Sometimes a seemingly insignificant piece of news can have a big impact. A little nugget of info suddenly pulls the scales from your eyes and lets you see that David Icke was right; we really do live in a world of reptilian insurgents. Yes, the world is evil and all things within it survive on the festering carcasses of those they have slain. We’re all zombies blindly wondering towards the twin barrels of Jill Velentine’s gun, wading through the foetid slime of our own bodily secretions. Maybe.
Long story short; Fox has got its hands on Spaced. That perfect jewel of modern geekdom’s crown – and still the most meaningful work to emerge from the undeniably wonderful minds of Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, Jessica Stevenson and Nick Frost – is to be remade for the US. No doubt it will come in 47 billion instalments; stretching the concept fibre optic thin on the rack specified by the ‘The Big Book Of US Scheduling Rules’, and by the execs of the most ruthless commissioners that side of the pond. Basically, they’re all a bunch of bastards and I want them to suffer, horribly, alone, watching the shit that they shovel out… And quite possibly with an owl. Leave it alone.
But ‘why?’ I hear you cry… ‘Why not remake a good show?’
Well, here’s why.
Some things just are… They’re poignant, perfect. They exist within a space and time of their own and they are of that time. They perfectly encapsulate a period, they surf the feelings of the age and ride a zeitgeistal boar right to the back of your brain. There they exist, forever to lie on fluffy pillows of appreciation, warm and snuggly in your mind, waiting to be visited for tea and biscuits at regular intervals, and eager to share old stories of when we were younger.
They’re just right… Right there and right then – A New Hope, Star Trek TOS, The Prisoner, The Avengers, The Young Ones, The Matrix and Buffy are such experiences… Spaced was another. The idea of it being dragged kicking and screaming across the years, and across the ocean, by Murdoch’s boys is a horrible thing to contemplate. And who have they put in control of recreating the best geek-com ever? Some git who was responsible for Will & bloody Grace’s smugness… And Mc-f**king-G – the man who bought us Charlie’s Angels Full Throttle and a slew of the most vacuous pop videos ever created. Like I said: BASTARDS.
‘Well don’t watch it then…’
Yeah, that’s an option; but it’s not part of the solution… It doesn’t stop the aching in my stomach, the horrible inevitability of it all – and the image in my head of the entire world as Tom Green humping a dead moose with my face. Okay, maybe that last one was a little extreme – and possibly an issue for my therapist… So let’s skip to the end shall we?
STOP THIS… Do whatever you can. It’s JUST WRONG.