Bitten: Dead Meat Review

And we’re back again, only this time, no Malcolm! *audience applause track*

To catch you up from last time, here’s a few reminders of the most important things from last week: As previously mentioned, Malcolm is dead. This is all thanks to Elena, who is now missing. Along with Elena missing, no one knows where Logan is, because he jumped on the back of the tattooed karate zombies’ truck at the end of last episode and didn’t tell anyone. So now we’re got four people gone (if we include Rachael and Savannah) and one angry, angsty werewolf [Clay] trying to get some answers. Unfortunately, even though the Pack managed to capture one of the zombies, they are apparently programmed with self destruct, and before they could get anything from her (which, they probably wouldn’t have gotten anyway) she killed herself.  In their attempt to trap Aleister, one of the Coven’s members was killed, and they still don’t know where their witchling is. Things aren’t looking so good for the home team right now.

At the beginning of this weeks episode, we see a bunch of people through Elena’s drugged hazed eyes. They’re doing a bunch of tests on her while she’s strapped to a table. As you can imagine, Elena isn’t very happy about this. No to mention, they ruined a perfectly good shirt! All around her are specimen jars, one of which holds the paw of a werewolf. Uh oh, guys. But now we know where the infinite pitchfork tattoo is coming from! After getting samples from her, Elena is put into a concrete room with a metal bunk, bolted to the floor. How very prison chc! Right after she awakes from the drug induced nap time, two of the zombies come and retrieve Elena, but not after giving her a few joules to the butt. More testing? Stupidly, the doctor doing the testing asks how Elena slept; “Like a baby… shot full of drugs!” Well now, that is quite an eloquent description! This doctor seems a little off her rocker though. She says “we won’t hurt you, we just want to know about you”, then proceeds to use a machine to emit an ear splitting squeal. So much for not hurting her. Oh yeah, and she seems to have a crush on Aleister. Really, lady? Crazy is as crazy does, I guess.

Speaking of crushes,  Paige and Nick continue to bond over loss. Paige mentions that all of this is leaving her feeling powerless, and in an attempt to boost her confidence Nick points out that the first time they met, she made his eyes bleed. Awww, how sweet. And while these two are flirting away on the couch, Ruth and Jeremy are in the basement trying to bring back zombie girl long enough to get more answers. While Ruth is preparing, Paige comes downstairs and starts asking questions. Apparently no one has done the ritual necessary to raise the zombie in generations, and the reason they haven’t is because it straddles the line between light and dark magick. This coven is strictly light magick(or as they call it, right hand magick.)

Back at Camp Grenada for supes, Logan has emerged from the truck he stowed away in and almost immediately finds Rachael. After taking out some guards, Logan gets to her and they make their escape. Or rather, they try to make their escape. Aleister apparently puts his little mark on everyone he abducts, and he can use it to control them in more than one way: if anyone that is marked cross a certain point on the property (marked by metal plates on trees emblazoned with the infinite pitchfork), their heads go cablooey. At the same time that Logan and Rachael are trying to escape, so are Elena and another wolf she had a run in with at the compound are also trying to run away. The wolf (who is in wolf form) goes beyond the trees and the next we see of him is a nice splatter of blood and brain on Elena as she gives up and falls to the ground, just short of losing her own head. Logan and Rachael don’t get any further than Elena did either because the mark on Rachael’s neck started burning and she and Logan decided to give up before something worse happened.

After a short scene of communication between Elena and Savannah (through a hole that Elena kicked in the wall that separates their cells, we see Crazy Doctor Lady going to town on Aleister, inside a ring of torches and candles that surrounds a giant infinite pitchfork. Instead of enjoying what is obviously good sex (if we are to go by their grunts and what not), Aleister decides to be Mr. Complain-y and tells Crazy that she’s failed him. What does Crazy do? Why, she does something crazy! Our lovely doctor decides to inject herself with Elena’s blood after saying “you’ll never need anyone else!” This week’s episode ends on a lovely note as we see the Crazy Doctor Lady convulsing in pain atop Aleister. Sure, NOW he seems to be enoying himself. This guy really is creepy!

For anyone who’s already seen this episode, I know I skipped over a lot of stuff, but yet again there was just so much stuff thrown at us! I also don’t want to give it all away, for those who haven’t seen it yet. Whether you’ve seen it or not, we want to hear from you, fellow Bitten fans! How are you liking the season thus far? Is it meeting your expectations? Do you like that each episode is so jam packed with stuff, or do you find it a bit overwhelming? Let us know by leaving a comment below!

So, until the next time: watch out for zombies and infinite pitchforks. They can be quite tricky!