and uses his keen analytical skills to solve mysterious malfeasances. The only difference between Detective Chimp and Sherlock Holmes is that Sherlock doesn’t have a prehensile tail and the Chimp was never played by Peter Cushing (but how awesome would that have been?). The best part of the Chimp was the fact that in his early appearances, he didn’t speak, so essentially, he was a regular chimp that had the ability to solve complex felonies. The Chimp played a major role in the world of DC’s magic heroes as a founding member of Shadowpact where he solidified his place in modern comic history and even wielded the helmet of Dr. Fate for a short time.

And now, it’s time for the PRIME 8. HA!

8. Titano

First Ape-earance: Superman #127 (1959)Created by Otto Binder and Curt Swan

King Kong has always been pretty popular over the years, huh? Well, not one to ignore a pop culture trend, Superman editor and all around curmudgeon Mort Weisinger introduced Titano to the extended Superman Family. Who wouldn’t want to see Superman versus Kong? But a regular giant ape wouldn’t do for Superman, oh no, so Titano was created. Not only was this towering mass of monkey huge he also could shoot Kryptonite out of his eyes!

Poor Titano was once a chimp named Toto that was bombarded by space radiation causing his glandular advantages and Superman killing eyes. Titano was always played for sympathy in the myriad Superman features he popped up in. Like Kong, there was a certain tragedy to poor Toto. To Superman, Titano was equivalent to what a monkey with machine guns for eyes would be to us.

Y’know, I should probably trademark that.

7. Ultra-Humanite

First Ape-earance: Action Comics #13 (1939)Created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster

It’s hard to imagine that a mad scientist implanting his own brain into an albino gorilla isn’t even close to the strangest thing that has happened during the course of the long history of the Ultra-Humanite. This albino ape master criminal was actually the first recurring foe Superman ever faced during the dawn of the Golden Age. At first, the Humanite was a balding evil scientist and was pretty much exactly what Lex Luthor would become just a few short years later. The Humanite would bedevil Superman again and again during the Man of Steel’s early adventures until essentially, he was murdered by Superman (because… the Golden Age? It was different).

But that wasn’t the end of it, oh no, brace yourselves now, the Ultra-Humanite’s brain was then placed in the body of a beautiful actress because he wanted to put “his mighty brain in her young vital body,” thus making Ultra the first Quagmire level super creep in comic book history. His next transplantation was into the iconic super ape of DC lore. So Ultra is a former middle aged balding scientist who spent a long period of time in the body of a nubile young woman before finally becoming an albino ape. Excuse me, I think I need to shower.

6. The Red Ghost’s Super Apes

First Ape-earance: Fantastic Four #13 (1963)Created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby

The Red Ghost was a patriotic Russian madman who wanted to replicate the accident that gave the Fantastic Four their powers, so instead of taking his best pal, young girlfriend, and young girlfriend’s younger brother into space to expose them to cosmic rays, he did what any sane man would do, he brought three monkeys. Allow us to introduce to the uninformed the Red Ghost’s super apes, Mikhlo the Gorilla, Igor the Baboon, and Peotr the Orangutan. Mikhlo gained super strength and durability, Igor could now shape shift, and Peotr now had the power to control gravity AND magnetism.

So let that sink in, Peotr, a simple orangutan, now had the same power as Magneto and Graviton combined. Holy Doctor Zaius! Meanwhile, Igor could turn into anyone or anything. So he could, like, transform into a bed or something and just hide until some unsuspecting schmuck comes along not realizing his Seeley Posturepedic is actually a shape shifting Communist baboon. What the hell, Stan and Jack, that’s abjectly terrifying.

The Ghost and his Apes have been a surrealistic thorn in the side of the heroes of the Marvel Universe for decades and we at Den of Geek are counting the days until someone, whether it be Marvel Studios or Fox, sticks the foursome into a film, because the world is totally ready for Magnetic Marxist Monkeys. Well, we are, at least.

5. Beppo, the Super Monkey

First Ape-earance: Superboy #76 (1959)Created by Otto Binder and George Papp

I guess two things defined the late ’50s in America, prevailing paranoia about Communism and comic book monkeys. As this article proves, there was a metric ton of super monkeys introduced in the ’50s, but clearly, Beppo was the mightiest of them all, because he’s a monkey from Krypton WITH THE EXACT POWERS OF SUPERMAN!

Now before the thought of a monkey with heat vision sends you screaming into Lovecraftian insanity, we will comfort you with the fact that Beppo was a very good and kind monkey who would never go feral and rip someone’s fingers, face, and testicles off. He was a kind monkey who emulated Superman in every way right down to an adorable red cape. There is nothing not comforting about a monkey in a cape.  

Beppo was once one of Jor-El’s lab animals who stowed away in baby Kal-El’s ship and hitched a ride to Earth (think about that the next time you watch the Richard Donner film). Years later, loyal Beppo was reunited with Kal and became a founding member of the Legion of Super Pets. Good ol’ Beppo, is there a place for you in the New 52? We think you would look quite fetching in a high collar.

