Den Of Geek Holiday Gift Guide 2016: Stocking Stuffers

Good things come in small packages. Here's the proof.

So you need something small both in size and budget for the discerning pop culture fanatic in your life? Then allow us to offer up the perfect holiday stucking stuffers for geeks!

Nintendo Watch

Due to the high demand of the NES Classic Edition, you may or may not have your holiday season dominated by retro gaming fun. But even if you can’t score one of those consoles, you’ll still be able to reward the Nintendo fanatic in your life with this great watch from Spencer’s. The best part? You don’t have to blow into it to make it work.

Buy the Nintendo Watch, available at Spencer’s 

Batman Buttons

The fine folks over at the Goblinko Megamall have a metric ton of cool buttons and pins for sale dirt cheap. You can easily spend a good hour browsing through all the rad wearables they have available. In fact, we did, which is how we learned of their impressive assortment of 1.25″ Batman pins. Paying special attention to Jiro Kuwata Batmanga, these accessories are cool enough to make you forget that Batman v. Superman was a thing. Well, almost anyway.

Buy the Batman Buttons, available on Goblinko

Archie Meets Ramones

Look, we love Archie Comics just about as much as anyone, and even we thought it was a little odd that the Riverdale gang would meet the Ramones in the company’s latest high-profile teamup. Did we say odd? Because we meant AMAZING. This one-shot finds Archie and the gang thrust back in time to 1970s New York City (courtesy of some magic from Sabrina the Teenage Witch, obviously) where they encounter the influential punk rockers and learn to recover their own mojo so that The Archies can win a battle of the bands. Writer Alex Segura and artist Gisele Lagace have crafted a joyful comic that is not only one of the year’s best, but also a loving tribute to both Archie and Joey, Dee Dee and company.

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Buy Archie Meets Ramones on Amazon

Professor Zoom Bifold Wallet

When Wreckx-n-Effect wrote “all I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom and a poom poom, just shake your rump,” they almost certainly weren’t referring to this pleather wallet geared towards fans of The Flash’s Professor Zoom. But oh what a world it would be if they were.

Buy the Professor Zoom Bifold Wallet, available at Spencer’s

Captain America Wallet

Alternatively, you could go the heroic (and Marvel) route and get this sublime Captain America-themed wallet. It even has plenty of room to keep lists of pop culture events you are out of date on!

Buy the Captain America Walle, available at Spencer’s

Star Wars Macaroni and Cheese

Too many times stocking stuffers are packed with instantly forgettable gimmick gifts. Not so here. Delicious and sensible? Hell yes. All food should be Star Wars-shaped.

Buy the Star Wars Macaroni and Cheese on Amazon

Assassins Creed ‘Live By the Creed’ Seatbelt Belt

Pimp Your Ride may be only a televisual memory, but we like to think that its legacy lives on in the form of this custom seat belt geared towards Assassin’s Creed fans.

Buy the Assassin’s Creed ‘Live By the Creed’ Seatbelt Belt, available at Spencer’s 

Galaxy Laser Team

The retro toy lover in your life will lose their proverbial shit when you gift them these reissues of the Galaxy Laser Team. Originally released in 1978 to cash in on the Star Wars mania, these plastic aliens, heroes, villains, and space ships have a unique charm to them that just isn’t found in modern toys. Amazon is selling these in several color schemes, so collect them all and have your own weirdo war of the worlds.

Buy the Galaxy Laser Team on Amazon

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Socks

Is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe, and Everything comfy socks? According to Out of Print Clothing, yes. The company which repurposes literature-themed art for clothing, totes and other merchandise has taken Peter Cross’ Cosmic Cutie logo (as seen on the cover of the original U.S. Hitchhiker’s Guide books) and emblazoned them on a pair of cotton blend socks that includes the words “Don’t Panic” written in large friendly letters on the underside. True, Douglas Adams himself famously loathed the little green blob, but we’ve got a soft spot for the dude. And cold feet, so we need a pair.

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Buy The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Socks, available on Out of Print

One Piece Keychain

For the anime fan on your list, might we humbly suggest that you pick them up this keychain featuring Monkey D. Luffy sitting on a cloud? If there’s one thing that One Piece it inspires, it’s adventure — so this is a natural gift for anyone to take on their own exciting missions.

Buy the One Piece Keychain, available at Spencer’s

Japanese Kit Kat Bars

Searching Amazon’s candy listings yields delicious results. A few weeks back we treated ourselves to the latest assortment of new Kit Kat flavors from Japan — uji machta, sakura machta, melon, and strawberry — and our lives will never be the same again. Other non-traditional flavors like sake and pancakes are also available but we’ve yet to have the culinary fortitude to give them a try. Maybe one of you could return the flavor favor and put some of those in our stocking?

