Die Hard isn’t just my favourite Christmas movie; it’s my favourite movie, period.

THE definitive action film starring THE definitive action hero, it laid a marker for all action films to live up to. For my money, none have come close. Sure, you get more bang for your buck in films like Predator (another John McTiernan film) but with Die Hard you get an action film that’s rooted in reality and delivers on every conceivable front.

Hans Gruber’s motives are sound, his group’s methods brutal. John McClane’s response is like any other cop put in that situation - do all you can to survive and save the hostages. His anguish at the situations he’s put in is all too clear to see, Willis putting on his best gurns for the camera and, at times, the biggest nostrils you’ll ever see on a man. This is an ordinary guy in extraordinary circumstances, and boy does he pull out all the stops.

But away from the action, away from the blood and bullets, is a film set in a world we all know and understand. Setting it at Christmas time was a masterstroke. It’s Christmas Eve at Nakatomi Plaza and the party’s in full swing. Mr Takagi is showing his guests a good time, Harry Ellis is snorting copious amounts of coke and two other guests are shagging each other silly on one of Takagi’s boardroom tables. Surely all of us can recognise a part of our own debauched office Christmas parties in that? They may not have ended with a bunch of terrorists taking us all hostage, but we’ve all frequented a very messy office party at some point in our career.

Then there are the neat Christmas-related gags inserted into the film: Karl’s dead brother Tony, dressed with a Santa hat and a jumper bearing the immortal words: "ow I have a machine gun. Ho. Ho. Ho"; terrorist Theo’s unique take on The Night Before Christmas: "Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except... the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation"; McClane’s oft-quotable "Welcome to the party, pal!" line, directed at Al, only possible because this is set at a Christmas party.

And speaking of Al…

In my younger years his character used to annoy me. He appeared to serve no purpose, other than to shoot the how-the-hell-is-he-not-dead-after-that-brutal-beating Karl at the film’s close. But I was missing the point. Sergeant Al Powell is the film’s heart, something that’s present in every good Christmas film. His tale of an accidental shooting of a child some years ago sits perfectly with McClane’s everyman cop. These guys aren’t heroes. They’re just guys doing their job under difficult circumstances. That Al has the final word by saving McClane with a single shot is the uplifting moment every festive movie deserves.

In fact, the only more uplifting moment in a Christmas movie I can think of occurs in Die Hard 2 when, on Christmas Eve, John McClane saves the day by blowing up a plane of terrorists, thus clearing the way for his wife to safely return home: "Holly! There’s your f*cking landing light!"

Ho Ho Ho.

My favourite xmas film: Batman Returns
My favourite xmas film: Home Alone
My favourite xmas film: Trading Places
My favourite xmas film: It's A Wonderful Life
My favourite xmas film: Elf
My favourite Christmas TV Programme: Knowing Me, Knowing Yule

23 December 2008