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Are these the 20 worst sequel titles of all time?
Simon Brew
If you're making a sequel to a hit film, you want a name that's going to stand out. Sadly, it doesn't always go to plan...
Published on Sep 16, 2008
Back in the early days, Hollywood used to be content with just adding a Roman numeral to the end of a film’s title, and that was that: sequel named. In recent times, however, the subtitle has come into its own, with the number sometimes dropped altogether as if to try and make us forget just how many movies in a given franchise we’ve managed to sit through.Of course, the subtitle has been around for many years, and our favourite - Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo, natch – dates back a couple of decades. However, in the attempt to come up with a title that distinguishes their films, Hollywood has come up with this little lot…
Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction
There’s only one risk here, and that’s the one some nutter made to bring Sharon Stone back to the franchise that, er, she was never the main star of anyway. Basic Instinct 2: Pissing Money Away would probably have been more accurate.
Batman Forever
It sounds like a cheap football chant or something a boy band would come out with. Where exactly did Batman Forever come from, and what was wrong with ‘Batman III’?
Highlander 2: The Quickening
The what?
2 Fast 2 Furious
Any title that bases itself around any kind of text speak deserves humiliating. See also the forthcoming Madagascar sequel, Step Up 2 The Streets, and no doubt plenty more teen movies that are currently production. What next? Gr8 Xpect8shuns?
Speed 2: Cruise Control
Is it just us who would think that Cruise Control didn’t necessarily reflect something going really, really fast? Thus, either the word Speed needed to be replaced by ‘Reasonably Fast’, or the subtitle had to go. Neither of these things happened.
Darkman 3: Die, Darkman, Die
Oh, they just couldn’t arsed, could they? It’s perhaps a great and iconic title for all the wrong reasons. We might even secretly love it…
X-Files: I Want To Believe
How apt did that prove to be? It was never the most intriguing title, and however much Fox wanted to believe that lots of people would wait a decade for a legal pissing contest to be sorted out, it was proven very, very wrong when the film – which wasn’t too bad, to be fair, pulled in just $20m at the US box office.
Fortress 2: Re-Entry
Some films get renamed for their porn movie equivalent. Not this one. It’s still an amazingly-rubbish-but-great film though.
Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde
Sigh. Appreciating that political ambitions are the point of the film, what is the point of the title? It’s hardly the most patriotic of flicks anyway, but if you’re going to do a cheap gag in your title, at least make it work. Sister Act 2 is a crappy film, but at least acknowledge they made an effort with ‘Back In The Habit’ as the subtitle. But Red, White & Blonde? Sheesh.
Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace
Or, more accurately, the effects budget was cut and we wanted to lower people’s expectations further.
The Howling III: The Marsupials
The pity here is that we really like the first Howling. But The Marsupials? That ain’t going to make us pick the box up at Blockbuster. Unlike Howling II: Your Sister Is A Werewolf. We’d snap that up in a second.
Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
Just as with the forthcoming Quantum of Solace, this was a title that we didn’t warm to at first. The difference though is that we haven’t warmed to it since, either.
Under Siege 2: Dark Territory
The epitome of a pointless subtitle. We would have been quite happy with Under Siege 2. Dark Territory, to us, didn’t reflect in any way that the man Seagal would be fighting Eric Bagosian on a train.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze
Surely, surely, brevity would have been joy here? That title could barely fit on the crappy plastic cup they tried to flog you at the snack stand…
I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer
Fair enough. But will you stop boffing on about it then?
Tomb Raider: The Cradle Of Life
When all else fails, pretentiousness will always have its place…
Die Hard With A Vengeance
It’s to the credit of the Die Hard franchise that it’s always given itself the worst titles to its movies. Die Harder we can just about deal with, but this clunky title to the third flick is, again, just so nobody has to call it Die Hard 3. But it was a better name than…
Live Free Or Die Hard
Pur-lease. At least in the UK they switched it back to its original moniker of Die Hard 4.0. What the hell is Live Free Or Die Hard supposed to actually mean?
Superman IV: The Quest For Peace
Yup. Peace is just want you want in an action-packed superhero flick.
Leprechaun 5: Leprechaun In The Hood/ Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood
Or: what happens when you let the work experience kid choose a name.
Got any more? Nobody is allowed to add the proposed Seriously Dude, Where Is My Car. Because we, er, kinda like that one…
Users Comments
Re: Are these the 20 worst sequel titles of all time?
Posted By moakle 1 September 16, 2008 10:33:02 AM
I actually think Batman Begins is pretty rubbish. I wouldn't have expected Star Wars Starts for Episode One.
Re: Are these the 20 worst sequel titles of all time?
Posted By twosheds 1 September 16, 2008 12:37:00 PM
Howling 3 is possibly the only Howling sequel worth a look.
