Dynasty Episode 10 Review: A Well Dressed Tarantula

This Dynasty review contains spoilers.

Dynasty: Episode 10

Dynasty did not come to play tonight, friends. It took a while, but it seems that with the last few episodes before the break this show has really hit its stride. “A Well-Dressed Tarantula,” which could frankly describe almost everyone on this show, proved that Dynasty deserved the full-season pickup. The sight of the Flores-Carringtons at the end of the episode, all dressed in gold and incidentally holding glasses of champagne, lining up to reveal how they took down Cristal’s mobbed up family, was a crowning moment. That’s what this show is all about.

I was prepared to pan this episode for relying (once again) on everyone keeping secrets for no good reason. The “I can’t tell you” game is tedious as a viewer, and it has come up with Cristal for practically every episode. Luckily, this was so much better than that.

From the moment Monica dropped the Caracas connection in front of Colhane I was hoping Team Carrington would get their shit together. To be honest, it seemed most likely that Colhane would show his business savvy and figure it out himself. Sammy Jo always seemed like he would do the right thing, and while I wasn’t holding my breath for Fallon, I thought that once she knew how bad it was she would at least not be actively terrible. But Blake? I totally bought that Blake was just into tossing his wife around now. You got me, show. We distrust these little monsters as much as you hoped we would.

It was smart to show us what Steven was really up to early on – make the audience feel like we’ve met our twist quota for the night. This was probably the first true scheme that really worked for me this season, and I hope we see a lot more like it.

Frankly I expected more from Fallon’s Lady Goldfinger Party, as Steven called it. Where was her Mariah Carey-style gold litter? Why did no one jump out of that cake? How is Sammy Jo the only one who broke off a piece of gold-encrusted cabana boy? And I don’t care what Fallon says, Cristal’s dress was slaying, cape and all.

I could almost forget our recent revelation about Jeff Colby, and be happy for Fallon. The woman showed real emotional growth, for a whole minute! Now of course investing in the company is a bad idea, even if Jeff wasn’t plotting to take down her entire family. And so is “late-night workplace grab-ass,” in general, but soaps are allergic to boundaries and professionalism, so there’s no saving that.

In the first half of the episode I was bored by Jeff and Fallon, a couple approaching zero chemistry. But by the end, Fallon doing the right thing for her family (even Cristal) and being so excited about trying a real relationship made me want it to work out, for her sake. I’m sure she’ll be back to eating cake toppers any moment now, and this feeling will pass.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, the relationship between Sammy Jo and Steven was excellent, so caring and open. I’m officially hoping that when Steven gets his substance use disorder under control that Sam will be waiting. Perhaps the best part of this was the class education of Mr. Steven Carrington. Sammy’s lesson on pawnshops was accurate and empathetic, with a Dynasty twist. And Steven, always the show’s conscience, took it to heart.

It seems impossibly thick that he didn’t understand until now that single partenthood is hard and that Sammy had a tough life, but those lines read better once you know Steven is going to hand $20,000 over unprompted to someone who deserves it. I know everything comes back to haunt the Carringtons, but I hope that just that one action won’t – I’d like to see morality rewarded on this show, just once.

If Steven is the conscience, Sammy Jo is the heart. He is quite possibly the best person on this show, and tonight’s episode cemented that. He makes the right choices for his family, he wants the best for them, and he’s only ever lied when it’s a very good idea. He’s also one of the best dressed, and manages to deliver some of the best one-liners, without pissing everyone off (I see you, Fallon.)

The only downside to this episode? Minimal Anders. I hope he keeps coming around on Cristal – his heart didn’t really sound in it when he mocked her during the opening scene. He also gave surprisingly good advice to Steven about his recovery, and seems like he genuinely wants the guy to get better. He also kept his opinion about Colhane and Monice more or less in check, which seems like a coup. Does this mean he and Colhane are buds? Does Anders have a sweetheart? Is Anders queer? Please give me the Sammy Jo and Anders Show, just two people disdainfully pretending not to be BFFs.

So Steven’s off to make his own money I guess. Cristal and Sammy are in Blake’s good graces again. Monica and Colhane will keep sleeping together until one of them gets too hung up on Fallon and ruins it. Jeff and his dad are still plotting. Oh, yeah, Fallon got kidnapped.

Epic snark and such:

Anders phoning it in: “Especially after he discovers his wife’s a congenital liar, and murderer.”

Cristal with the prescient mythology lesson: “do you even know who Midas was? He destroyed his whole family out of greed.”

Shout out to Chad Michael Murray! Keepin’ it in the family, CW.

“Shouldn’t you have fired your wife by now? Or divorced your COO? Take your pick.”

A sentence I never thought I’d hear Cristal say: “Thank god Fallon was there!”

Sammy Jo dropping knowledge: “If you love someone, you tell them the truth.”