Bob chooses the “perfect” turkey. “That turkey is our mom now,” Gene says (being his weird prepubescent self). The landlord comes by and says he needs to borrow the family…so that he can win back his old flame. In exchange for a month’s rent, they need to pretend to be the family. Bob refuses, even though the family strongly disagrees. The “family traditions” seem to have lost their luster, including the toast…everyone is embarrassed. The landlord ups it to three, then five months’ rent. They even get SCRIPTS.
On the way in, Linda tries to come up with a song, which of course is terrible, but funny. Bob has the entire dinner planned out to the minute, but I’m pretty sure it’s not going to go anything as planned, especially when the landlord tells him, “Go to the back, cook!” Yeah.
(One of the best lines so far: Tina tells Linda, “You look like an elegant sausage.”)
The kids explore the house, while Bob checks out the non-elegant kitchen. The landlord goes to get drunk and get his “sex face” on…while Bob talks to the turkey. The kids get dressed in their little outfits and must play by “arcade rules,” getting tickets for their performances, with the winner claiming a “gift.” A “family portrait” has already been painted, revealed just as the ex-girlfriend shows up…
Bob keeps talking to the turkey…and drinking a bit…getting kind of weird. The kids greet the ex-lover quite miserably, as expected, although they try their best. They are equally miserable at dinner, either trying too hard or too little. Gene goes to the kitchen for a quick game of football with a roll, then Bob asks him to send Tina in, while he keeps drinking. The wishbone is still in the turkey, but Bob pulls it out and breaks it with Tina. The kids are far more interested in getting their tickets and winning than spending time with Bob, as they have done in years past. The only thing is, Bob is drinking absinthe…ohhhhh, not good. He starts hallucinating about a giant turkey flying off on a spiraling pumpkin with the whole family.
(WARNING: Kids, do NOT drink absinthe. Adults too. That is some bad stuff there. Watch Coppola’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula and you’ll see what I mean.)
Bob insists on doing the Thanksgiving toast, but no one will do it…so he decides to go out to the table, piss drunk. Louise does a little performance art, which inspires Gene. Tina doesn’t even try. Linda tries to fake tears…then Bob comes out with the turkey to make the toast, arguing VERY LOUDLY with Linda. She kisses the landlord…which attracts the ex…who says, “THIS is a holiday!” Bob claims that Lance the turkey is a “friend” and runs off with it.
(At this point, my husband said it was “dumb TV night,” but I personally thought this episode was funny in a twisted sort of way..hee hee..)
Shelby, the ex, tries to hunt down the turkey/cook…the family goes after her..she shoots, but hits Lance the turkey instead of Bob. Why Bob keeps talking to the turkey like it’s a live person is kind of nuts, but this is the Belcher family after all. Linda finally confesses to Shelby what’s been going on, but she still refuses the landlord. Louise has won the most tickets…and gets the fake family portrait. They all eat Thanksgiving together, with Linda drinking absinthe…not good…she starts to get crazy and the family is chanting and, as usual, the episode ends abruptly…
Ok, there’s a cheesy song during the credits. This was not one of the funnier episodes, but it’s still better than The Cleveland Show.
Bob is a pretty level-headed guy most of the time, so it’s kind of funny to see him lose his marbles with the whole turkey thing, especially after he once fired the kids so they could enjoy their summer outside of the restaurant. I like how the Thanksgiving theme was carried out, with a dinner that could be called the worst Thanksgiving meal EVER. Haven’t we all had one of those, even if it wasn’t as zany as this one?
Tina’s deadpan remarks, as always.
Linda drinking the absinthe even after seeing what it did to her husband. At the end of the show, they haven’t left the landlord’s house yet, so…do things get even WORSE after that?