Re: Are these the 20 worst sequel titles of all time?
Posted By James-Clayton 1 September 16, 2008 02:40:10 PM
Hilarious list!
Live Free or Die Hard deserves a bit of stick, but not as much as it's Euro-release label: Die Hard 4.0 (a really crap attempt to embed an old brand with a cyber-chic edge if ever there was one).
Dumb and Dumberer is also appalling, and Final Destination 2 and Final Destination 3 also completely undermine each previous Final Destination. Either it's the Final Destinaion or it's not!
Re: Are these the 20 worst sequel titles of all time?
Posted By fowlermovies 1 September 16, 2008 04:00:03 PM
I think the wrong Batman and wrong TMNT sequels were acknowledged.
Batman & Robin holds the throne for worst Batman ever, hands down. I believe very few would argue with me. "Tonight's forecast: a freeze is coming over Gotham."
And Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (aka TMNT III: Turtles In Time) was the worst of the bunch. I have a hard time even remembering what happened in that movie. I believe I blocked it out of my mind.
And as much as I love the Whole Nine Yards, the Whole Ten Yards definitely could have a spot on the list. I was mildly amused at points but never fully laughed once, something Nine Yards easily accomplished multiple times.
Re: Are these the 20 worst sequel titles of all time?
Posted By creativewriter1985 1 September 16, 2008 08:52:30 PM
Mr B, I have to express some mirth at the fact you know the full title of the second Legally Blonde film... I agree, it's crap, but it's also funny that you know it! ;)
Re: Are these the 20 worst sequel titles of all time?
Posted By RonHogan 1 September 17, 2008 03:28:19 AM
What the hell is Live Free Or Die Hard supposed to actually mean?
Time for an American history lesson. "Live free or die" is the state motto of New Hampshire, and it's an iconic quote from Revolutionary War General John Stark.
Re: Are these the 20 worst sequel titles of all time?
Posted By simonbrew 1 September 17, 2008 01:31:38 PM
Ron, I stand corrected. It's still a shit title, though.
Re: Are these the 20 worst sequel titles of all time?
Posted By sks7772002 1 September 18, 2008 03:45:46 PM
Step-Up 2 The Streets doesn't actually have text speak in it. It is actually Step-Up 2 and the subtext is The Street, which makes sense if you watch the movie because the big dance competition in the movie is called The Street.
Re: Are these the 20 worst sequel titles of all time?
Posted By simonbrew 1 September 18, 2008 09:41:27 PM
No, I get that. But if that's what they were trying to do, then it needs a colon. As it stands, it just comes across as distorted text blah.
Re: Are these the 20 worst sequel titles of all time?
Posted By MovieNut14 1 October 27, 2008 02:14:11 AM
I ahve to agree on the title for the third Batman movie. Tim Burton said it "sounds like a tattoo that somebody would get when they're on drugs or something."
Re: Are these the 20 worst sequel titles of all time?
Posted By cpetersen 1 November 15, 2008 02:31:44 PM
For some reason, "Die Hard With a Vengeance" was given the equally shitty title "Die Hard: Mega Hard" in Denmark.
Re: Are these the 20 worst sequel titles of all time?
Posted By dascoyne 1 January 1, 2009 06:57:43 PM
You missed a major one: Rambo: First Blood Part Two
Re: Are these the 20 worst sequel titles of all time?
Posted By docemmetttbrown 1 January 9, 2009 12:12:26 PM
I think I Still Know What You Did Last Summer is worse than I Always Know...
It adds nothing that we already didn't know from the original other than that the killer has a good memory.
Re: Are these the 20 worst sequel titles of all time?
Posted By lostboy 1 March 8, 2009 10:24:42 PM
Did anyone see Halloween 4-6,the titles match the context of the movies. But they got the subtitle part, "return", "revenge", and "curse" from the "pink panther" movies for god sakes. That's pretty bad.
Re: Are these the 20 worst sequel titles of all time?
Posted By bjer0110 1 June 2, 2009 04:44:13 PM
Attack of the Clones should be on the list as it was completely horrendous. I don't mind TMNT 2. I grew up on that movie. The Die Hards are not horrendous, especially with a Vengeance. If anything Die Hard 2 was far worse. And where's X Men 3?
Re: Are these the 20 worst sequel titles of all time?
Posted By jinste 1 June 6, 2009 10:31:55 PM
How about Batman and Robin?Makes them sound like a gay couple or something.Also,to be more topical-Terminator:Salvation.You get the impression the machines have been saved,not the human race.And its a shit movie as well.
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Posted By y222y1 1 September 27, 2009 06:56:09 PM
How about Batman and Robin?Makes them sound like a gay couple or something.Also,to be more topical-Terminator:Salvation.You get the impression the machines have
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Oh dear.
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