I’ve never got strip clubs. The idea of going somewhere to get aroused and then not have sex sounds absolutely horrible to me. The idea of a group of men going out to a club to get aroused together sounds a bit gay to me, which puts it at odds with it’s hyper-hetero reputation. But then, to acknowledge that these guys are getting aroused by female strippers makes it sound not gay at all. It’s all a bit confusing.
Anyway, it’s probably best that I don’t dwell on the introduction as it seems to be focused on suggesting that all strip club enthusiasts are bisexual. Time to move on to an obnoxious simile to start the review. Zombies Zombies Zombies is like how I imagine it would be to date a career-stripper with a serious coke problem; it’s a complete mess but there’s a lot of fun to be had.
I’ll not spend too long on the plot, which is something I have in common with the film-makers (I know, but I couldn’t resist). When a local scientist finds a cure for cancer, on his own in a small laboratory, some of his pills are stolen and he inadvertently starts a zombie plague. It’s a side-effect of the cancer cure, apparently. Soon enough we’re barricaded in a strip club with a band of strippers, a heroic brother, a useless boyfriend, a pleasant strip-club owner, a violent pimp and a pregnant crackwhore. With no Jerry Springer to referee, there’s much bickering and fighting.
They soon deduce that the zombies that have descended on the club definitely have something to do with the local scientist and heroic brother takes feisty stripper to go and get the antidote. However, given that his cure for cancer also caused zombie-ism, it’s no surprise that his cure for zombie-ism also causes explosions. They get back to the strip club just in time for an epic battle which sees zombies against strippers, who are now armed with a shotgun, a chainsaw and high heeled shoe.
Explaining the plot here was an obligation, but I’m sure you probably don’t give a shit. You want to know about the gore and the boobs. Well…
The gore is, for the most part, great fun. This is a micro-budget film and the effects seem to have been approached with a lot of enthusiasm. There’s a terrific point where a zombie takes a chainsaw through the face. There’s blood all over the place through out the film and it’s all done in a spirited fashion.
There is a major let down on the gore front, however – a truly dreadful CG-fest at the end of the film. Bad CG is a recurring theme in low-budget horror movies, and it never ceases to annoy me. Your budget is never an excuse to do something badly. Working within your means is a skill of film-making; if you can’t work out how to make exploding your zombies not look shit then you need to think up something else to do.
Zombies Zombies Zombies isn’t the boob-o-rama you’re probably expecting. There’s a few at the beginning and a couple at the end. That said, if you really are desperate for female nudity on film you might want to consider stepping your game up and buying some pornography. Nothing but boobs there. This is a horror film and regardless of the plot involving strippers, the nudity is still a footnote.
The acting is pretty dodgy on all accounts, but this really adds to the charm. The script isn’t too bright, either. It doesn’t make a great deal of sense and the dialogue is fantastically dodgy. The fight scenes look a bit slow motion and at one point it appears that the strip-club is made of half-inch thick plasterboard. These things might seem like criticisms but actually they give the film a real no-budget horror charm.
If ever there was a candidate for the Den of Geek golden one star, it was Zombies Zombies Zombies. It was made for no money and is a trashy, badly made zombie flick that brings little more than enthusiasm to the table. But enthusiasm is something I have time for, and when the end result is as fun as this, the other things are -sort of – forgivable. Switch off your brain and there’s a good time to be had with Zombies Zombies Zombies.
Extras There’s a trailer, a 6-minute gag-reel and a 15-minute ‘making of’ doc. The ‘making of’ does what it can to showcase a fun set where blood-filled SuperSoakers were drenching excitable cast members and everyone got on. It’s all pretty standard stuff.
Zombies Zombies Zombies is out now.