Christian Bale Hailed by Church of Satan for Golden Globes Speech

Devilish doings at the Golden Globes cause the Church of Satan to praise a Christian Bale.

Christian Bale Golden Globe Church of Satan

The Church of Satan finally found a Christian they can believe in. The almost 46-year-old occultist institution, founded by Anton Szandor LaVey, hailed Christian Bale who, technically speaking thanked Satan after picking up his Best Actor in a Drama statue at the 2019 Golden Globes, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

Bale, who won the award for playing former Vice President Dick Cheney in the political satire film Vice, gushed “Thank you to Satan for giving me inspiration on how to play this role.”

Bale was obviously referring to the character he played, a seemingly supernaturally powerful man with a demonic propensity for flouting the free will of the people, but the Church of Satan took it on themselves to take it for the team. “To us, Satan is a symbol of pride, liberty and individualism, and it serves as an external metaphorical projection of our highest personal potential,” The Church of Satan tweeted. “As Mr. Bale’s own talent and skill won him the award, this is fitting. Hail Christian! Hail Satan!”

The former vice president’s daughter Congresswoman Liz Cheney, who hasn’t always seen eye to eye with her father, took exception to the accursed blessing. She took to Twitter to share a 2008 article about Bale’s alleged assault on his mother and sister. “Satan probably inspired him to do this, too,” she tweeted.

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In the film Bales plays Dick Cheney as a Machiavellian voice in the ear of a charismatic conservative politician sitting at the desk of the highest political office in the world, and in a stunning performance we feel elvated the film as a whole. Bale’s shoutout wasn’t the first time the administration has been called out as a Left Hand Path leaning administration. On Sep. 20, 2006, Venezuela’s politically left leaning President Hugo Chávez delivered a damning speech to the United Nations General Assembly, according to The New York Times. Chavez was on the same microphone President George W. Bush spoke into just the day before and noted “it smells of sulfur still today. Yesterday, ladies and gentlemen, from this rostrum, the president of the United States, the gentleman to whom I refer as the devil, came here, talking as if he owned the world. Truly. As the owner of the world.”

The president, who spoke in an effort to curb Iran’s nuclear ambitions and push his Middle East policies, came from a long line of world shapers, with some rather outlandish conspiracy theorists believing his father, President George H.W. Bush, married the daughter of Ordo Templi Orientis founder Alistair Crowley, the “Wickedest Man in the World.”

Vice is itself a wicked sendup of the Bush Years, treading territory that has become a fascination for Bale and writer-director Adam McKay: the skewering of white male privilege. Indeed, during Bale’s Golden Globes acceptance speech, he jokingly mused if perhaps U.S. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, who is another rather cynical Republican politician, might be next for the shapeshifting actor. This is also Bale’s second Golden Globe win.

The Devil has, meanwhile, been getting its due quite a bit lately. The Satantic Temple recently sued Netflix over the Baphomet statue in Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. The Satanic Temple was inspired by then–President George W. Bush’s formation of White House Office of Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships, co-founder Malcolm Jarry told The New York Times. He said the temple he started with Lucien Greaves “met all the Bush administration’s criteria for receiving funds, but was repugnant to them.”

Christian Bale didn’t only thank Satan when he beat out John C. Reilly for Stan & Ollie, Lin-Manuel Miranda for Mary Poppins Returns, Robert Redford for The Old Man & the Gun, and Viggo Mortensen for Green Book for the Golden Globe. He thanked his wife for reminding him he had the ability to “ruin a perfectly good movie and a so-so career in one speech,” as well as the film’s director Adam McKay.

The 76th annual Golden Globe Awards was hosted by Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh.

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Culture Editor Tony Sokol cut his teeth on the wire services and also wrote and produced New York City’s Vampyr Theatre and the rock opera AssassiNation: We Killed JFK. Read more of his work here or find him on Twitter @tsokol.