Zombies DVD review

Jenny's on MSN but she's also watching Zombies, and no amount of fiddling with the contrast can actually make the film practically watchable...

Zombies LOL

I actually forgot what I was watching part-way through this, so I’ve had to refer to the conversation I was having with Martin over MSN at the time. Edited for errors and irrelevant comments about pizza.

Jenny says:Crumbs, something has happened in this film

Jenny says:“It looked like a hand, I swear!”

Jenny says:This film is so dark that it should be a radio show

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Jenny says:Cause I can’t see bugger all

Jenny says:WOW THEY’RE RUNNING

Martin says:Running zombies?

Jenny says:I can’t see

Jenny says:LOL, zombies are breaking into a car

Jenny says:they’re all wearing 1930s hats

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Jenny says:“What are you doing out at night? I warned you!”

Jenny says:“It’s Emma, I think she’s with the one called Barry”

Jenny says:“We’re all going to die aren’t we?”

Jenny says:“You open that door, you will die”

Jenny says:“OPEN THAT FUCKING DOOR”

Jenny says:This is directly from the script.

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Jenny says:“NO NO NO” (Bang)

Jenny says:“Get out of here” (scream) (bang)

Jenny says:“Come on Mr Hanks”

Jenny says:“Shit!”

Jenny says:“Son…of…a…bitch!”

Jenny says:“GO GO GO!”

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Jenny says:“Come on!”

Jenny says:“Godammit!”

Jenny says:(noise like zombies)

Jenny says:(clearly slowed-down pig)

Jenny says:“Why are they stopping?”

Jenny says:“You come up here, I’ll kill you, I’ll kill all of you, I mean it!” (bang)

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Jenny says:(“grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”)

Jenny says:“As you sow so shall you reap” (grrrrrrrrrrrrr)

Jenny says:“Hanks? Is that you?”

Jenny says:(bang)(bang)(more pigs)

Jenny says:(man screaming)

Jenny says:(sound of man being bludgeoned)

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Jenny says:Lots of blood

Jenny says:(sobbing)

Jenny says:“She hasn’t had anyone to play with in a very long time”

Jenny says:“OH GOD!”

Jenny says:(sobbing)

Martin says:Is that you crying?

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Martin says:I’m sorry I will try and find better films

Jenny says:That’s the end of that

Jenny says:What a load of zombies

Jenny says:Director: “We can show a lot of gore, which is disgusting, or we can show little, which is shocking and different”.

Martin says:Haha he wants it all ways for his $37 budget

Jenny says:Ugh, marshmellow and meat, with ketchup and syrup

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Jenny says:So that the kids could eat it

Martin says:Yuch

Jenny says:Waste of time, you couldn’t see it anyway

2 stars

Zombies is released on 21st July 

 

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Rating:

2 out of 5