The Crawling Ear: Create your own Kanye West meltdown story

James celebrates Kanye West's album in his own special way...

Kanye West

Always fashionable and none-too-modest rapper Kanye West recently released a brand new album, 808s & Heartbreak. Supposedly this record finds Mr. West going in a strange new direction away from the hip-hop pop that made him famous. I don’t know much about that, but I do know this guy tends to freak out Bobby Knight-style any time the slightest misunderstanding occurs between him and any other member of the human race.

With that in mind, I now present an opportunity for you, the Den of Geek readers, to create your own Kanye West meltdown story, Enjoy!

Kanye West, the American rap star best known for ________________ (performing with his jaw wired shut / trying to make Jesus hip / kind of looking like Rodney Allen Rippy), stormed off stage in Des Moines last night after __________________ (the audience began booing his a capella version of Electric Avenue / a litany of sneaker malfunctions / he spotted a cloud somewhere in the sky). Confused audience members were heard to say, __________________ (“That was the worst Earth, Wind, & Fire concert I’ve ever seen!” / “The kazoo was definintely too low in the mix.” / “Can I get a refill on this Yoo-Hoo?”). West later ___________________ (took to his MySpace blog / appeared on Iowa public access / climbed to the top of the tallest building in Oskaloosa) and attempted to explain his actions. Said the musician, _____________________ (“IT’S JUST NOT FAIR THE WAY PEOPLE FORM THEIR OWN OPINIONS AND REFUSE TO ACCEPT MY ALI-LIKE GREATNESS!!!!!!” / “So, ah, how ’bout them Red Wings?” / “Anyone who knows me knows I hate gnomes with a passion.”) The venue, ________________________ (Bobby Miller’s Spork Hut / The Waif Exchange / Peanut n’ Dopeyz), has offered a full ticket refund plus _____________________ (three buckets of crawfish / a coupon for a free haircut / naked pictures of Aristotle Onassis) for all disappointed concertgoers. Opening act ___________________ (Fatty Sue & The Coronaries / Payne Plus Five / Lenny Brisco’s Testicles) refused to comment.

Happy Turkey Murder Day to those who celebrate it. See you next week, music lovers.

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