As we heard late last week, the plans for a rebooted RoboCop are continuing apace, with Elite Squad director José Padilha signed up to front the project, with words provided by writer Josh Zeturner.

It’s far too early at this stage to predict what kind of film will come about as the result of their collaboration, but for now, we hold firmly onto the hope that Padilha and Zeturner can come up with a 21st century RoboCop worthy of the law enforcer’s name.

It’s with cautious optimism, therefore, that we offer up a list of what we’d like to see in the forthcoming RoboCop reboot…

A decent nemesis

Part of what made the original movie so spectacular was its diverse range of bad guys, which ranged from criminal-class scumbags like Clarence Boddicker and his army of goons, to corporate-level sociopaths like OCP boss Dick Jones.

Best of all, of course, was the lumbering metal monstrosity ED-209, a superbly designed mecha that was simultaneously menacing and ridiculous; it was quite capable of turning a low-level OCP executive into a yuppie smoothie, yet flailed around like a drunken chicken when attempting to negotiate a flight of stairs.

RoboCop’s increasingly dismal sequels failed to replicate the menace of the first film’s antagonists, human or otherwise. RoboCop 2’s drug-addled cyborg was a poor replacement for deadly ED, while the less said about the second sequel’s ninja droids, the better.

A human element

While still an action movie at its core, it was the addition of RoboCop’s tragic back story that propelled the film into classic status. More than a mere armoured warrior, RoboCop was a human trapped inside the shell of a machine, haunted by memories of his past life.

Thanks in part to Peter Weller’s performance, the story managed to be both poignant and exciting. The pathos is vital to the action, too, because we become so heavily invested in RoboCop’s character, we’re anxious to see him exact his revenge on the villains who killed him.

Satire

RoboCop is a classic film, undoubtedly, but it’s also a product of its time, a satire of a long-gone 80s regime. Everything from the reporting style of news networks, the false cheer of TV ads, to the self-interested ruthlessness of Reaganomics are subjected to RoboCop’s withering, satirical eye, and the film’s daubed with a broad streak of black humour.

This wry wit is another of the film’s vital elements, a much-needed sugar coating for the startling levels of violence that became Paul Verhoeven’s trademark in this film and the rest of hi 80s and 90s Hollywood output.

RoboCop 2, despite some decent spoof commercials that aped those in the first film, had little else to impart other than a heavy-handed anti-drugs subtext, and is infinitely less interesting as a result.

A worthwhile stand-alone movie

As great as RoboCop is (a fact I think we’ve established fairly well by now), we don’t want to see a reboot that cagily lifts dialogue or scenes from the original. While not a bad film, Nimród Antal’s Predators was too weighed down with reverence for the 1987 classic to work as a satisfying stand-alone experience.

RoboCop worked because it was bold and, at the time, unusual. A film that attempts to recreate the style of Verhoeven’s film, or merely regurgitates its story, is sure to fade from memory within weeks.

Then again, what should a 21st century RoboCop be like? Should he still plod along, cowboy-like, as Peter Weller’s incarnation did, or would a more mobile and athletic cyborg law enforcer work better for a modern audience? Whatever the reboot brings, its choices are sure to provoke some form of controversy.

Get a decent, physical actor to play RoboCop

As mentioned earlier, Peter Weller’s performance in RoboCop is excellent, and it’s surprising that his contribution to the film isn’t mentioned more often. Clad for much of the film in a restrictive suit that leaves little more than his mouth exposed, Weller had to channel the abilities of a mime artist in order to bring his character to life. Thanks to Weller’s skill, RoboCop is transformed from a mere man in a plastic suit to a convincingly weighty, imposing future law enforcer.

Please, please make it an R

By the time RoboCop 3 rolled around, the franchise had been thoroughly defanged, and had drifted far from the violent shores of the first movie. RoboCop needs to be violent to work as a character. He’s a walking pastiche of a generation of cowboys and right-wing cops like Dirty Harry, who shot first and asked questions later.

Verhoeven’s film took the aggression of those earlier heroes to its absurd, logical extreme: RoboCop was a law enforcer capable of little else but shooting things. It’s no coincidence that, while he carried a gun that never needed to be reloaded, a can of pepperspray or pair of handcuffs were nowhere to be seen.

Any attempt to tone down or sanitise RoboCop or the criminals he pursues will merely result in another tedious, inoffensive film like RoboCop 3, and that’s something none of us wants to see.

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