This was a bad episode of Intruders for contract killers and crazy people alike. I mean, if you can’t trust your friend, the hitman, who can you trust? Last episode we watched the elusive Bob Anderson get gunned down in a crowded restaurant by Richard in front of Jack and Gary. Because Richard gives zero shits.
Jack took it pretty well, retiring to the local Econo Lodge with a bottle o’ booze. But Anderson’s death may have pushed Gary over the edge. Unfortunately, he was almost there anyway. Remember that squirrely look Gary had when he was standing alone, in the dated building that Amy owns? Yeah, that was the trademark look of a wackadoodle. Turns out Gary was fired from his law firm several months back. He has been spending his time hiding out in a hotel, not grooming, and obsessing over a shitload of loose leaf files (seriously, hasn’t this guy heard of a PDF?).
Poor Gary is under the impression that Donna (suicide chick from the first episode) has possessed his baby daughter in an effort to warn him about the intruders. I have to say, if that is true, it is a real dick move on Donna’s part. First, what the hell, dude? Let that baby have her body. Second, this plan could not have been well thought out. I mean, how many more months will it be before she can even speak in that body to warn Gary? And third, who exactly is going to have to wipe her ass in the meantime, since those tiny little legs can’t carry her to the bathroom? Gary really needs to reassess their friendship, because at this point, Donna is as big an asshole as Marcus. Indeed, Gary felt the same way and apparently shook his baby daughter like he was an annoyed au pair. He has no home and no family to go back to. All he has left is conspiracy theory and man tears. So many man tears.
Gary isn’t the only one having a tough day. Frank Shepherd makes a cameo, paying Richard a visit that is more than a social call. He wants to know who helped Marcus come back. Richard denied it, and while Frank seemed to buy what he was selling, he left Richard with the distinct impression that Marcus and his allies were on borrowed time. And there’s the problem. Richard isn’t really a friend of Marcus (thank god), but they share a common purpose. Both of them think that immortality should be freely available. Now there’s a loaded suggestion. Think about it: how crowded would the world get with no one dying? How many souls can you cram into one vessel? What if you hated your body snatching roomies?
Although it would be hilarious if Richard and Marcus ended up shoehorned into a body together. The more we learn about Marcus, the worse it gets. Not only was he a douche of a pedophile, he also liked to kill and mummify his victims under the floor boards of his basement. Yet hands down, the worst part of this episode was not the withered corpses of the mutilated young girls, it was Maddie quaffing booze in the shower after knifing a stranger to death. Seriously. I LOL’d.
Richard finally caught up with Marcus, who managed to escape by hijacking Richard’s car (and eating all his snacks while he was at it, Marcus really is inconsiderate). Poor Richard, he really has a tough time this episode, what with having to kill Frank to ensure his own survival, and constantly getting bested by a nine-year-old girl.
While this episode had a good amount of the ridiculous, it also had answers. According to Captain Crazy Pants (Gary), the deal is that everyone has two souls. The intruders just know how to activate their souls inside of the new vessel, so they can take control. Is it just me or do the numbers on this seem flawed? Only two souls per body? Shouldn’t there be a lot more, if you consider how many people have been alive through history?