We made it. Take a deep breath and congratulate yourself for hanging on this long. Here we are, the season finale of Helix. The long descent into plot induced madness is over…until Season 2. Although Helix left a lot of cliffhangers to try and lure viewers back for that one. FYI – there are major spoilers in this review, read ahead at your own peril.
I must admit that I was a little behind in my viewing. No big deal, some hot DVR binge watching would catch me up. Only, when I started Episode 11, I thought I must have missed an Episode 10.5. What the heck is going on at Arctic Biosystems? What the heck is going on in the writer’s room? The plot had gotten so disjointed that I felt like I was watching a completely different show. One in which Daft Punk were moonlighting as knife happy assassins. I can say one thing for Helix: the shark jumping has remained consistent.
Last week on Helix, this viewer laughed when Daniel, the portly security guard, got his head exploded. Yes. You read that right. The immortal assassin who looks 12 years old, and who takes his wardrobe cues from today’s helmet wearing DJ’s, exploded Daniel’s head. This viewer laughed. I laughed when the blood splattered the window. I laughed harder when Hatake cried. As awful as the episode was, what with Walker’s mother turning up at the end, the miraculous cures of Jordan and the vectors, the disappearance of Major Balls – Daniel’s head exploding made the entire thing worth watching.
Day 13 finds Hatake and Jordan bonding over Daniel’s headless corpse (yup, still funny). The Scythe has been taken captive and is given a stern talking to by Walker and the brothers Farragut. He is unmoved by their threats. A kitten would be unmoved by their threats. There is some talk about beating answers out of him, but the elder Farragut spews out the old moral majority line that they (the good guys) cannot descend to Ilaria’s level. Which is funny, since the episode opens with shots of him beating the snot out of some dude. Poor elder Farragut, all his big moral stands have been, well, rather short lived.
The Scythe shows the Farraguts some nice news footage of the virus running rampant. I guess the rest of the CDC could not be bothered to try and contain that outbreak? Anywho, it turns out that the younger Farragut, when not drooling black slime, has been in cahoots with Ilaria and was the one who got the virus off the base to Puerto Rico. When? Hey, who knows? This is a good time to remember that the younger Farragut ran off with his brother’s wife, too. He cuts the Scythe loose and proves that he really is a dick.
Meanwhile, Major Balleseros makes his way back to the base and gets Hatake to give him a list of all the children that were stolen, experimented on, and placed in foster care. After which, he meets up with Anana who has come to help the scientists escape; a decision I am sure she regretted as soon as she learned about Daniel’s unfortunate ‘head’ situation.
Hatake, Walker, and the non-dickish Farragut are in hot pursuit of the virus, the cure, and Walker’s mom (who has been locked up in a high tech dog crate for the past 30 odd years). Unfortunately for the happy family, everything goes to pot when the Scythe blows up the base and kidnaps Walker while killing her mom. As you probably guessed, Hatake cries. Again.
Non-dickish Farragut, perhaps realizing he should have beaten the tar out of the little snot after all, goes commando. He throws Constance Sutton’s head at the Scythe, who turns out to be her son…Spencer. I see why he changed his name. Then Farragut jumps on the helicopter in time to grab the cure, but not to save Walker.
I tried to tell you; the season finale was a hot, hot mess. It closes with the Farragut brothers slumming around Paris cafes speculating on whether Walker is still alive. Meanwhile Walker has gone from kidnap victim to power suit wearing CEO who appears to be running the show in the Ilaria boardroom. To be fair, she looks great in that suit. I am sure Hatake cried when she picked it out.
Oh, and Jordan is pregnant. No…no one else cares either.
So Season 2? Well, Helix certainly left a lot of low hanging fruit in this episode. The question, of course, are any viewers still around who would want it? The probing, intellectual and ethical aspects of the narrative have long since vanished and all that is left is gratuitous head exploding. And while I love a good decapitation as much as the next person, I can get gore AND comprehensive plot from elsewhere on the television.