Californication, Season 6, Episode 2: Quitters,Review

Californication is in a period of transition and if Episode 2 entitled “Quitters” shows us anything, it’s that California is one hell of a drug.

Hank is reluctant to admit to his alcoholism when he enters a rehabilitation center. He has to make a joke out of it as a way to shield himself from making any real strides. Hank knows he’s an asshole but the other patients, namely Lost’s Maggie Grace playing the intoxicating Faith, see through his act. 

That brings me to Hank’s rhetorical question: “Isn’t it normal to numb yourself when you are in a lot of pain?” 

Faith, the cliché name for a wholesome blonde Christian girl, looks as though she’ll be the next remedy for Hank’s heart-shaped wounds. After coming off the ultimate test of faith (pun intended), coming face to face with his own mortality, Hank immediately tries to take one of the few drugs you can’t snort; sexual ecstasy. 

As faith would have it (last pun I swear), Faith and Hank don’t jump each other’s bones after one episode. It’s clear that the Greek God of love Eros prescribed Hank a dose of Faith to ease the pain. Faith, more or less a groupie, is in rehab to mourn the death of her rock star lover. Hank needs something to take his mind off of Carrie and it appears, for now he’s lost sight of Karen. The stars are aligned, it’s just a matter of time.

It only took six seasons of fuck-ups to turn Marcy and Karen onto the feminist movement. Karen looks broken, lost for answers to her relationship troubles. Marcy on the other hand, has it all figured out as the two smoke their drug of choice: 

“We fool ourselves into thinking we can make them into these sensitive pussy-eaters we can sit and watch The Bachelor with.”

While Karen is considering taking a break from men, Becca is slowing becoming like her old man. Last week she wanted to become a writer and drop out of school, now she’s taking shelter in random beds and forgetting her partner’s names. Hank is introduced to her one-night stand; a drug and possible sex addict named Ross. For Hank, that sounds like, to drop a Taylor Swift line, “Trouble, Trouble, Trouble.”

What’s a new season of Californication without a compelling Charlie storyline? A Hollywood superstar struggling to come to terms with his sexuality is interested in signing with a new agency. Charlie is quick to act but he has to play for the other team if he wants to sign a new client. He fakes coming out of the closet to become a “gay-gent.” The joke possibilities to come out of this revelation seem endless.

We are left with the start of a new relationship and the continuation of old habits. Hank, with the help of the weed Charlie snuck in for him, makes a new friend in Faith. A shared joint is a peace offering between Hank and Faith. She says rehab will be a nice vacation, but for now it’s clear old habits in California don’t die-hard (Die-Hard 2 pun is not intended). Maybe Faith isn’t quite as wholesome as she comes off in the beginning of the episode.

Sure, God hates us all, but God really hates when you use the teachings of his son as rolling paper. 

Stu Says:

[Lizzie] gave lousy blowies. Arrogant, lazy, toothy, ouchy!

A Charlie Runckle headline for the road:

Masturbating Agent Steals Ocscar-Winner Robbie Mac From CAA, Comes Out Of Closet.