Melissa is a bit of a trampy waitress who is getting it on with her fiance Bobby Ray moments before she is kidnapped by The Legion of the Damned, a wannabe bunch of Satan worshippers with names like Vascara (which I misheard as Mascara), Leviathan and Gideon. She’s going to be a sacrifice, you see, and it’s up to Bobby Ray to save her.
Unfortunately for Melissa, Bobby Ray is inept. He’s assisted by Max, the restaurant owner who doesn’t like Melissa but doesn’t mind kicking butt where Satanists are involved, and Fasmagger, the police chief who has his own brand of justice.
At the most vital point of the sacrifice, the brave trio burst in, manage to stop Satan transferring his spirit into the soon-to-be sacrificed Melissa. With the League apprehended, you’d think the that the film would have come to an end in the first act, but nooooo… the Dark Lord is an unstoppable force and, on the one day where he can walk to the Earth, he isn’t going to be stopped by this minor setback. He’s left with little choice but to possess the sacrificial chicken.
Whilst the League encounter form a change of leadership and realise that Satan isn’t the nice guy they were hoping for (especially when he’s in a chicken), it’s pretty much up to Melissa to get violent, talk trash and save the day.
The sound is presented in Dolby 2.1 and isn’t particularly clear in places, but it does the job. The film was clearly shot on DV and is quite clear, even during the many night and darkened scenes.
You don’t watch/rent/buy a film called Zombeak expecting a fantastic, cinematic experience. It’s definitely low budget; the special effects (a combination of traditional effects and some really low quality CGI) are bargain basement, the acting is substandard and the script goes from funny to abysmal and back again.
Despite all those things, it’s still a decent enough film. The script works in many places, has you laughing because it’s funny (and far too often when it’s bad) and the whole film is quite creative in its use of its budget. It doesn’t take itself seriously at all, nor is it trying to make any form of grand statement. Zombeak is just being entertaining and manages to remain so for pretty much all of the 70 minute runtime.
If that hasn’t put you off, you’ll love it. If you’ve been brought up on a diet of Saw, Hostel and modern horror, you’ll hate it (and should halve the stars I’ve given). If you have a secret (or not so secret) love of all those 1980s, low budget, schlock-and-horror straight-to-videos, it’s worth every one of those four stars!
Oh yes, there’s also a suggestion of Zombeak 2 at the very end. Zombeak was made in 2006 and the official Zombeak website doesn’t mention a sequel. Hopefully… one day…
The trailer looks like it may have been created before the official artwork for the film. It’s not bad, for a trailer.
The ‘Also Available’ section has trailers for Dr Copper (evil, torturing doctor re-appears after thirty years to brutalise teenagers), Razor’s Ring (guy gets kidnapped by a weird family and must make his bloody escape), Mr Halloween (evil man kidnaps teenagers from a small town), Backwoods Bloodbath (teenage guys get hunted by a creature, whilst their female friend seems to dance around in her underwear) and The Haunting Of Marsten Manor (group of teenagers visit a haunted house.) Some of these (obviously low budget) films look like they might be entertaining, if somewhat unoriginal.
Zombeak! is out now and available from the Den Of Geek Store.