Buy Japanese Kit Kat Bars on Amazon

Adventure Time Watch

Fact: All time should be Adventure Time.

Buy the Adventure Time Watch, available at ThinkGeek

Severus Snape Coffee Mug

This coffee mug emblazoned with an image of Alan Rickman’s Severus Snape pays tribute to the late, great character actor as well as one of his most iconic characters, the tragic hero from the Harry Potter saga. True, whomever receives this will probably discover that their beverage of choice suddenly tastes of tears, but man, it’s so worth it.

Buy the Severus Snape Coffee Mug, available at Spencer’s

Harry Potter Marauder’s Map Watch

While we’re on the subject of Harry Potter, Muggles and wizards alike will agree that this suave wristwatch featuring the image of the Marauder’s Map is a terrifically cool way to keep track of your time. The down side? Knowing where you are remains your responsibility.

Buy the Harry Potter Marauder’s Map Watch, available at Spencer’s

Ecto Cooler

In yet another indication that 2016 won’t leave until it takes everything good from the world, Coca Cola recently announced that they will stop production on Hi-C Ecto Cooler at the end of the year. Fortunately, you can still get it at some stores and it is readily available (as of this writing) on Amazon. You could be kind and buy a whole case or some drink box bundles for people, or, better yet, buy a boatload of the stuff for yourself and then drop in cans of it in someone’s stocking. It’s a win-win! And yes, your probably should be stockpiling this stuff anyway to wash down your Star Wars mac and cheese and crazy Kit Kats with. Ahh, nutrition!

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Buy a pack of Ecto Cooler on Amazon

SMS Audio Chewbacca Headphones

Does Chewbacca have a Spotify account? Or is he still a physical media guy? Is he narcisstic enough to sport headphones that he resembles? Do they not have Beats in a galaxy far, far away? We have so many questions.

Buy the SMS Audio Chewbacca Headphones on Amazon

Big Trouble In Little China: The NES Game

Custom videogame creator PacnsacdaveRepors created a freeware version of an NES game based on Big Trouble in Little China that he released as freeware. The only thing that could make this ever cooler would be if it actually existed on a cartridge that could be inserted into old Nintendo machines. Which is where Etsy comes in. PacnsacdaveRepros is selling custom made cartridges featuring the game for $45 on the site, offering the only Nintendo product this year that can actually eclipse the NES Classic Edition in terms of sheer wow factor. Remember that video of the kid absolutely losing his shit when he got a SuperNES for Christmas? That would be us multiplied by a billion if we had this in our stocking.

Buy Big Trouble In Little China: The NES Game on Etsy

Game of Thrones Wine Stoppers

Pick up a set of custom Game of Thrones wine stoppers from pop culture artist Mike Gaiss. You can snag these for the wine lovers in your family on his website along with other custom sculpture work from the Brooklyn-based artist.

Buy a Game of Thrones Wine Stopper here

LootCrate & GeekFuel Subscriptions

Do we have any fans of Christmas Eve on Sesame Street in the house? The overriding sentiment of that program is to “keep Christmas with you all through the year.” Thanks to services like LootCrate and GeekFuel, you can keep the holidays in the hearts of anyone you have to shop for. Each of these companies sends a monthly box to subscribers that is crammed with delightfully nerdy stuff like comics, action figures, limited edition collectibles, etc.

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Breaking them down, LootCrate offers the more varied selection in terms of options (you can subscribe to crates focusing on anime, gaming, and pets, among others), but on the flip side each of GeekFuel’s boxes is valued at over $50  — and each includes an exclusive T-shirt and full downloadable game — and they regularly feature items from properties like The Simpsons, Star Wars, Doctor Who, Game of Thrones, etc. Both of these companies offers a wide range of pricing and subscription plans as well, so shop around. Or just get someone a subscription to both and they’ll, and you, will win the holiday season. Variety is the spice of life, and getting cool shit in the mail never gets tired.

Buy a Lootcrate Subscription here

Buy a GeekFuel Subscription here

Lazy Elf’s Guide To Gift Cards

So you scrolled to the bottom of the list and realized you’re short on time and wrapping paper. A gift card might be your last and best conceivable option. Don’t be lazy about it! Put together a package that will create a memorable night out for your fellow geek. Since there are about 1,000 superhero flicks coming out in 2017, we suggest a pairing a Fandango gift card for the caped friend or relative in your life with a Grubhub/Seamless gift card. There is literally no way to get movie tickets and food to your home more efficient than this combination.