Geeks Vs Loneliness: dealing with loss

For this week’s Geeks Vs Loneliness, we’re revisiting a post we first ran in the middle of 2015, but it’s one that we felt was worth revisiting. We’ve updated it slightly, but the core of what we wanted to say is the same. 

This is, too, one of the hardest topics we’ve covered in this growing series of articles. There’s no easy way around it, but we felt it important to touch upon. You might need a stronger coffee than usual.

If you’ve not encountered our Geeks Vs Loneliness series before, the basics are this. We have no magic wand cures for anything, nor do we pretend to. But so many of us are facing difficult times, anxieties, loneliness and depression, and we want to talk about it. Furthermore, please: do say hello in the comments. Whether directly or indirectly affected by what we talk about, you’re welcome to join in the conversation below. And do remember: every comment is posted by a human being. Even if you just feel able at most to say ‘hello’, we’d bet someone will say hello back. Just look at the comments below from when we first posted this piece. We’ve left those comments in tact.

Unfortunately, though, there’s little easy way to deal with the loss of someone close to you. It can and generally does have both short and long term effects, and so we wanted to pass on just a few simple tips, that can hopefully help you deal with the pain. As we said, no miracle cures, but do try these if you can.

* Firstly, allow yourself to be sad, and upset. Cry. Cry lots. There’s no weakness in that, quite the contrary we’d argue. Don’t bottle up your emotions. You have every right to be upset, and you really must allow yourself to be.

* Don’t shut yourself off. Please. Inevitably, a part of you is going to want to grieve in private. But do share it, if and when you can. Talk to a friend, or someone else affected. Maybe even a counsellor. But again: don’t bottle it up, and please don’t face it alone.

* Keep going. Gah, how easy is that to write? But it’s still true. Try and keep a schedule going, try and keep eating, continue to live a day to day life. It’s going to be really hard. But try and get into some kind of routine if you can.

* A big one this. Do avoid relying on the likes of alcohol to get through difficult times. It always comes back to bite you.

* Sleep. We’ve talked about the importance of sleep before, right here.

Don’t be afraid to call for help. Groups like the Samaritans and Cruse Bereavement Care are on hand, just for moments like this. Please don’t be afraid to use them. Or, as we said, just say hello below. Start there.

One last thing: for what it’s worth, a virtual hug through the screen. All the best to you all, and stay safe.