The Amazon Movie Review Quiz

Can you guess the film just from the feedback that customers of Amazon have given it? Here’s your chance to find out…

Earlier in the year, we set you a quiz where we simply took quotes from the user reviews left behind at Amazon.com, and asked you to identify the movie from them. The cads that we are we managed to blank out the movie names in said quotes where appropriate, but even those of you who didn’t Google the answers seemed to do quite well on it.

By popular demand – seriously, we had two people ask – we’ve done it again, too! So your quest is simple: you just need to check out the reviews of each mystery film, and from those, work out what they are. We’ve not thrown obscure movies into the mix, although there are one or two tricky ones. And – yes! – to save you the trouble of cheating, you can click for the answers at the bottom! Hurray!

Good luck…

MYSTERY FILM 1

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“A really unique concept that could have fallen flat on its face; instead, it is a triumph of film comedy. Absolutely side-splitting, so be careful eating/drinking while you’re watching it, lest you spew chunks.”

“Posters who whine about the profanity miss the point. Too bad they cant get past their own biases and enjoy this for what it is.”

“This is the single greatest movie ever made, or ever will be made. From the guns to the decapitated heads to the explosive ending, there is zero chance that anyone who enjoys cinema would not appreciate this instant classic. Or, should I say that if you don’t enjoy this movie, please stay away from me, because life is too short to be around people that can’t appreciate comedy like this.”

 

MYSTERY FILM 2

“This movie’s got it all, don’t listen to the haters, nay-sayers, and squirreley whiners; if you like manly action movies than you will like XXX”

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“THis film is amazing. Sure it’s a bit slower than XXX but it still does have great action in it, and even a cool opening credits scene. Oh, and the action scene towards the ending with the explosions and the collapsing floors was AWESOME!!!!”

“I liked this movie a lot i dont get y poeple are talking bad about it the last XXX movies poeple liked i watched it i fell asleep BORING”

 

MYSTERY FILM 3

“This is my FAVORITE movie of ’08! I am not really a fan of action movies..but i LOVED this movie! I actually just watched it because of XXXXXX..but i fell in love with the movie! i saw it twice in the theatre! and now i am getting it on DVD! i will probably watch this movie like once a week! LOVED IT!”

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“THIS IS THE MOST EXCITING MOVIE I HAVE SEEN IN A LONG TIME! I HOPE YOU WILL HAVE MORE MOVIES WITH SUCH ACTION IN THEM AS THIS ONE DOES.”

“THIS MOVIE IS FANTASTIC, I HAVE WATCHED 4 TIMES SO FAR. FINALLY A GOOD MOVIE. PLENTY OF SUSPENSE, ACTION, AND MYSTERY. ONCE AGAIN THIS IS WHAT KIND OF MOVIES HOLLYWOOD SHOULD BE MAKING.”

 

MYSTERY FILM 4

“Talk about copycats! This movie has no ORIGINALITY! Its like stealing and combining Terminator 2, Japanamation, and John Woo movies all into one!”

“Since when does no-talent acting and lots of guns make a great movie? Ok, it had lots of special effects to keep you from realizing it was missing a plot and real acting, but then so did What Dreams May Come, and nobody is calling that great”

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MYSTERY FILM 5

“Five Star Schadenfreude”

“I think I totally understood this movie,yet I am not sure,possibly I overthink things,but it seemed obvious to me”

“I guess everyone is a critiqe… this movie isnt as bad as everyone was saying really, it was full of suspense and drama throughout, the thing was you never really knew when people were going to just going to freeze and all of a sudden jump into a lions cage to get mauled..which was kind gruesome”

 

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MYSTERY FILM 6

“The movie is definitely not a contender for an Oscar (nor a history lesson)”

“Please don’t whack this movie with your critics. It is first major role for XXXX. And I think he done it well.”

“i didnt think it would work but i was greatly suprised this movie blew my mind. it has everything a action movie needs: big boobed girls, wars, comedy, and plot. i reccomend this movie to anyone.”

 

MYSTERY FILM 7

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“We enjoyed this movie, even my husband watched the entire DVD.”

“It was overwrought, predictable, mostly unhappy, snobby, and badly-written – to the point of toilet jokes. Everything about this movie is heavy-handed.

Really, really awful. And the awfulness goes on, and on, and on, and on, for *two*-*and*-*a*-*half* hours. Two-and-a-half hours I’ll never have again. My God! I thought I was going to have to chew my head off.”

“And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.”

 

MYSTERY FILM 8

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“In today’s times it’s great to be able to sit down with a movie and not have to think about it. Just be entertained by it. It’s a great “bad day” movie. Go home put your feet up and just veg out. Sure to improve your bad mood greatly!!”

“I DEFY anyone, including the Queen and the Pope and even terrorists with their sour pusses, not to come away singing one of the tunes from this movie”

“Ignore the critics. The old adage that “Those who CAN, DO; those who CAN’T, CRITICIZE,” fits like a glove here.”

 

MYSTERY FILM 9

“This film is Ace McCool!!!!!! It reminds me of when I was growing up! I remember thinking it was TOP BANANA!!!!”

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“Ok, so obviously this isn’t the best movie in the world, but it sure isn’t the worst. It’s a fun b-movie romp. If you were expecting Shakespeare, then I’m sure you were a little disappointed.”

“YES, it’s cheesy!YES, it’s 80’s. VERY 80’s…YES, it’s awkward!YES, it probably wouldn’t be deemed appropriate for children these days with various sexual references, etc.”

 

MYSTERY FILM 10

“taking the longest book and turning it into the shortest movie not only shows just how bad the direction and screen writing was but also how cheap WB is getting. gee did LotR do pretty good??”

“This is among the worst mass market trash films ever. Full of no script and zero performances. It should even be watched by children as there is so much suggestive content in each scene that it’s amazing that it did not get an R-Rating, Next to this, Transformers seems like fine art.”

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” The carrying of backpacks to school and the eating of cereal in the Great Hall indicate exactly what sort of movie this is. Thoroughly disgusting and unforgivable.”

“I must disclose I purchased this as a gift for my wife. That said, I did watch it with her. I don’t get it!!! Way too violent for young children, and way to juvenile for an adult. Just a pile of brittish crap dumped on us like most from across the pond. I do not understand the lore of a poorly written movie, with poor acting and directing, loaded with mistakes. All of the subsequent films have basically the same story line. Just an over-hyped boring film….”

Click here for the Answers.

 

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