Best Simpsons Quotes Ever: Part 5

More The Simpsons wit and wisdom to see you throught the weekend as our best quotes marathon continues...

Think he's impressed with today's quotes?

Today, Bart fires a salvo in the family’s war with the Bush clan, Barney joins the girl scouts and Kent Brockmann tells it like it is. Let’s get down to it…

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Millhouse: Trust me Bart, it’s better to walk in on both of your parents than just one of them.

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Hi… I’m Troy McLure you may remember me from such educational films as “Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly,” and “Here Comes the Metric System!”

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Bart: …I have to go to TorontoHomer: Canada? Why should we leave America to go visit America junior?

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Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don’t show up tomorrow don’t bother showing up on Monday.Homer: Woo-hoo… Four-day weekend.

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Lisa: All this fuss for a baseball game; why don’t this many people turn out to see a teacher inspire a class of children…Homer: Oh, but it did happen… Yesterday, IN CRAZYTOWN!

***George Bush Snr. (real footage shown on Simpson’s TV): America needs families more like The Waltons and less like The Simpsons.Bart: Hey, we’re just like the Waltons; we’re praying for an end to the depression too.

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Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I’m an alcoholic.Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can’t admit that you have a problem?

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Mr. Burns: I’ll keep it short and sweet… Family, religion, friendship; these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

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Kent Brockman: Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve been to Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together.

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Song Of The Day: The Stonecutters Song (the anthem of Springfield’s most secret society)

Who controls the British crown?Who keeps the metric system down?

We do! We do.

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Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?Who keeps the Martians under wraps?

We do! We do.

Who holds back the electric car?Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?

We do! We do.

Who robs cave fish of their sight?Who rigs every Oscar night?

We do! We do.

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