A guide to avoiding Piers Morgan in modern motion pictures

Feature Simon Brew 4 Apr 2014 - 12:05

Unfortunately, Piers Morgan has started popping up in a few movies now. Fortunately, we've figured out how you can avoid seeing him

For some reason, a growing number of American movies appear to be drafting in Piers Morgan to appear in small roles as a news reader/interviewer/general irritant. For those of us who really like movies, Morgan’s presence in them has not yet been a welcome one, and we’ve now heard that he’s recorded a scene or two for the upcoming Entourage film.

This article then is intended as a work of public service, and we’ll keep it up to date with Morgan’s appearances in film, should people continue to indulge him. So: here are the films to date that Morgan has appeared in, and the specific moments you need to skip if you want your viewing experience to be Morgan-free....

WORLD WAR Z

Bit you need to fast forward through: 0.02.14 - 0.02.16

The most lucrative zombie movie of all time, World War Z overcame a lot of negative publicity in the run up to its release, before promptly helping itself to over $500m at the worldwide box office.

You need to be alert to the Morgan moment though, as it hits you very early on. Furthermore, even when his face disappears off the screen, his voice continues for another second, so don't be complacent. Morgan plays the role here as presenter of the much-missed CNN show, Piers Morgan Tonight. We feel for Marco Beltrami, who has done some strong scores across his career, for having his screen credit besmirched by the man.

Morgan's character issues a grave warning about CO2 emissions, and then disappears for the rest of the film. It's relevant to the film, but not pivotal. As such, his seconds of screen time are safely skipped.

It's unclear at this stage whether Morgan's contracted for the sequel. Stay frosty.

THE CAMPAIGN

Bit you need to fast forward through: 0.58.54 to 1.01.31

Not a great movie this, but it still has a couple of chuckles to it. Will Ferrell stars as Cam Brady, a long-term congressman expecting his usual re-election. But then a rival, played by Zach Galifianakis, enters the race. The film follows their fight for election, with Jay Roach - who helmed the excellent TV movie Game Change (as well as the Austin Powers trilogy) - directing.

The Morgan moment (actually closer to three moments) sees the former talent show judge cast as presenter of the much-missed CNN show, Piers Morgan Tonight. He interviews Ferrell's Cam Brady, taking on the persona of a serious interviewer. The running gag is that Morgan has to pretend to be annoyed at the product placement going on in front of him. It's not a very funny gag, and nothing that couldn't be beaten by getting a loved one to tickle you for a few seconds.

Do note: Morgan's scene goes on for a bit, unfortunately. More fortunately, it is entirely skippable, with no damage to the end film.

FLIGHT

Bits you need to fast forward through: 0.57.14 - 0.57.16 and 1.22.30 - 1.22.48

Stay strong: he appears in this one twice. In Robert Zemeckis' Flight - a film that we like an awful lot - Piers Morgan takes on a small role as presenter of the much-missed CNN show, Piers Morgan Tonight.

The first sighting of him is in a bar scene just before the half way point of the movie. We've never been in a bar in real life that has a news channel playing in the background (sports news yes, main news no), but movies tend to like that sort of thing. Hence, in the background is a television, and on that television is the face of Piers Morgan. On the plus side, you can barely hear him, although he's talking about Denzel Washington's character in the film. If you squint your eye in the right way, you can cut out the part of the screen that Morgan appears in.

But just when you've avoided him once, he pops up just over 20 minutes later, and Zemeckis makes the squint approach harder by zooming closer to the TV screen this time. Morgan reprises the same role here, as the presenter of the much-missed CNN show, Piers Morgan Tonight, and his voice is a little more audible in this short segment. In fact, you hear his voice before you see him (Zemeckis has long been an underrated proponent of horror cinema techniques), and he delivers an update on the investigation into the plane crash in Flight.

You can skip both Morgan appearances with no damage to the end film. Just remember not to relax after you've missed him the first time.