4. Congorilla

First Ape-earance: More Fun Comics #56 (1940)Created by Whitney Ellsworth and George Papp

Congo Bill may be one of the least known heroes from the late Golden Age/early Silver Age but man, did his strip run forever. In his initial incarnation, Bill first appeared in More Fun Comics #56 (1940) before moving over to Action Comics with issue #37. Bill stayed in Action, backing up Superman, until issue #262. That’s quite a run for an obscure character.

After Action, Bill’s adventures continued in Adventure Comics where it ran until issue #283. Bill had his own series which premiered in 1954 and was even featured in his own 1948 15-part Columbia movie serial starring Don McGuire and Cleo Moore. Wonder Woman didn’t have her own film serial, nor did Flash, Green Lantern, or Hawkman, but Congo Bill did.

Bill started out as a typical pith-helmeted jungle adventurer, he even had his own sidekick in Janu, the Jungle Boy, but he is on our monkey list because halfway through his shockingly lengthy run, Congo Bill became Congorilla after he was gifted with a magical ring that allowed him to switch bodies with a legendary golden gorilla. As Congorilla, Bill’s adventures had a decidedly new flavor because, hey, he was now a monkey. Too bad the movie serial came out before Bill’s simian transformation because that could have been epic. Some actor in a gorilla suit thrilling Saturday matinee audiences like a hairy Buster Crabbe? Ah, what could have been…

In recent years, Congorilla was even given a shot as a member of the Justice League. Maybe Warners will take this as a cue to stick Congo Bill, one of their longest running characters from yesteryear, into Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. Why not, everyone else is?

3. Monsieur Mallah

First Ape-earance: Doom Patrol #86 (1964)Created by Arnold Drake and Bruno Premiani

A gorilla with a beret. And a French accent. And a machine gun. In love with an evil brain in a jar. That’s Monsieur Mallah, one of the arch foes of the original Doom Patrol and later an assault gun wielding engine of destruction that was a constant thorn in the side of the Teen Titans. Mallah just got weirder as the years went on…

Y’see, once Grant Morrison got a hold of him, Mallah went from a monkey with a machine gun to a monkey with a machine gun and a sexual attraction to a disembodied sociopathic despotic brain. You can seriously write a dissertation on the anatomic logistics of that alone. How does that work, is there a gorilla sized hole in the Brain’s containment unit? Or, you know, never mind. Let’s just focus on a French monkey with a machine gun locked in an eternal struggle with the Doom Patrol. Although simian/ frontal lobe pr0n might became the next internet craze.

2. Gorilla Grodd

First Ape-earance: The Flash #106 (1959)Created by John Broome and Carmine Infantino

He has the powers of Charles Xavier in the body of an 800 pound killing machine. If that doesn’t brown your shorts, nothing will. From the Silver Age of DC, to the days of the Super Friends, to the modern era, Gorilla Grodd has been one of the most fearsome and iconic villains of the DC Universe. Grodd’s goal is to conquer Gorilla City and eventually the world and, by the way, Gorilla City is like reason number 2 comics are awesome right behind Jack Kirby.

Grodd is probably the most famous ape in super-hero lore; his immense powers and fearsome presence have transcended generations and who could forget his voice and snarl in the Super Friends? It seems that wherever there has been a Flash, there has been a Grodd to truly test the speedster’s heroic mettle. It has to be asked, can the upcoming CW Flash TV series do Grodd justice? Will they embrace the sheer insanity of the concept of a monkey Genghis Khan with almost unthinkable mental powers? We sure hope so because, in Grodd we trust.

1. Ampersand

First Ape-earance: Y, the Last Man #1 (2002)Created by Brian K. Vaughan and Pia Guerra

If you haven’t read Brian K. Vaughn and Pia Guerra’s seminal Vertigo series (what’s wrong with you), you probably should do so for a million different reasons, one of which is to witness that sheer awesomeness of Ampersand, the Capuchin monkey belonging to Yorick, the series protagonist. For those few unlucky enough to not have read Y, the Last Man, the series was about Yorick, the only human male survivor of a plague that wiped out the entire male population of Earth. Ampersand was the only dude survivor of the animal kingdom and together, Yorick and his ‘lil pal had to find the truth behind the plague and find a way to kick start the human race once again.

Ampersand really was the heart of the series, a mischievous little guy that brought much needed comic relief (read: poop throwing) to the dark world of Y. But Ampersand wasn’t just there for levity, it was the little Capuchin’s antibodies that allowed him and Yorick to survive. How did Yorick get exposed to the antibodies? You guessed it, through the flung doodie Ampersand was famous for. Now go read Y, and when you get to the final issue, through tears and pain, you will understand why Ampersand (and his death-defying feces) is #1 on our list.

So there you have it. The only question left is how in the name of Jane Goodall has there never been a monthly King Kong comic series? Konga had one, but not Kong? Injustice, I say! That defies Ape Law! Someone call Caesar!

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