Broad City Season 4 Episode 9 Review: Bedbugs

This Broad City review contains spoilers.

Broad City Season 4 Episode 9

This week on Broad City Abbi and Ilana are both faced with the stark realization that handling money is hard and doing it in the city that never sleeps adds a new level of disaster to the whole personal finance game.

Ilana, with lots of cash to burn, decides to treat her friends to lavish gifts. New bae Lincoln gets an adorable pup, Sticky, and Abbi gets a very pricey purse. Ilana, however, soon learns the downside to keeping all that cold hard cash in between her mattress sheets when she ahs Jaimie’s apartment gets infested with bedbugs Ilana brought home from Sushi  Mambo. With Sushi Mambo also infested, Ilana’s job is on hiatus and, oh yeah, she has to burn all of the cash.

Meanwhile, Abbi is having her own struggles. After struggling with money and trying to find a job, her new purse gives her the confidence to reach for the  glittery handcrafted stars of Anthropologie. Abbi snags the gig and is feeling great, until she gets mugged at gunpoint by Steve Buscemi. Before taking her new purse and what little cash she has left in her checking, he gives her a hard lesson in handling your finances like an adult. Which might have been easier to take if not for the gun pointed at her.

Want a lesson in personal finance from the OG Kweens? Well great, because that’s this weeks lesson! 

May I present to you…

Kweenomics with Abbi and Ilana:

Recycle!

Don’t knock those bottle depositories. You buy the beer, you drink the beer, why not get a little of that back.  Sure soda is bad for you, but some pocket change can make up for that, right? If you are like me, all those empty bottles are now a rat dollhouse in the corner of your apartment. Tear it town and head do your local supermarket and cash those cans in for some heavy, cumbersome, annoying change!

All Dunk-a-roos on sale now are expired. Save your cash, Hon.

This is new information for me. I will not go “throw away” all my Dunk-a-roos.

“Now that I’m old money, I need to start giving it away.”

Don’t let money harden you. Once you’ve collected a nice stack, share the love. Let those closest to you know just how much you care about them… in specific dollar amounts.

Old school money in the mattress lifestyle.  Who needs a savings account?

Abbi taught me this week that savings accounts cost money, clearly I am all up on finance things, but the truth is that money-under-the-mattress sort lifestyle of yore might sound hipster cool to you but it’s not very adult. Especially if your money is then crawling with bedbugs and your rainy day cash turns into a trash. However, assuming you live somewhere bedbugs don’t shack up, keeping the money out of the bank might be useful if you happen to get mugged one day because you’re rocking purse that makes you appear like you have a job or purpose.

Money can make you happy.

Yes.

Treat yo self!

Yes, this one is stolen from Tom Haveford, but it’s true! Of course I am not telling you to be irresponsible(that’s alcohol’s job) but I am telling you that splurging, sometimes, on something that makes you feel more confident could work out in the long run. You can have the swagger to get that job you want, the love interest you want, or maybe a heart in your late. It’s good advice. Just do it.

Pin numbers are subjective.

Your pin number probably shouldn’t be your birthday.

If you want to keep your fancy thangs and your money, don’t be a dumb white bitch.

No matter where you fall on the economic scale, don’t be an asshat.

Listen, money is hard. Hard to make, hard to keep, hard to know what to do with. By the way, does anyone know how to balance a checkbook? It’s no easy thing, especially living in a city where everything costs an arm, a leg and some of your eggs, but just be smart and practical and know when to hold them, and when to fold them.