Archer: Sea Tunt – Part Two, Review

The second part of the latest Archer adventure is on.

Another episode of Archer over and another season done. It is times like this that I can get misty-eyed. How can we go on day-to-day without experiencing the schadenfreude of knowing that we are at least more competent than Isis? Well, if it has to end, they chose to go out on a strong revelation…Lana is preggers!That is right, everybody’s favorite “big brown giraffe” revealed her decision from a half-dozen episodes back; that one secret that she decided to keep from both Archer and Cyril. She chose to become a Mommy. If that is not a game changer than you need to put down the Bloody Marry you are having with your morning coffee and pay attention. Things are changing at Isis and a bionic army of baby jokes is on the way.The episode begins like the previous two season finales by picking up on the supposed suspense of a cliffhanger. This time, it is the villainous Captain Murphy, a gray-haired nut all-alone in a Sea Lab, who is threatening to attack New York, D.C. and Miami with nerve gas unless his demands are met. As he is the employee of Cheryl’s good-hearted spendthrift brother (he spent $500 million on charity in a few years), the entire Isis gang just happens to be above his Sea Lab in time to confront the madman. Based on a plan by Archer, Lana will pose as an exotic African-American reporter while Archer, Ray and Cyril will be her camera crew. Archer also makes sure that he and Cyril wear fake moustaches while Ray has to shave his off. It is just a ploy of course to find out if Ray still looks gay without one (he does), but the master disguises are nevertheless uncanny.Once in the lab, it takes five seconds with Captain Cray-Cray to figure out that he does not have nerve gas missiles, but is instead just a sad and lonely man who had to lay everyone off because of Mr. Tunt’s poor budgeting practices. He wants to save the fish because they are his only friends. It would be almost touching if Archer did not immediately shoot a hole the hull of the bridge (to be fair, Krieger turned the customized safety switch on the gun into a trigger). In the ensuing flood of water and emotion, a snack machine in the break room crushes Murphy. He dies while making one last taunt at Isis. The remaining four do-gooders are faced with a tough situation of their own when they realize that there is only three scuba suits for the four of them. One will have to “die” by drowning and be resuscitated by defibrillator. Since the remaining three would have to carry the “dead” fourth, it is assumed the worst swimmer will be the one who has to volunteer. And you know, as Archer puts it, Lana IS a woman. She counters that she cannot risk serious internal or neural damage because SHE’S PREGNANT.The news is almost as swift as is the reveal that Cyril is not the father. Faster than you can say Johnny Bastards, Cyril goes from concerned friend to Nathaniel Hawthorne-espousing cuckold. Archer takes it better, if only to enjoy Cyril’s anguish. But he also steps up and agrees to be the one who drowns, if only so that Lana can be a WAY better mother than Mallory was to him (not exactly the Everest of challenges there, Sterling). After a few off-hand sex jokes, Archer’s final words to a suited up Lana as the water consumes his lungs are, “Lana, I love you!” Did you see that? Even in an off-color snark show like this, you still have better romance writing than Stephanie Meyer could ever dream of!Lana frantically gets Archer back to the submersible and brings him back to life. Their reunion is as heartfelt as her reaction to Archer saying that she should name her baby after him. “NOPE.”It is a fast-moving ending where Archer re-paralyzes Ray when tickling him and a drunk Mallory celebrates Lana’s bun in the oven. It is such a flyby that none of them think to ask who the father is. Which is too bad, because Lana already muttered under her breath that it was a donor. That, if not a near-death experience, may be what finally could have taken the bounce out of Sterling’s step.Overall it was a curious finale. Honestly, there were not as many stunning belly laughs as there have been in previous episodes this season, such as “Un Chien Tangerine”. Indeed, other than the rapid fire sass-attacks between Lana, Ray and Cyril at the end while lugging Archer through a watery tunnel, the episode was very sedate. Yet, unlike the show’s other finales, it actually did aim to change the status quo of the series. The beauty of animated television is that nothing sticks and the writers can do pretty much whatever they want. However, there is no going back from Mommy Lana. Next year, Lana will have a kid in tow. What kinds of adventures will that yield? Archer, Lana and Baby Isis infiltrating a demented theme park? Mallory trying to pass on alcoholism as a lifestyle choice to the next generation? Wait, I got it…Archer the Babysitter!The possibilities are unlimited, so it is a mighty fine thing that an adult animated series in its fourth year, essentially infancy for the medium, chose to shake things up like this. For that, I will raise all 3.5 gallons of booze.
Quotes from THE DANGER ZONE:

“Who are you, Earl Butz?” Cheryl when Mallory thanks God for corn subsidies.“No, I don’t think it’s a trap! Although, I never do…and it very often is.” Archer.“And that’s how they died.” Lana’s reply.“Well it’s no Harry’s Bar, but here you don’t have Hemingway grabbing your tits every ten seconds.” Mallory.“Cecil, you really spent your whole inheritance on the poors?!” Cheryl.“Isis? Jesus Christ, no wonder this all went tits up.” Captain Murphy. “Forgive my candor, I just felt my spleen slip out of what was my anus.”“Awkward!” Captain Murphy to Cyril when he learns he is not the father. “Ignore me, sorry, I’m dying. Crushed by an off-brand drink machine. Oh my God, just like that old gypsy woman said!”“C’mon, admit it, you Frenched me, Ray.” Archer as he tickles Ray after CPR. “You can lie, but your boner can’t!”