Dynasty Episode 5 Review: Company Slut

The fights and #Feminism fall flat in this low-intrigue episode of Dynasty.

This Dynasty review contains spoilers.

Dynasty Episode 5

Everyone goes to work, but only Steven seems to get anything done in this episode of Dynasty. The ladies, meanwhile, have a thoroughly boring take on some Lean In-style BS.  

I’m always happy to see a ‘getting ready” montage set to ’80s music, and this one has Cristal coming dangerously close to leaving the house in a glittery white suit, which falls somewhere between “power” and “leisure.” Because this show isn’t bold enough yet, she ends up wearing a thoroughly normal-looking blush suit instead, which just so happens to have western-style appliqué birds on the blouse, because of course it does. Luckily, she makes up for it by wearing an amazing white cape later on. Fallon, on the other hand, sports a number that’s more Kellyanne at the inauguration than Working Girl. Either way, they both lose to Sammy Joe and Anders in their very different all-white ensembles. Am I the only one who thinks Anders is gay?

When the intrigue and meddling work, Dynasty becomes a lot more fun. While the reveal that Anders was the puppet master behind ousting Steven’s ex caught me off guard, it’s always more fun to catch glimpses of whatever game is afoot and try to piece together what’s going on, or else watch two opposing forces snipe and scrap their way to a finish line. Cristal and Fallon’s fight for the magazine cover wasn’t any fun because we watched their entire game play out in full view. I kept waiting for Cristal or the editor to play the ace up her sleeve after Fallon was announced the winner, but neither woman had one, and that’s a shame.

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Steven’s ex comes to town

The sly c-plot of this episode actually turned out to be the most fun, and the most revealing, although the payoffs came awfully late in the game. Anders (Joseph!) had me going for a second when he seemingly opened up to Sammy Joe. It turns out it was a little bit of scheming with Blake to rid themselves of Steven’s ex. Of course now I want to know more about Steven’s history with that ex of his, who I’m sure will find his way back to Casa Carrington.

With that headband it seems like Fallon is supposed to be our Blair Waldorf, but Anders is the real expert schemer of this show, and that was always B’s best quality. But don’t for a minute think that story Anders told us about Grandpappy Carrington was – the best liars base their tall tales in the truth.

Speaking of liars, Sammy Joe seems to finally be smitten for real – after all, no one goes to that much effort to discredit the ex of a person they’re just not that into.

Cristal and Fallon catfight their way through the glass ceiling

Like many shows, Dynasty does its best gender commentary (a reach, to be sure) when it’s subtle. Panning from a newly-announced woman executive to the only other women at the table was a bit much, and everything about Cristal’s work plot felt like a tired reminder that tall poppy syndrome exists. I was pleased to see another woman of color in the board room, but Cristal getting pissed at someone for taking her valid concerns to her boss felt like a poor use of that character, and a weak example of a woman “backstabbing” another woman in the workplace.

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Claudia calls Cristal a company tramp and then correct herself to company slut as if that’s clever and “company tramp” is a real saying. Neither are the case. Still, Cristal deserves to be yelled at and more by Claudia, something she tries to come to terms with over the course of the episode.

One of the shifts from the original show to this one is that Cristal (nee Krystal) isn’t innocent, but sometimes the writers forget that. The best part of Cristal’s storyline is when she finally gets some self-awareness and owns up to the fact that she’s a liar and a cheater, as well as everything she accuses Fallon or Deirdre of being. Of the board room broads, Cristal is the Deirdre and Fallon is the Kiley – Fallon makes no bones about what she does, but Cristal likes to pretend she’s the good one.

Fallon shoots herself in the foot

Because Fallon is incorrigible, she accidentally tattles on herself to Blake for being the one to leak Cristal’s sex tape with Matthew to the press. I think we’re supposed to be impressed that Cristal didn’t tell Blake that Fallon leaked her sex tape, but we never saw Cristal have an opening to be tempted to do so, so it doesn’t really land. We don’t have any more knowledge or sympathy for Cristal now than we did before because we didn’t ever see the moment of Cristal’s choice to rise above.

Blake, on the other hand, does not rise above, and we definitely see it. It makes sense that he kicked Fallon out, but if he’s going to keep making nasty comparisons to her monstrous mother, we better meet this woman. And not three seasons in, Wynonna Earp-style.

Blake kicking out Fallon is exactly what we expect to happen when a rich old man gets a hot new bride, so while it’s logical it’s not all that fun to watch. More interesting to me is Fallon crawling to Michael and pretending he’s her first choice, and then getting shut down cold. Michael is the moral center of this show and one of the only characters to make the audience care, so I’m glad he’s standing up to himself against Fallon’s selfishness, which became repetitive this episode.

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In future episodes, I hope we see other sides to Fallon – there has to be a reason put up with her and even seem to genuinely care for her, and not even she has enough money to justify how boringly bitchy she was in this episode. I’d also like to see the writers embrace a bit of Cristal’s dark side – maybe Blake hitting Claudia with a car right in front of her will be the thing she needs to push her over the edge.

Rating:

2 out of 5