True Blood season 3 episode 9 review

Season three of the blood thirstiest show on TV continues with more spine-ripping, vamp shooting, redneck beating action…

3.9 Everything Is Broken

Having witnessed the glorious megalomania of Russell Edgington over the past few weeks, Everything Is Broken sees His Majesty finally tip the scales and descend into plain mania after discovering the puddle of goo that once was Talbot. His pain at the loss is almost touching, until he starts carting around what’s left of his lover in a particularly fine crystal decanter. Talbot always had a sartorial eye, but even he would have trouble with that outfit.

Talking to inanimate objects is never a good sign, even when they’re holding the sloppy remains of your beloved deceased, and the one-sided conversation heralds the end of the supremely cocky King, and the introduction of the crazed, blood-thirsty vampire within.

His first act, to de-spine an anchorman on live TV, essentially guarantees the political death of the Vampire Rights amendment. The ensuing rant essentially guarantees his own demise, despite washing their hands of Eric’s plan to kill His Majesty, the mysterious Authority surely have no choice but to make absolutely sure our favourite Sheriff ends him, in no uncertain terms.

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Having said that, Russell is an ancient vampire, and killing him won’t be easy. Hands up all those who think Sookie might be prevailed upon to help finish the job? Providing Bill doesn’t mess it up, of course. His trip to the garden from the psychic’s coma dream can’t be a positive sign. Even if he does know what Sookie is.

In an episode characterized by men who’ve clearly lost the plot, even Sam lets his seemingly impenetrable cool slip for a few minutes, beating Crystal’s redneck daddy to within an inch of his life. Clearly, having Tommy around is not working out too well for the barman. Apparently in Bon Temps, testosterone is passed on through simply sharing oxygen. Or can it be that Sam is just a little jealous of his little brother?

Whatever the reason, both Sam and Jason are about to get on the receiving end of something a little more complicated than plain, ol’ fashioned redneck drug dealers. Crystal’s family is definitely hiding something, and with any luck, we’re about to find out what.

Of course, no episode with so many psychotic men would be complete without the super-psychotic Franklin, (briefly) back for real. Luckily for Franklin, having left them on Talbot’s good linen, brains aren’t a necessity for his particular pathology.

This time, Tara fights back in the only way she knows how, with insults and harsh truths, and although she doesn’t do it herself, Franklin‘s actual death provides some of the therapy she desperately needs. And, of course, it doesn’t hurt that Jason Stackhouse came to her rescue once again. He’s always on hand to help a pretty lady in distress.

Clearly as a counterpoint to the male-oriented violence, the previously put-upon women of Bon Temps have finally started fighting for themselves. Sookie has accepted her slow transformation to something altogether darker, thanks to kicking trampy Debbie’s ass. Tara took her first steps to dealing with the Franklin-related events at group therapy, and Arlene admitted that she definitely does not want Renee’s baby, all of which would have been impossible even two episodes ago. 

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And not before time, in a show with so many feisty women, it’s been a little strange to see the change in the female population recently, and with the coming Eric/Russell/were showdown, surely they’re going to need all the feisty they can find.

Thankfully, there’s a new waitress in town, on hand to help unburden her co-workers. Holly is quickly becoming everybody’s agony aunt, but considering this is Bon Temps, it’s more than likely that her confidants will soon regret having trusted her…

With its political machinations, and even a glimpse of the mysterious Authority, Everything Is Broken revealed the hypocrisy evident in the vampire hierarchy, but what we’re yet to see is how far they’ll go to stay legitimate.

Mainstreaming is big business, and the horror show broadcast will cost them dearly. With just three episodes left, something has to give and it’s unlikely that Russell will make it to the final reel. Which, after his genius throw over to the weather girl, will almost be a shame.

Read our review of episode 8 here