ONE CHANCE

Bits you need to fast forward through: 1.26.29 - 1.26.32, 1.27.34 - 1.27.35,  1.27.52 - 1.28.00, 1.29.32 - 1.29.33 and 1.29.41 - 1.33.08

One Chance is, to date, the only film that Piers Morgan appears in where it's pretty much impossible to avoid him, and leave the film in tact. So if you want to watch director David Frankel's telling of Paul Potts' story, starring James Corden, you do so firmly at your own risk.

In the film, Piers Morgan takes on a small role as the judge on a television talent contest, providing valuable insights into who can sing and who can't. He appears in archive footage in the film's big third act audition scene. After a couple of quick shots in passing, we see him involved in judging someone's talent. He seems to indicate that the person in question has very little. The person in question is humiliated on national television. Chortles ensue.

When it comes to the audtion moment itself, we see at first that Morgan is unimpressed. Throughout the course of the audtion, he then looks more impressed, before finally looking very impressed. Amanda Holden cries.

Mr Morgan then has lines. He tells Paul Potts that he is one of the favourites to win Britain's Got Talent. Spoiler: He says "absolutely yes" when asked if Potts should progress to the next round of the televised talent show in question.

As compensation for prolonged Morgan exposure, Colm Meaney hits someone in the next scene. But we must still reiterate: it's virtually impossible to skip the Morgan moments here, and get the full benefit of the film's ending. What a sombre note to end on.

This article will be updated with further movie sightings of Piers Morgan as and when we encounter them.

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Disqus - noscript

A valuable public service. Thank you, Den of Geek.

Love the screen grabs, you really captured the man.

I believe this is the single most useful article I've seen on this site ever.

Thanks you for your proud service Den of Geek

If he appears in any film where he meets a grizzly demise you will be sure to tell us? I would happily watch that film over and over and over

While I fully appreciate you providing us with this highly useful cautionary article, I do question the necessity of filling it with pictures of the man. It seems paradoxical to me.

I was so disappointed when he cropped up on the Entourage set. I hope Drama uppercuts him. Or they just cut his scenes. Either work.

This makes me think of 'A Touch of Cloth'

Not a movie, but a TV show called Headcases (think Spitting Image/2DTV, but weird computer animation) had the Piers Morgan Show... I won't ruin it. Just search on YouTube, there's one by a user called tickblack that has a couple to start you off!

"The image of a Piers Morgan, becomes a Piers Morgan..."

I know he's not everyone's cup of tea, but this seems a little mean spirited given the timing.

Be a star Den of Geek, be a star.

Wonderful! I could watch that on a loop all day! Thanks Metoo

I'm not familiar with this guy, can someone explain to me why the hate?

Can we not just make him ring a bell when he's out in public, so everyone can avoid him?

He's a former newspaper editor, who was sacked for publishing fake photographs depicting soldiers allegedly abusing prisoners. He tried to justify it by saying, "The lie brought attention to the truth." He is slime personified. A self-serving, mega-egomaniac, middle class wannabe. Google him, and you'll see just how roundly despised he is, and with good reason.

Oh John-Paul, you must be the nicest person in the world.

He crops up in archive footage used in "One Chance" too. Nasty surprise at the end of the otherwise pedestrian biopic.

I would love a T-Shirt that reads.....'I miss the much-missed CNN show, Piers Morgan Tonight'

Those screen caps!

That comment has won the internet today!

there is a word, a word I would like to use, a word that I cannot use because it is a forbidden word, only this specific word can be used to describe this particular person, the man is a C*&$.

To be fair, Piers Morgan lacks scruples, but makes up for it with a lack of charm.

Aww I was planning on seeing flight.

And he has this uncanny ability to make you root for the person who's arguing against your opinion because of his infuriating arrogance and smugness.

Damn you DoG. To learn how to avoid his mug we have to scroll past several pictures of his annoying mug!!! We expect better of you DoG

Thank you, I tend to involuntarily puke when i see Piers Morgan and i'm a Brit for Christ sake.

I didn't know much about the guy either, but went ahead and googled his name per Harry's suggestion and THIS article appeared at the very top for some reason! that's quite funny.

You guys at DoG need knighthoods, you have saved millions of people from Piers Morgan's face. Thank you.

Aww bless. ;-) oxoxo

Whatever you say about Piers Morgan ... nope, i got nothing...

