The Simpsons: The Yellow Badge of Cowardge, review

The Simpsons‘ “The Yellow Badge of Cowardge” opens with a Simpsons movie tease. Will there be another Simpsons movie, and everyone runs away. The show just ran an episode, the Lego one, that took two years and boxes and boxes of Legos to make. I liked the first and wish they hadn’t dodged the question. But dodge it they did, like a ball thrown by a gymnasium bully aiming at your teeth.

This episode ends with Maggie doing a chicken clucking. To me, this is big. Maggie never talks, even in the future when we hear that she has a beautiful singing voice, we never hear it. Maggie’s voice has only been done by one person, the iconic purple-eyed Hollywood legend Elizabeth Taylor. I’m sure she didn’t do the chicken-clucking as it would have had to have been posthumously recorded.

The last day of school. Field day. Kids who have never talked to each other are running with their legs tied together. Eggs are flying, Groundskeeper Willie keeps usually keeps book. Most Season Finales on the Simpsons are summer-related. They’re usually enjoyable episodes, not necessarily classics, the season penultimate are usually better, not by design I’m sure. This is no different, a perfectly fine episode with jokes and gags galore. Knowing I’m going to get backlash I’ll still say it, even lackluster Simpsons episodes are superior to anything else in comedy on TV. The writers and artists may not hit with every single joke but they put so many in the ratio always works. Sometimes you can see punchlines coming from blocks away, like when Grandpa falls asleep.

This summer, Springfield won’t be able to afford a fireworks display. They’ll be able to host a sports award for the kid who won a race around Springfield Elementary at the LiveNice: Athletes United to Read Prepared Statements event though, so at least their priorities are straight. Bart is going through yet another crisis of conscience. He seems to have them a lot. Even as a bad kid, Bart is an underachiever. Sure, he’s bad enough to be barred for life from summer prison work crews, but he thinks about it. Lisa is relegated to narrator this episode, so try not to disturb her. There wasn’t enough Marge this episode.

Millhouse, the boy who sprained his shoulder during the pledge of allegiance, is going to have issues when he grows up. I hope I never have him as a boss. Superintendent Chalmers even announces him over the loudspeaker as the boy who nobody loves. Millhouse’s father isn’t man enough to deal with crocodiles and his best friend turns out to be a coward too. Bart and Millhouse’s relationship is always saved, and not everything is always saved on The Simpsons, by something stupid and pointless on Bart’s part, unless of course they could get Mickey Rooney as a guest star.

The Simpsons “The Yellow Badge of Cowardge” was a good Springfield episode. The fourth of July is a good time to bring out the town and put them in stupid outfits and working muskets. The episode was funny, it taught a lesson. Probably the wrong lesson, but why quibble? And only Millhouse got hurt, which is probably the point. I also always like when the Simpsons lets Dan Castellaneta improv through songs in the fadeout. Pure unfettered Castellenata.

“The Yellow Badge of Cowardge” was written by Billy Kimball and Ian Maxtone-Graham. The Simpsons stars Dan Castellaneta as Homer Simpson, Groundskeeper Willie, Gil Gunderson and Principal Skinner, Julie Kavner as Marge Simpson, Nancy Cartwright as Bart Simpson and Nelson, Yeardley Smith as Lisa Simpson, Pamela Hayden as Millhouse. Hank Azaria plays Moe Szyslak. Guest stars: Glenn Close as Mona Simpson. Edwin Moses as himself.

But It All Went By So Fast: Proverbs 28:1 The Wicked Flee When None Pursueth. Genesis 15:9 The Lord Answered “Bring Me A Heifer, Three Years Old.” Springfield Shopper Headline: Bastille Day in Jeopardy. Back Cover: Kwik E Mart Ad for Red White and Blue Summer Slurpees. Springfield Elementary School Field Day: The last day we get to make you feel inferior. Group Message to all students: Pull harder. Why? What’s the point? Lewis will be out of the office June 6 – August 23^rd.  Dummy Tummy by Body Liar. Race Round the School Place your Bets: Hubert – 1/2. Lewis – 2/1. Sherri/Terri – 4/1. Bart – 8/1. Millhouse – 1,000/1. Parlays available.

Guiseppe Granfinalli, never had a dud, has a cover of Kapow magazine on his wall at the Wrinkled Arms Retirement Home. Brandine, Cletus the slackjawed hillbilly’s wife, is dipping a mouse in her tea. 

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