Geeks Vs Loneliness: when you just can’t cope

Welcome to Geeks Vs Loneliness, our weekly spot where we try and talk about problems, issues and challenges that may be affecting some of you, or people you know. The usual disclaimer applies: we have no magic wand. But hopefully there’s something here than can help you.

There’s nothing absolutely specific about what we’re nattering about this week. For we’re on about the moment in life when you feel you’re just going to crack, that you can’t cope anymore. The catalyst for that could have been anything: bad things going on, the drudge of everyday life, maybe something longer term that you’re struggling with. Heck, you might just having a bad day.

The point is you’re stuck. That, for whatever reason, you feel you can’t carry on. It might be you’re stuck just for the minute. It might be something far worse than that. The thing is, you feel unable for whatever reason to carry on.

So what do you do?

Firstly, please reach out for help. This is far easier for some than others, and we fully appreciate that. But if nobody is aware of how unhappy you are, how stuck you are, and how down you are, then it’s rare that anybody can help. There’s no malice to this: the joys of modern life mean many of us are cramming lots into a day, or missing what may be obvious tell-tale signs to some. That doesn’t mean that people don’t want to help.

If you can, then, talk to a friend or family member. Just tell them something as simple as things aren’t right, and you feel stuck. It’s absolutely fine if you can’t zero in for them on why. But just the fact that you’ve opened up that there’s a problem can be a big step.

It doesn’t always work, and it’s not always easy to find someone to tell. But again, there are people very, very keen to help. One of the misconceptions about groups such as the Samaritans, for instance, is that they’re only there when you feel utterly at the end of your tether. That’s not the case. Try emailing jo@samaritans.org if you don’t believe us. It’s an organisation – and there are many more – that would love to be able to help as early as possible.

Also: try leaving a comment here. You don’t have to use your real name, but as we’ve often pointed out, all the comments here are written by other human beings, not robots. Just because the internet appears anonymous, it doesn’t mean that humans don’t care. If the comments sections over the year of these articles have taught us anything, it’s that people are very keen to help.

A different suggestion, too: just stop for 20 minutes. Do something you wouldn’t normally do. Stop and read a book. Have a cup of tea. Go for a walk. Get out of the house or away from your desk. Try something, even something small, to break out of the cycle of every day.

It’s a harsh statement perhaps, but the problem is if you don’t elect to take action, no matter how small, it’s very hard for things to change. It’s even harder if you’ve tried before, and had no improvement. It might take two or three attempts to reach out before things genuinely change or improve. It’s very hard to convince yourself of that once you’ve been knocked back the first couple of times.

We know this is a website, and we know these are just words on a page, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t care about you. It doesn’t mean that we won’t help if there’s any way we can. Amidst all the Jason Statham appreciation and Star Wars articles, there are humans on this side of the fence as well. If all else fails, why not just try us?

You take care. You stay strong. And thanks, as always, for reading.