Allow me to retort: Bruce Willis

We celebrate the cinematic quips of Mr Bruce Willis. "Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead"...

Bruce Willis. Motherfu...

I make no secret of the fact that I’m a huge Bruce Willis fan. I’m fully aware that there are better actors, more attractive actors and even harder-looking actors currently gracing cinema screens (Jason Statham is doing a fine job at playing Willis 2.0) but he has starred in some of the best action films (including the very best) ever made and he will always hold a special place in my heart.

It is with this in mind that I present to you my favourite Willis-isms (obvious one not included).

Die Hard (1988)

(Taking up the advice of his fellow plane passenger)

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John McClane: Son of a bitch. Fists with your toes.

(Being hunted down in a conference room by one of Hans Gruber’s goons)Marco: Where are you going, pal? Next time you have a chance to kill someone, don’t hesitate.McClane: (McClane shoots seven bells out of Marco) Thank for the advice.

(In a very, very tight situation in a ventilation shaft)McClane: Now I know what a TV dinner feels like.

Die Hard 2 (1990)

McClane: Holly! There’s your f*cking landing light.

Rent-A-Car Girl: I close in about an hour. Maybe we can go get a drink?McClane: (Shows wedding ring) Just the fax, ma’am. Just the fax.

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Last Man Standing (1996)

John Smith: I can’t say it all went exactly the way I’d planned, but I was right about one thing. They were all better off dead.

Armageddon (1998)

Harry Stamper: Grace, I know I promised you I was coming home.Grace Stamper: I-I don’t understand.Harry Stamper: Looks like I’m gonna have to break that promise.

(Harry is discussing the terms of his men’s ‘contract’)Harry Stamper: Bear would like to stay at the… “White horse”? (looks up at Bear)Bear: White, House. White House.Harry Stamper: White House. Yeah, he’d like to stay in the Lincoln bedroom of the White House for the summer. Stuff like that.Truman: Sure, I think we can, uh, take care of… some of that.Rockhound: (shouting from balcony) Harry!Harry Stamper: (motions back at Rockhound) Yeah one more thing, um… none of them want to pay taxes again. Ever.

Pulp Fiction (1994)

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Fabienne: Whose motorcycle is this?Butch: It’s a chopper, baby.Fabienne: Whose chopper is this?Butch: It’s Zed’s.Fabienne: Who’s Zed?Butch: Zed’s dead, baby. Zed’s dead.

The Last Boy Scout (1991)

Joe Hallenbeck: This is the 90s. You don’t just go around punching people. You have to say something cool first.

Joe Hallenbeck: Can I have a cigarette?Chet: A cigarette? Yeah sure. (gives him one)Joe Hallenbeck: Got a light?Chet: Yeah, got a light. (Just as he’s about the light Hallenbeck’s cigarette he punches him instead)Chet: Ooh baby. I thought you were tough. See Pablo, he’s no sweat!Joe Hallenbeck: I seem to have dropped my cigarette. May I have another?Chet: (hesitates) Sure, sure thing buddy. (gives him another cigarette)Joe Hallenbeck: I’m gonna need a light… and you touch me again, I’ll kill ya.

Joe Hallenbeck: Be prepared, son. That’s my motto. Be prepared.

Joe Hallenbeck: Hey, you got a car here?Pool Owner: Yeah.Joe Hallenbeck: Give me the keys.Pool Owner: No way.Joe Hallenbeck: (Holds his gun to Darian’s head) Give me the keys or I shoot the kid.Darian: “Daddy!”Joe: “Sshhhh.”

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The Fifth Element (1997)

Police: Are you classified as human?Korben Dallas: Negative, I am a meat popsicle.

Korben Dallas: Finger’s gonna kill me.

Die Hard 4.0 (2007)

Warlock: What, like, you a big fan of the Fett?John McClane: (Standing right next to a cardboard cut-out of Boba Fett) No, I was always more of a Star Wars guy.

Matt Farrell: You just killed a helicopter with a car.John McClane: I was out of bullets.

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