The Ian Gibson column: Away from it all

Greetings, Geekers.

I’ve been away, as they say.

But not very far! Just inspecting my immediate environs.

Always good for a spot of rumination. And it aids the digestion too!

After a not so brief sojourn in the hills surrounding, if not actually infiltrating to the point of ‘fundamental to the structure of ‘, St Leonards; it crossed my mind that Queen Victoria either had a mischievous streak the width of St Leonards sea-front itself or had a right royal bone to pick with Burton – brikkie to the queen.

I try to imagine his reaction when Victoria e-mails him, or whatever they did in those days, to say:

“Enough with the Marble Arch holes, Burty! I’ve got a little job for you.

I rather fancy having the ‘first ever purpose built’ seaside town. With a cute little statuette of yours truly, peering sternly out to sea to scare off those darn Frenchy types. Oh, and while you’re at it, how about you make the first ever prefabricated building. I have a hunch that they’ll be a future trend. So get your patents team on it sharpish!! Where (?) Lemme see….Lemme see….how about…

…. there!”

Groan!!!

Small wonder the Burtons moved to Wales and took up acting as the easy option!

I’d gone into the hills to work, if that’s an accurate term, on my latest literary project: My dissertation on “The underlying effects; root cause; or, if you will, the fundamental motivating force of Apathy ( now there’s a full blown oxymoron if I ever wrote one! ) in the pandemonious pandemic of WTGS ( ‘Where’d the Time Go?’ Syndrome )”. Which is rapidly, or should that be ‘gradually’, replacing Procrastination as the master of the missing minutes. Not to be confused with ‘missing govt. documents’. Though, admittedly, both can happen on public transport.

I’ve been rooting around for an appropriate title for the piece. The best I’ve come up with so far: Is it ‘dietary harassment’ to ask a Vegan: “What’s your beef??!”

I realised my reputation for contemplating the imponderable had become something of a liability, when I found I’d been requisitioned for the onerous task of presenting a learned treatise on the subject : “Leonardo Davinchi/Damien Hurst –

‘Genius twins in the creative kaleidoscope?’ Or was one just a weird dude who wrote backwards? “

So I was happy to wake screaming from the nightmare to find the cats needed feeding and I hadn’t written anything for Den of Geek for ages!!

Scratching of the head ensues.

Tsk! I’m probably expected to mention comics!

Ah, don’t worry I’ll think of something.

It’ll probably come to me in a dream.

Ian Gibson writes regularly at Den Of Geek. You can read his last column here.