5. Unnatural Love
‘Too many dudesWith too many dicksToo close to my shitToo hard to meet chicksI need better oddsMore broads, less rodsI came to do battleScadaddle with the cattle prods’
This week’s episode sees the boys hit the town, albeit rather reluctantly, at Murray’s request. Once inside the club the boys are dancing with Dave and are a little too close for his liking, so he requests that they “spread out the dicks a bit” and launch into Too Many Dicks On The Dance Floor, a dance number about a sausage-fest. It’s decent enough; the highlight is Dave’s segment above. The scene was directed by Michel Gondry, something that’s easily recognisable by his visual style. Gondry also makes a, blink and miss it, cameo later in the episode.
Following the song we find Jemaine waking up in the bed of a girl, but not just any girl – an Australian. Seemingly he was able to pull despite there being too many dicks on the dance floor. Naturally, he tries to escape unnoticed but can’t get out of the door. Panicked he phones Bret for advice and is about to jump out of the window when he’s caught by the woman, who introduces herself as “Kietha”. She asks Jemaine, or ‘Big-J’, to stay but he makes his excuses and heads to a clinic, with Bret, for a check-up. Bret asks what the red stuff around Jemaine’s mouth is, Jemaine states that it’s lipstick but Bret’s convinced that it’s crabs.
Later at the band meeting Murray is outraged to find out what Jemaine has done, and warns him about Australian women enticing sailors and causing their ships to sink. It’s pointed out that Murray is possibly getting Australian women confused with mermaids. Murray and Bret discuss the possibility of expelling Jemaine from the band. Despite his indiscretion, they allow him to stay and ask him if he still has his wallet, to which Jemaine replies yes.
Jemaine revisits Kietha to retrieve his missing wallet and is convinced to have a cup of tea. He probably wishes he didn’t say yes to milk though, as Kietha poured it from a cereal bowl. They discuss her heritage and it turns out that she’s the descendant of a rapist and a prostitute. Following their chat, Kietha manages to convince Big-J to go to bed.
Jemaine and Kietha start dating which is something that Bret and Murray don’t approve of. Not having the highest opinion of Kietha due to her nationality, things aren’t exactly improved when she turns out to be quite crass when Jemaine brings her to meet them at a cafe, announcing that she was “going to the dunny to murder a brown snake”.
Kietha’s friends also aren’t the biggest fans of Jemaine. When he goes to visit Kietha they tell him that she’s left the country despite her being visible to Jemaine. When Jemaine questions her about this later she says that it’s because he’s a dick and that she’s rutted better-looking guys when blind drunk. After this conversation Jemaine sings Carol Brown, a song that lists his ex-girlfriends and the reasons why they left him. It also sees Bret and Jemaine playing rather fantastic-looking guitars.
Jemaine and Kietha agree to elope to New Jersey and arrange to meet up later. Jemaine waits for hours and Kietha doesn’t show. He decides to head home and tries to get a hansom cab driver to take him but is disappointed to learn that they only go around the park and decides to go on foot.
When he returns home he finds the apartment empty and Bret taped to the back of the door. It turns out that Kietha and her friends robbed them whilst Jemaine was out. Jemaine hands Bret his sandwich and gives him a hug, which Bret points out he isn’t participating in.
Mixed feelings about the episode, it had some really funny moments and two fairly strong songs. But despite this it seemed a little flat overall. Nowhere near as bad as the first or fourth episodes, but not as strong as two and three. Let’s hope that they can get out of the slump next week…
Check out our review of episode 4 here.