I think you win an internet or humanitarian award for this type of service!

Is there any way possible the good people of Great Britain would take this clown back? I know our President hasn't treated your great country with the respect you deserve, but for the sake of the American people, please, please. please, help us.

Think I speak for all Brits when I say no thanks, we don't want him back! Maybe you guys can forward him on to Australia (sorry Australia) :)

Australia already have snakes, sharks, crocodiles and spiders the size of your face to contend with. Sending him there just wouldn't be fair to Australians.

Antarctica on the other hand...

Warning: This film contains scenes of extreme snuff violence, sexual depravity, cruelty to animals, child labour, flashing images... and a cameo from Piers Morgan between 0.46.17 and 0.52.01."

I've met Piers Morgan briefly and he seemed alright to me.

Pretty much. :-)

I really like Piers and think he's really talented. He should be in more movies.

No Piers Morgans were harmed during the filming of this movie...unfortunately.

I totally agree he should be in more films as that way he will be on our television screens less.

As a newspaper editor,he participated in hacking the phones of celebrities, just to get dirt on them. Particularly infamous incidents involve Sir Paul McCartney during his divorce,and the family of a missing child.

As Professor Elemental said in apologies about people Britain has let loose on the world at the end of his song "I'm British":
"And most of all, we are so terribly, terribly sorry for Piers Morgan."

We actually held this article back a few weeks for that reason! - Simon

Thank you, this man is scum for what he made up about British soldiers on tour in Afghanistan

Award-worthy article. To kill one's father is "patricide"; to kill one's brother is "fratricide"; to kill Piers Morgan would be "countryside"...

I believe North Korea would welcome a man of Morgan's talent.

I love when real news reporters from the time period the movie was set inor news anchormen comments on reports or events of the film at the end of the movie. Best expamples was in Austin Powers: at the end Jerry Springer interviewing Dr. evil and his Son, my favorite is when Larry king or David letterman is interviewing the Heros of the movie at the end.
Oh and RTD Doctor who done this in all his series Seris openers, mid season invasions and finales. Love it.

I d love to see him reporting on an alien invasion in a movie but now that his gone that will never be.

It's sad he's gone.

To all you Americans: You hated him because he told the truth about your "Messed up Gun loving horrible country"

To all the Brits: you all hate him because some of you are begrudges who hate to see a fellow Britt do well in the US.

All of the Haters can go to Hell.

Piers Morgan told the TRUTH.

Actually Americans dislike Morgan because of the arrogant way he talked down their country and constitution with clearly no understanding of its importance to them.

As for us Brits, we dislike him for several reasons. The first is he was responsible for an attempted smear of the British Army. The second is that he was one of the scum who thought illegal phone tapping was a perfectly acceptable method of gathering news.

I'm sure Zimbabwe would appreciate his peculiar brand of investigation and constructive criticism. I mean, Bob Mugabe just loves having the old colonial masters telling him where he's gone wrong.

Shouldn`t we threaten to send Bonnie Greer back to the USA if Moron is in any danger of getting back into the country.
Unless it`s as a test dummy for the gun-fearing vulnerable youngsters of Stockwell and Snaresbrook...I`m sure HE could broker a deal for Operation Trident re not using those guns of theirs!
The USA was about to bin its guns, but Piers was hauled off stage too early-let him renew his quest in SW9!
I`d watch it anyway!

To be honest Piers is only appearing now in movies and TV shows as the anchor - had to mind the spelling there - of the nightly prime time CNN news/talk show as Larry King was before him who also appeared in movies; Ghostbusters, Shrek 2 & sequels, John Q, Long Kiss Goodnight, Contact, Mad City, America's Sweethearts, Bullworth, The Jackel, Dave, Exorcist III, Bee Movie also TV shows; 30 Rock, WWE and Gravity Falls.

Now Piers has left CNN he should appear less as his sucessor will take his place in these as he himself did Larry King's.

He'll have to do a bit more than pose when he takes over as Spurs' manager next season........

Aw i wish he was in Gravity and Frozen and 12 years a slave to piers morgan

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