With John Rambo on the way, Sly is in the midst of a bit of a career resurgence. So we sat him down in the Ready Reckoner Chair….
Rocky BalboaSurprisingly good conclusion to the boxing saga. Who’d have thunk it?
Taxi 3He’s only in it for five minutes. And speaks French in it.
DrivenA film that manages to make the idea of driving a fast car dull, long before The Fast & The Furious did the same thing.Get Carter Atrocious remake. Nothing else to say.
AntzHugely underappreciated computer animated movie. Far better than Shrek.Cop Land A bold career change for Stallone that he never convincingly followed up. Cop Land is a terrific little movie, though.Daylight Crap disaster film which should have been good. Too much shouting, too much pondering, not much of interest.
AssassinsAnother misfire: Richard Donner, Sly and Antonio Banderas should have worked. But it really doesn’t.Judge Dredd Not an outright disaster, but a profound dumping on a British comic legend. Words can’t express how woefully miscast Stallone was. And everyone knew it at the time, too.The Specialist A real guilty pleasure: James Woods, Stallone, dodgy special effects and lots of explosions. We’ll have some of that.Demolition Man A Den Of Geek favourite. We’re already written about it here.Cliffhanger A film that marked a real career rebirth for Stallone. Better on a big screen than small, but it’s the photography that lifts it above standard action fare.Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot Tony really likes this. Simon thinks it’s a staggering disaster. Simon pulled rank, so one star it is.
OscarTerrible mob comedy.
Rocky VA boxing film with very little boxing in it! Great idea!Tango & Cash Another Den Of Geek favourite: Stallone and Kurt Russell click, and they should have made lots of sequels.Lock Up Crap. But hilariously crap.Rambo III Cartoon violence. Tony likes it. And as he was sulking over Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, he was allowed to knock this up to three stars…Over The Top The arm wrestling movie! Wonder why they haven’t have more of them?Cobra Crime is a disease. Meet the cure. Just not a very good cure.Rocky IV A standout moment in 80s cinema. No shit.
Rambo First Blood: Part II
First BloodNearly a five. Back when it was all serious like.Rocky III A fine Rocky sequel, with the genius casting of Mr T lifting it immensely.
Rocky IISurprising good, if predictable, sequel.
Escape To VictoryA fun movie, with Stallone as the world’s least convincing goalkeeper. Fair does though, but Rambo in goal and you’ll never lose on penalties.Paradise Alley Something a bit different and daring, and quite successful too.
RockyThe only Stallone film to win a Best Picture Oscar. That’s true, that is. It’s still really good, too.
Death Race 2000Far from a classic. Because Martin says so.
Not watched:Spy Kids 3-D (and never will watch it – the first one was bad enough)An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn (supposed to be desperate)RhinestoneNighthawks
And we didn’t count all the stuff where he was ‘Man In Bar’ and things like that (else Klute would have made it onto the list!). Check back next Friday for another Ready Reckoner…