Reviews

Hannibal: Sorbet, Review

Nobody doesn't like a Sorbet, especially when its Dr. Lecter serving it. The question is, what kind of sorbet goes with human flesh? I mean chicken...

By Gerri Mahn | May 10, 2013 | | 0

The episode starts off with a rundown of the Chesapeake Ripper’s nine victims, followed by a lovely endoscopy shot of an opera singer. Blech. That actually grossed me out more than the evisceration. Or the cannibalism. Despite the deep throat cam, once again the cinematography is breathtaking. During the opera there was a lovely haze around the periphery of the shot which reminded me of those old fashioned black and white films. The setting was amazing, the black, gold, and red of the outfits and the set were perfectly balanced. So pretty! But this is Hannibal, and all the cinematography is pretty. It helps balance out the violence. And oh my, tonight there was blood.

Unfortunately Lecter cannot just sit back and enjoy his opera singer, not since his patient, Franklin, has turned into a crazy stalker. Oh, Franklin, this is going to end badly for you and the audience is going to enjoy it.

Like Lecter, Franklin is a man of specific tastes. He loves figuring out your interests, accidently/on purpose running into you at places you frequent, and ruminating on how awesome a friend he would have been to Michael Jackson. Oh, Franklin. Franklin, Franklin, Franklin.

Franklin is also afraid of being alone.

And guessing by the lonely hearts face Lecter made later in the episode when he realized that he had been stood up by Will for one of their appointments, he is not terribly happy about being alone either.

Anywho. Franklin taught me something new today: there is such a thing as divination by cheese. What in the hell is that? Tyromancy. Basically you read the future in cheese holes. Which is almost, but not quite, as weird as Jackie Stallone’s Rumpology. Yup, Rocky’s mom can tell the future by reading the bumps on your ASS.

Where were we? Oh yeah, Hannibal. Tonight we realize that Will and Crawford are expecting the Ripper to pony up some hot cannibal action soon, and sure enough, two victims materialize. But no one is 100% sure which victim belongs to the Ripper. The man found in his hotel bathroom minus a kidney or the dude found cut in half who ends up sitting beside himself on a bus? Either way the victims are really secondary to Lecter’s cooking and sexy time flirting. Why did I have to wait until Episode 7 for sexy time flirting? C’mon NBC, if you had trotted out the smut earlier, you might not be trailing (the shit storm that is) The Happening in the ratings.

And really? REALLY? Hannibal might not get renewed because it shares air time with The Happening? I feel like I am taking crazy pills!

Moving on. Crawford is still sleeping alone and getting haunted by Miriam Lass’s ghost. And as for the body found in the bathtub; the scene was not as poetic as the Ripper’s tableaus. This was messy. When Will gets into this killer’s head, he realized that they were actually trying to save the victim’s life. Through internal heart massage? DANG. Look, if I am dying and you need to restart my heart, do me a solid and do not try to restart it from inside of my body. I am going to go out on a limb and guess you will probably be doing me more harm than good. Plus, did you really stop to wash your hands before you jammed them up under my ribs? No. No you did not. So get your dirty hands out of my innards and let me die of heart failure instead of 1) evisceration or 2) a wretched staph infection.

Thank you.

Will does not think that kidney-less Joe in the tub there is a Ripper victim.

He also thinks the Ripper is someone who can masquerade as a “norm” which only makes him creepier. He is wearing a “perfectly tailored human suit”, this according to Lecter’s own shrink, Gillian Anderson. Who has never looked more ravishing. Good lord that is one sexy time woman. And Lecter knows it. They like to sit in strained silence, only talk in order to bait each other, and fill the room with sexual tension before sharing a glass of (pink?) wine.

Then Lecter goes back to his office and has a glass of (pink?) wine with Will as they share strained silence, only talk in order to bait each other, and fill the room with sexual tension. Aw yeah. Will is having issues. He is not sleepwalking but he is sitting alone in his office, fantasizing about being Abigail’s dad. He imagines the two of them sitting in a field. With a dead body. Very bucolic.

Although I don’t think that was any more off-putting than learning that Lecter has a rolodex full of victims. I mean, how creepy is that? A rolodex. Dude. That is why God invented the iPhone.

As always, Will is right. The heart massager was not the Ripper. It was a dumbass EMT. And luckily, when they did catch up to him, Lecter was on hand to save the latest dude who was about to be shy a kidney. Later, as he is preparing for a dinner party, Lecter tells Will that he stopped being a surgeon after one too many patients died on his table. Now, he has transferred his passion to the culinary arts.

Le sigh. I am beginning to thing Will is blind and deaf. Anywho. We learn why the Ripper slaughters his victims in sets of three; he has to stock his larder. Indeed, Lecter harvests his ingredients and then transforms them into a delectable feast for the rich. Jonathan Swift would be so proud!

“I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious nourishing and wholesome food…”

Body parts consumed this week:

Heart, kidney, liver, stomach, pancreas, spleen, lungs, and possibly a brain. Really, nothing was off the table (so to speak) this week. The heart and kidney were stuffed and wrapped with bacon; served with beer brewed in a wine barrel that Lecter bottled himself.

I love you. Marry me.[Editor: That was a bit creepier than usual, Gerri. ][ Shush!! ]

How do I cook all that?

Good lord, we need Julia Child for this mess! But if you are absolutely dying to stuff a heart, why not try venison or beef? http://www.food.com/recipe/stuffed-heart-40619?layout=desktop