If you were great once, you probably have it in you to be great again. By Faith’s logic, and undying belief in those who possess any sliver of talent, Californication should be able to crank out two memorable episodes to justify its renewal before the series ultimately enters television’s infinite abyss… or better know as Netflix streaming.Regardless of how you chose to gorge yourself of the hours of Hank Moody that have made us question the laws of attraction and our ideas of relationships past and present, there is no real lingering question left to be answered that drives us to finish season six and attach ourselves to the final season that looms in 2014. We hear those who have decided to stuff their streaming diets with How I Met Your Mother bellow with thirst to find out who the mother is ever since Netflix gave the show the popularity it always deserved. Yet, the Hank-Karen situation, at least as presently constructed is thoroughly unappealing even to those who have stuck with the series since 2007.“The Abby,” underwhelms, falling short of the glimpses of greatness Californication has shown us in seasons past. Hank is tasked with convincing Atticus to quit rehab and continue making music. We know wherever Hank goes and no matter his intentions, trouble follows. This time he takes it too far by inspiring a relapse party. Temptation for the hell of it has been persistent throughout the series, but here it doesn’t really hold any value. It is one thing to see Hank relapse after a traumatic situation like he saw earlier in the season, but it is a whole different ballgame for an entire rehab clinic to not only turn on its head, but also celebrate it.The real story of the episode is Marcy and Runckle. I thought the Ophelia storyline needed to end when she went off on Stew and Runckle with the stun gun. Now I’m begging the storyline to end. Her overpowering anti-sausage stance turns into a full-on obsession with Marcy. It culminates with Ophelia’s psychotic kidnapping of Marcy and Charlie. Thankfully Ophelia’s insanity brings out their true feelings and Charlie and Marcy’s decide to re-marry.This development is the right step towards tying the loose ends of Californication, but in the episode’s closing moments, Karen questions if Becca was the only thing keeping her and Hank together. There is always the possibility that next week’s season finale will point the former lovers toward creating something lasting together.But for season seven’s sake, it should mark the end of a long, confusing chapter.
The only positive thing about the rehab storyline is the triumphant return of Richard Bates. He’s a professor now, a revered one at that, and he’s banging his male and female TA’s! In his lecture, Batesy drop his perils of knowledge on the class before he later drops his pants:“Pen, paper, laptop that shit doesn’t matter. The only tool you need is right here between your legs. Use it every chance you get!”