“Sometimes, I wonder about all the people in this town,” Bart Simpson says in the opening of one of the best known anthology episodes of The Simpsons. “Do you think anything interesting ever happens to them? I mean, there must be thousands of great stories out there.”
Well, there weren’t thousands of great stories at the time, only about 22, and not even all of them merited inclusion in the twenty-first episode of Season 7.
“’22 Short Films About Springfield’ never had 22 stories but the second draft did have 20! Here’s the Lionel Hutz story that was cut,” tweeted Josh Weinstein, former writer and showrunner for The Simpsons.
“And just noticed this draft is from 22 years ago!,” Weinstein added. That would be one story for every year that passed.
The script sequence features Springfield’s favorite mouthpiece, Lionel Hutz, voiced by the late, great Phil Hartman. Hartman cane up through Saturday Night Live and also voiced the TV and infomercial star Troy McClure. Hartman died in a tragic family shooting in 1998.
In the script, Hutz, who also went by the aliases Miguel Sanchez and Dr. Nguyen Van Phuoc for legal reasons, is celebrating a leisurely lunchtime birthday celebration with Marge’s mother, Mrs. Bouvier, and assorted others.
Hutz is all charm, smarm and flattery. He put too few candles on the cake because he just can’t believe a woman with such beautiful eyes could be 68 years old. Hutz also flirts with Maude Flanders before it is revealed that they are both part of a jury presided over by Judge Schneider.
Schneider and the ambulance chasing criminal defense attorney have a checkered history. Hutz kinda ran over the judge’s dog. Oh, did I say dog? I meant son. Did I say kinda? It was actually repeatedly.
Don’t worry. Hutz is oily enough to get away with it. It’s not like he was ordered to give free nose jobs to everybody, starting with starting with Jasper.
Weinstein co-wrote several classic episodes of The Simpsons, including “Sideshow Bob Roberts” and “Bart vs. Australia.” He was also responsible for the rise in quality on Gravity Falls season 2.
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