Sons of Anarchy: Poenitentia, Review

Thank you, Kurt Sutter. I am never, EVER, going to scrub the following images out of my brain: Donal Logue in his undies. Geriatric Robocop being ridden by a hooker. Those scenes have been indelibly burned onto my cornea. Forever. So what the hell happened last night? EVERYTHING. Seriously. All the things. (SPOILERS ahead!)

Wackadoodle U.S. Marshall proved to be more a hot mess than Tig. Last night, in what was arguably the best scene of the evening, he accidently shot a hooker. While in his skivvies. Then, in what was arguably the second best scene of the evening, he tried to turn two of Nero’s underlings into bottle openers. Fun fact, you cannot use someone’s teeth to pry off a twist-cap.

Geriatric Robocop is still a badass and does not take kindly to being shot at by Persians. Fuck with Geriatric Robocop and he will cut you. He is also banging the hot blond hooker Jax tapped back in Episode 1. And Jax knows it. Awkward.Wendy is lying to Gemma, claiming she has guy trouble. Is this a bid to get back into the club’s good graces or is she making a larger play? Either way; a risky proposition. Much like Geriatric Robocop, Gemma will cut a ho’.

Bobby has recruited four guys from other charters. I have to be honest here; I think the whole ‘going nomad’ line is a red herring. I think Bobby is recruiting new and moderate-minded members for Charming. Clay said his goodbyes to Gemma and Jax, told the Wackadoodle Marshall to go fuck himself, and then walked into general population expecting to die. Only things went sideways. Instead he ended up shivving some dude in the yard and got sent to solitary for his efforts (where I suspect he is in close proximity to poor Otto).

How the fuck did that happen? Turns out Jax made a deal with August Marks to keep Clay, and his connection to the IRA, alive a little longer. He wants to unload the gun running gig in a bad way. But nothing is ever what it seems with Jax. My guess is he wants to keep Clay in play against the Wackadoodle. So he handed Tig over to August instead.

Excuse me while I rend my clothes and rub ashes in my hair. Tig is my favorite. I love him. I have the worst daddy-issues type crush on him and his giant head of weirdly fluffy hair. Still, Jax (and Sutter) ain’t wrong. Tig clearly cannot change his ways. He continues to make terrible choices about whom to murder and the consequences of his actions land on the MC in the form of death and mayhem. He has to go. Although why can’t he just retire from the club and move to my house? I am sure my husband won’t mind.

And finally, I am sad to report that Tara is preggo. In this reviewer’s opinion, that baby will be the only thing that saves her from a beat down when Jax finds out she is angling for a divorce.

Phenomenal episode. I almost threw my remote into the TV.

For those of you wondering: Locus poenitentiae is a legal term indicating the opportunity to withdraw from a contract.

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